I am interested in advertising on popehat.com. Could you please connect me to the best person regarding this?
Any help you could give me would be greatly appreciated.
Max McCall | Publisher Advocate
| Boulder | NYC | London | sovrn.com
I would be the person to contact.
Do you offer a choice of types of ads, so that we could permit ones better suited to our stable of readers?
I appreciate your quick response.
We have the ability to block specific IAB ad categories and if you already have a block list in place- I'd be happy to use that.
Here at sovrn we pride ourselves on being the cleanest ad exchange and as a result, we have been ranked as the cleanest and most trusted ad exchange in the US. As a result we only work with quality brands and fortune 500 companies like Netflix, Doritos, Acura, UnderArmor, American Express, ect.
Do you have anytime this week for a short call to discuss in more detail?
The fact that you can block categories is a great relief. In particular I would want to block the following categories and Fortune 500 Companies:
* Ads for ponies.
* Ads for suspiciously small horses that could conceivably be ponies.
* Ads for horse blankets. Sometimes two ponies will stand one behind the other and throw a horse blanket over the middle so it looks like one elongated horse. I AM NOT FOOLED MAX.
* Ads for Bronies. Bronies are the ponies' Fifth Column.
* Ads for llamas. I have completed a manuscript in which I establish that llama are actually unusually furry, skinny ponies. Several MAJOR publishing houses are interested.
* Ads for the classic 1951 J.D. Salinger novel "The Catcher in the Rye," in which annoying adolescent protagonist Holden Caulfield frequently refers to people as phonies. That sounds like ponies. In fact it's a way to call people ponies while pretending you're not. WHO IS THE "PHONY" NOW HOLDEN.
* Netflix. You mentioned Netflix in a way that suggests you believe it is prestigious and would impress me. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PONY-RELATED CONTENT IS ON NETFLIX, MAX? I when I have an intern search Netflix for "pony" in another room and cautiously text me the results, one of the top returns is a pony-related video called "Dancing on The Clouds." DANCING ON THE GRAVES OF MY CHILDREN IS MORE LIKE IT MAX. Unacceptable.
* Any ad with the words hoof, canter, trot, gallop, mane, maim, eviscerate, butcher, annihilate, despondence, extinction, or Belgium.
I trust that these limitations are acceptable. I would require an indemnity clause that would commit the advertiser to our legal and physical defense in the event that a particular ad triggers a pony attack. In the event that an ad slips through depicting or referencing a prohibited subject I will require liquidated damages in the form of a team of not less than one dozen robust and aggressive members of the species that is the pony's natural enemy.
What's that, Max? A pony doesn't have any natural enemies?
THAT'S MY GODDAMNED POINT MAX. THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO BE SO CAREFUL ABOUT NOT SERVING PONY ADS.
It's a matter of grave concern that I have to clarify such a simple point for you.
Also, I need the money up front, for legal expenses.
I remain, very truly yours,
Ken at Popehat.com
Editor's note: This is the Sovern Holdings has spammed us.
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