Someone would like for me to spend $159 for an ugly plaque commemorating a meaningless anniversary that passed two years ago. Presumably I would then put it on my wall, to impress clients.
The someone in question is a company called American Registry. They make plaques designed to allow your supervisors to demean you in a socially acceptable manner.
Now, apparently, they are in a partnership with our old friend Martindale-Hubbell. Martindale-Hubbell, perhaps momentarily bored of boobs-based advertising and referring crazy people to me, has apparently sold my email address to a commemorative plaque manufacturer.
Or perhaps "partnership" means Martindale just gave them my email address for the lulz; I don't know.
So. What do American Registry and Martindale think of me, as a lawyer? Are they offering plaques with renditions of Bragg prints? Plaques with jury verdict forms showing my clients being acquitted or massively rewarded?
They want me to pay $159 (or today only, $139!) for this:
That's right. American Registry and Martindale want me to pay at least $139 to commemorate a two-year old anniversary of the date I was admitted to the bar.
American Registry and Martindale don't have the stones to say it straight out — but clearly they think I am a tasteless, insipidly vainglorious moron. Attend me: I would rather print out my least favorite Dungeons & Dragons character — from Second Edition — and post it on my wall to promote myself than let any client ever see that plaque. If you, as a client or prospective client, see that plaque on a lawyer's wall, then you should stand up immediately and back out of the room, never showing fear or exposing your back to the lawyer, and then flee to a competent lawyer's office as soon as possible. Because that lawyer is either (1) a hipster asshole who has the plaque up to be ironic, and will find it equally distantly amusing when the legal system runs a train on you, or (2) a mentally feeble git who is probably drooling as we speak.
So, to recap: Fuck you, American Registry and Martindale-Hubbell.
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