Because I am genuinely distressed that Google is paying Gary Mason, of Mason LLP, and Michael Ram, of Ram & Olson LLP, over two million dollars to represent me and thousands of people like me for the Google Buzz class action, a case in which Mason and Ram themselves concede none of us was injured.
Oh but I'm injured now. I'm not quite literally sick to my stomach at the terms of the settlement:
Google will pay a total of $8,500,000 into an interest-bearing account. This $8,500,000, plus interest, will constitute the “Common Fund.” Because few, if any, Class Members suffered compensable actual damages and because a pro rata distribution of the fund to the Class would not be feasible due to the size of the Class, the Common Fund amounts in excess of fees, costs, expenses, and incentive awards will be distributed to organizations that advance the privacy interests of internet users such as the Class Members.
"Oh but Google would have injured thousands of people, but for these brave lawyers who put their time and money into a case no one wanted to bring!" you say.
Google didn't modify its Buzz program because of these leeches. It did it because of reporting by Molly Wood at CNet, whose complaints about the service one day after it rolled out were regurgitated by the rest of the techie media.
Ms. Wood deserves the money more than Mason and Ram. If there's any justice, and there isn't, the Northern District of California will award Mason and Ram a dollar for every consumer who was injured by Google Buzz.
That and five hundred more dollars will cover their airfare home.