It's time for the Road to Popehat, that feature in which we throw open the hood, look at the site's traffic logs for search engine hits, marvel at the sort of questions people pose via Google, and wonder if there's some way to get paid for answering them.
describe the motivational change in mountain dew: I think you're not getting the blue ribbon at the science fair, Scooter.
do women like human flesh? Well, according to a new hit AMC series . . .
where can I find old folks on oxygen photo Try Googling "Rule 34."
How much does a Congressman make in China? That's a trick question. China now sends our Congressman checks so they don't have to travel. They're hoping for direct deposit.
does government know what's best for us? Oh, sweetums, did you come to the right place.
would I be a good Marine recruit The few. The proud. The Googlers.
Why are people so annoying on Facebook: That's the way people are ALL THE TIME. You just notice it on Facebook.
how do you know when a quadrapalegic is dying: I hope to God that's someone looking for a tasteless punchline and not some home health care aide someplace.
how to deal with friggin annoying grandma with dementia: This is exactly why I plan to abandon my family and live in a suite in Vegas when I hit 80.
does sarcasm work on the internet No.
And finally, someone who has not gotten the answers he wanted:
fuck you, kiss my ass computer Someone has been waiting a bit too long for Geek Squad.
Last 5 posts by Ken White
- Department of Justice Uses Search Warrant To Get Data On Visitors to Anti-Trump Site - August 14th, 2017
- America At The End of All Hypotheticals - August 14th, 2017
- Lawsplainer: Why John Oliver Is Anti-Diversity Now - August 11th, 2017
- Anatomy of a Scam, Chapter 15: The Wheels, They Grind - August 10th, 2017
- We Interrupt This Grand Jury Lawsplainer For A Search Warrant Lawsplainer - August 9th, 2017