Gary Coleman was crazy. Arianna Huffington is crazy. Jerry Brown is crazy. Grey Davis was crazy, in a very boring sort of way. Arnold? You'd better believe HE'S crazy.
But we could handle all of those people being crazy. A number of them were clearly crazy before they ran for governor of California.
But inoffensive watermelon-smashing prop comic Gallagher? Did running for governor of our great state drive him crazy? Say it isn't so!
But it is so. And he's not funny-crazy, like a Robin Williams character, or Ron Paul.
At last, after two hours of his tedious, hacky, right-wing manifesto, Gallagher gets to the part his (willing) hostages have been waiting for. It's time to smash some shit. There are the watermelons, there is some cottage cheese ("It's got the curds that blow up, just like on the news!"), there is sauerkraut and syrup and honey. Then Gallagher gets a tin pie plate. He opens a giant can of fruit cocktail and pours it in. He opens a can of some Asian vegetable—water chestnuts, maybe—and pours that in, too. "This is the China people and queers!!!" he screams and takes his sledgehammer to the thing with a fury that is no fun at all. Wet chunks of China people and queers fly everywhere. The hateful, bitter old man laughs.
What. The. Fuck?
Last 5 posts by Ken White
- Hate Speech Debate on More Perfect Live - September 5th, 2017
- Popehat Goes To The Opera: Un ballo in maschera - August 19th, 2017
- Department of Justice Uses Search Warrant To Get Data On Visitors to Anti-Trump Site - August 14th, 2017
- America At The End of All Hypotheticals - August 14th, 2017
- Lawsplainer: Why John Oliver Is Anti-Diversity Now - August 11th, 2017