I'm meeting a client tomorrow at our offices. This is a long-term client of the firm, and previously of our prior firm, brought in by my (managing) partner. He gets sued, or threatened with suit, about once a year based on his business model.
He's a douche. But he pays. One of the major downsides of having partners, rather than being solo: sometimes one must put up with douches that the other partners bring in.
Why is he a douche? He invariably mentions, and sneers and complains about, the ethnicity and/or religion of the people suing him, and attributes their (usually) bogus suits to those attributes. In every. freaking. conversation.
We've gotten good results for him, so he keeps coming back. He is, in other respects, a good client (pays, is legally in the right, listens and cooperates, has interesting issues).
So I deal with it.
But this week I'm not in a mood to take it. So, in an attempt to balance my obligations to myself with my obligations to my partners, I'm going to take passive-aggressive action:
1. Rather than meeting in a conference room, I'm going to bring him into my office, where he can stare at the pictures of my kids (who aren't the same ethnicity as the plaintiff in this new case, but perhaps he'll take the hint).
2. Every time he mentions the plaintiff's ethnicity, I'm going to fart audibly without saying "excuse me."
I'll let you know how it works out.
Updated to edit: The guy threatening to sue client is a [preference] [religion] [ethnicity] [profession], each of which client hates. Client had to use [preference] [religion] [ethnicity] [profession] in every sentence. This was causing client to get tongue-tied, red in face, and out of breath, to dark-comic extent. His biases made him seem, rather than offensive to me, pathetic, blustering, and impotent. Honor was satisfied; I farted not. I'm going to crush the [preference] [religion] [ethnicity] [profession] for him, but not because he's a [preference] [religion] [ethnicity]. I'm going to do it because he's a dishonest bullying twerp who is threatening bogus litigation. (And because he's a [profession], and some of them have an unbecoming God complex, like this one.)
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