A preposterous notion. And anyway, it's all in the name of science.
Methods: Sixteen anesthetized Dorset sheep (26–78 kg) received 0.0 mg/kg (control animals, n = 4), 0.5 mg/kg (n = 4), 1.0 mg/kg (n = 4), or 1.5 mg/kg (n = 4) of methamphetamine hydrochloride as a slow intravenous (IV) bolus during continuous cardiac monitoring. The animals received the following exposures in sequence from a TASER X26 ECD beginning at 30 minutes after the administration of the drug: 1) 5-second continuous exposure, 2) 15-second intermittent exposure, 3) 30-second intermittent exposure, and 4) 40-second intermittent exposure. Darts were inserted at the sternal notch and the cardiac apex, to a depth of 9 mm. Cardiac motion was determined by thoracotomy (smaller animals, ≤ 32 kg) or echocardiography (larger animals, > 68 kg). Data were analyzed using descriptive statistics and chi-square tests.
Translated to English, that means that scientists dosed a bunch of sheep with methamphetamine, then cut holes in their chests, then fired TASERs at them to learn whether the sheep would suffer heart attacks. The goal was to learn whether firing TASERs at meth-addicted humans constitutes a safety risk.
Duh. For what it's worth, the meth-addled sheep were given anesthetics before TASERs were fired at them. I'll bet the sheep felt great the next morning. For what it's also worth, the study was paid for by TASER, International.
I have little sympathy for the animal rights movement, which fritters its moral capital on frivolity. I have little regard for sheep. But the wanton cruelty and silliness of this study so offends me that I'm going to take a page from the PETA book, naming participating doctors and scientists after the jump.
Dr. Donald Dawes, of Lompoc California, is an emergency room physician. He fires TASERs at meth-addled sheep.
Dr. Jeffrey Ho, of Minneapolis Minnesota, fires TASERS at meth-addled sheep.
Dr. James R. Miner, of the University of Louisville, fires TASERS at meth-addled sheep.
Physiologist Erik Lunden, formerly of the University of Louisville, fires TASERs at meth-addled sheep.
Others are named within the study abstract, but I can't be confident of who they are.
If you would like to discuss the methodology of firing TASERs at meth-addled sheep, you may direct inquiries to Dr. Ho. His email address is firstname.lastname@example.org