The scene: as with so many such discussions, my car. Katrina is away at a party with the youngest. Tasked to take Evan (8) and Abby (6) to dinner, I have employed promises of shrimp and crab to persuade them to have their first Japanese meal.
Me: Okay. So Daddy will have some octopus. You guys can have shrimp tempura. And maybe some sushi. Maybe with some crab.
Abby: How do they kill the crab?
Me: Hand-to-hand combat.
Evan. No. That's not how you kill a crab.
Me: OK. How do you?
Evan. You grab it by the leg. And then you smack it against the wall again and again. BANG BANG BANG.
Evan: Or you could go into a small, small room. Then you could hit the crab on one wall — BANG! — and then on the other wall — BANG! until it was dead.
Me: Okay. You have now officially creeped me the heck out.
Evan: [thrusting arms above his head] WOOOOOOO VICTORY!
Abby: Daddy? Do you know how they kill an octopus?
Me: . . . . . no?
Abby: WITH A BAZOOKA! KAPOOOOOOSSHHSSHSHS!
Me: Okay, no more cartoons.
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