Oh, Mike Duvall. Every time we've grasped the full scope of your idiocy and asshattery, we learn that we've only glimpsed a scintilla of it.
Yesterday I talked about how Mike resigned his California Assembly seat after he chose, in an Assembly hearing room with an open microphone, to boast to a colleague in graphic terms about screwing a lobbyist and some other unspecified person. I updated when he resigned. I noted that his "apologies" were of the "sure am embarrassed that I got caught" variety.
I want to make it clear that my decision to resign is in no way an admission that I had an affair or affairs. My offense was engaging in inappropriate story-telling and I regret my language and choice of words. The resulting media coverage was proving to be an unneeded distraction to my colleagues and I resigned in the hope that my decision would allow them to return to the business of the state.
So. Let's see. Here are the possibilities:
1. He didn't have any affairs. But he did dishonestly boast about having screwed a specific woman, using rather nauseating details, thus falsely painting her as (1) someone who cheated on her husband, (2) someone who helped him cheat on his wife, (3) someone who engaged in sex in the Assembly building, (4) someone who complimented him in nauseating terms regarding bodily fluids, and (5) a lobbyist willing to screw an the co-chair of the committee regulating her client's industry. He regards this as "story-telling" and an issue of "choice of words." Also, he thinks his colleagues will be impressed with him, and appreciate him, if he tells them he cheats on his wife with multiple women and screws lobbyists. So he's a sophomoric scumbag who spread rumors that threatened not only a lobbyist's personal reputation, but her career. He's also a phenomenally stupid scumbag, to boast about such stuff next to a microphone in a public hearing room.
2. He did have the affairs. So he's prolonging the news cycles about himself, and about the lobbyist, in order to clarify that he's only willing to apologize for boasting about the affairs. So he's an asshole, and an idiot.
Seriously, Mike. Just shut up. You aren't making life any easier for yourself.
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