Via P.Z. Myers of Pharyngula — who no doubt would view me as a moron and a serious threat to human decency because I am not merely a churchgoer, but a deacon — I learned of Christians AGAINST Cartoons, a site ostensibly devoted to telling you how the cartoons your kids watch are vehicles through which Satan will abscond with their immortal souls, leaving them to wander through life towards eternal damnation as drug addicts, whores, politicians, and class action attorneys.
P.Z. believes this site is real, as opposed to satirical. Inasmuch as PZ views all religious expression as inherently satirical, it's possible that his judgment is clouded. This stuff seems pretty Landover-Baptist-ish to me:
There are disturbing things in the “Dora the Explorer: Dance to the Rescue” DVD. This is potentially the most dangerous and blasphemous cartoon I have yet reviewed for this site. Not only does this disc promote SATANISM and PAGANISM but it also propagates THE NEW COMMUNISM as an Unholy Trinity. First, Dora, a force for the false belief in cultural relativism and the rejection of GOD’S TRUTH disguised as educational television, is accompanied in her adventures by a TALKING GOAT during her adventures on this DVD. As it says in Leviticus 16:20-22:
"And Aaron shall lay both his hands upon the head of the live goat, and confess over him all the iniquities of the children of Israel, and all their transgressions in all their sins, putting them upon the head of the goat, and shall send him away by the hand of a fit man into the wilderness: And the goat shall bear upon him all their iniquities unto a land not inhabited: and he shall let go the goat in the wilderness."
This goat that bears the sins of all of the Children of Israel is Azazel Goat, The Goat of Mendes, The Devil Himself! There is no doubt that the creators of “Dora The Explorer” included this Goat as a reference to the Lord of the Suphur Pit to put our Children at ease with the demonic in much the same manner as the creators of “Monsters Inc.” and “Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends” that we have discussed earlier.
Surely if this were genuine there would be an entire page about Caillou. Isn't there an applicable verse someplace? Perhaps in Jackson 2:8: "And verily I tell you, if thou whinest like a little bitch, then shall I smite thee like a little bitch, yea, even if thou appearest to be a chemotherapy patient or something. I say unto you, even childhood leukemia, if that is what is wrong with you, is no excuse for acting like unto a mewling insufferable brat. Sayest not 'Mooooommmmyyyy.' Lookest I like mommy to you? Say 'Mommy' again. I darest you. SAYETH IT. Oh, I crave your pardon. Did my rod and my staff break your concentration?"
But there's no Caillou. Also no Barney, for God's sake. How could you not write about the Biblical dangers of an eight-foot purple dinosaur who is suspiciously physically affectionate with five-year-olds?
So I vote parody. And a funny parody at that. Though not quite as funny as PZ Myers concluding it is real.
Last 5 posts by Ken White
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