You could make them French.
Here stateside the latest spate of terrorism is in Santa Cruz, California. Even that oppressively progressive community managed outrage when people devoted to the concept that all life has value and must be protected firebombed an occupied house, forcing the young family inside to flee from a second story window using a ladder. This is the apparent work of animal rights "activists", according to their sometimes mouthpiece and frequent apologist Jerry Vlasak:
A different view was expressed today by Jerry Vlasak, a Los Angeles spokesman for the North American Animal Liberation Press Office, which often posts on its Web site communiques from activists taking credit for attacks. He said the benefit of animal research does not justify its expense or the exploitation of animals.
Vlasak said the bombers likely were not trying to hurt Feldheim, but were instead "trying to send a message to this guy, who won't listen to reason, that if he doesn't stop hurting animals, more drastic measures will be taken … it's certainly not an initial tactic, but a tactic of last resort."
I'm a big fan of free speech, but I haven't thought all the way through whether it covers someone who voluntarily enlists as the spokesperson for an active terrorist group. I'd have to think it through and research it. Meanwhile, if someone wants to pass the hat to hire John Yoo to come up with some legal justifications for Mr. Vlasak to spend the next ten years having his prostate examined by a quadruple-murderer cellmate, I might be a little too busy to get around to protesting.
But I'm drifting from my original point, which is about the relative obnoxiousness of terrorists. It's sort of a multi-factoral test involving dangerousness and visciousness and scariness and pretentiousness of your name and your demands and stuff. For instance, even if they only vandalize stuff, French wine terrorists who are demanding protectionist laws from the government to protect their plonk from cheaper or better foreign competition and insist on calling themselves "CRAV", or "Regional Committee of Viticulture Action", get pegged very high on the obnoxiousness scale, because (1) they're French, (2) they use the 'committee' nomenclature, which is offensive because it's socialist 60s-leftover bullshit and because committees are only supposed to kill your soul, and (3) because they are engaging in terrorism to demand government regulation of trade, for God's sake. Off to the guillotine, Pierre.
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