I just had the most comical fight, because it wasn't a fight. It was, as a better man than me said, an exercise in the art of fighting without fighting.
I'm leaving my office to grab lunch and discuss a release with a client, see, and there's this right turn lane beside me. And there's this old lady at the front of the lane, not turning right. I don't blame her, she looks really frail, and there are some maniacs on the road in this town. And behind her, to my right, in a white pickup truck with a decal of a kid chewing bubblegum and the words "Blow me!" on the side, is the world's angriest young man, laying on his horn and screaming at the woman for failing to turn. The young man's truck and behavior are not the only remarkable traits about him. He is an albino. Anyway…
"TURN BITCH! YOU AIN'T GONNA TURN? TURN BITCH!"
Bitch seems oblivious to the young man's anger, but I'm not. I roll down my window and yell at him to shut up. This upsets him. He actually gets out of his truck and screams, "YOU TALKING TO ME?"
I reply, "WELL I'M THE ONLY ONE HERE!" (Note: this almost never happens to me.)
He starts walking over to my car.
I open and reach into my glove compartment, leaving my hand inside, gazing at him. He stops, and returns my stare, wondering, I think, what's inside the box. (My vehicle registration and a road map of the eastern seaboard).
The light changes. Bitch drives off. I do too, but not before yelling "YOU MISSED YOUR TURN DUMBASS!" at him.
Life, my friends, is what you make of it.