We've previously covered the ridiculous lengths to which people who believe they suffer from nut allergies, in particular peanut allergies, will go. People like Dr. Tehmina Haque of Long Island, who sued American Airlines when her son was not hurt, and her lawyer Kenneth Mollins, who evidently makes his living suing on behalf of people who were not injured, but could have been.
Today's nut allergy story, however, concerns a tragedy. An important person was not seriously hurt, but could have been. That's right. I'm talking about David Lee Roth of Van Halen. Evidently Roth isn't suing anyone, but he should and we'll cover it as soon as he does.
You've heard those stories about Van Halen? No not the ones about the gerbil, or the stomach pump. I think that's Rod Stewart. I mean the stories about Van Halen and their stringent requirements concerning M&M candy products served backstage: No brown M&Ms; no peanut M&Ms. But M&Ms must be present. Now the mystery is solved.
Van Halen lead singer David Lee Roth was pulled over by two Canadian police officers, who approached and quickly realized the rock star was in anaphylactic shock due to a nut allergy.
That's right. There's a reason for those nutty contract provisions rock stars insist upon. Every time David Lee Roth dipped into a bowl of M&Ms, he was taking his life into his own hands and mouth. Because that's the rock and roll way.
I once represented a country singer, whose music I dislike but who is a pretty nice guy, in a civil suit based on frivolous allegations that his bus had run over some insignificant person's head or something. I forget, but anyway, after his deposition, I asked him about the meticulous provisions contained within his venue contract concerning the number, color, thread weave, and dimensions of the towels that must be present backstage. He replied that it was there for two reasons: that he always had to know where his towel was;
and that it was just to make sure they were paying attention, because if they met the towel requirements, they'd probably meet others he didn't have time to check.
Let's all be thankful that the Ontario police took the time to check on David Lee Roth. A star was almost added to heaven's firmament.