Now, you almost expect folks in Florida to accuse teachers of wizardry when they make matchsticks disappear or read from books or do other such Hogwarts stuff. But what about the multi-culti, enlightened, modern, meticulously regulated new Athens of the Northern Hemisphere, Canada? Surely they don't go in for such shenanigans.
Well . . .
. . . now that you mention it . . . a woman in Barrie Ontario was reported to Children's Aid and investigated at the request of her child's school because of the word of a psychic:
Leduc's weird tale began on May 30, when she dropped young Victoria off for class at Terry Fox Elementary and headed in to work, only to receive a frantic phone call from the school telling her it was urgent she come back right away.
The frightened mother rushed back to the campus and was stunned by what she heard – the principal, vice-principal and her daughter's teacher were all waiting for her in the office, telling her they'd received allegations that Victoria had been the victim of sexual abuse – and that the CAS had been notified.
How did they come by such startling knowledge? Leduc was incredulous as they poured out their story.
"The teacher looked and me and said: 'We have to tell you something. The educational assistant who works with Victoria went to see a psychic last night, and the psychic asked the educational assistant at that particular time if she works with a little girl by the name of "V." And she said 'yes, I do.' And she said, 'well, you need to know that that child is being sexually abused by a man between the ages of 23 and 26.'"
Victoria, who is non-verbal, had also been exhibiting sexualized behaviour in class, actions which are known to be typical of autistic behavior. (See other typical actions here) That lead authorities to suspect she had a bladder infection that may have somehow been related to the 'attack.'
So they reported her to the equivalent of Child Protective Services. To that agency's credit, they quickly determined that the school was full of shit:
And so a case worker came to the Leduc home to discuss the allegations of sexual misconduct, only to admit there wasn't a shred of evidence that anything had ever happened at all. They labelled Leduc a "diligent" mother doing the best she could for her child under difficult circumstances, closed the file and left, calling the report "ridiculous."
"It is highly unusual, I will admit, to have a case called in based upon what a psychic might say," concedes Sue Dale of the Simcoe County CAS.
The amazing part is that they not only relied on the word of a psychic, but on the word of a psychic who could only identify the first initial of the victimized child. Apparently this school does not teach Richard III:
Brother, good day; what means this armed guard
That waits upon your grace?
Tendering my person's safety, hath appointed
This conduct to convey me to the Tower.
Upon what cause?
Because my name is George.
Alack, my lord, that fault is none of yours;
He should, for that, commit your godfathers:
O, belike his majesty hath some intent
That you shall be new-christen'd in the Tower.
But what's the matter, Clarence? may I know?
Yea, Richard, when I know; for I protest
As yet I do not: but, as I can learn,
He hearkens after prophecies and dreams;
And from the cross-row plucks the letter G.
And says a wizard told him that by G
His issue disinherited should be;
And, for my name of George begins with G,
It follows in his thought that I am he.
These, as I learn, and such like toys as these
Have moved his highness to commit me now.
I have to ask . . . where do they find these people to teach? Do they advertise for teachers on late-night TV between commercials for Miss Cleo and exhortations to cut your hair with a fucking vacuum cleaner? Is there such a massive shortage of educators in the world that they have to hire ones with such crippling lack of judgment? Because really, if you are a teacher and start the sentence "The educational assistant who works with Victoria went to see a psychic last night . . . .", and you don't end that sentence with ". . . so I stopped letting her work with children and now she just cleans paste off the desks all day," then you and your superiors really need to evaluate whether you should be educating children, or whether you should abandon your career and make a living mowing lawns with a pair of left-handed safety scissors.
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