In spring a young man's fancy light turns to thoughts of love.
Whereas with waterfowl you get your fiberglass fetishists.
I refer, of course, to Petra, a swan whose love live is of intense interest to the residents of Munster, Germany. Petra has a long history of being in love with a "pedalo," which turns out not to be a sex offender played in the movie by Kevin Bacon but a pedal-driven swan boat. This Wagnerian love was interrupted when Petra took up with an actual male swan. But you know how these things turn out: odd duck is discontented with quirky life, has fling with squarejohn, realizes that life in his/her subculture is the right one after all. So the male swan dumped Petra — probably sick of being asked to let sticky children ride on his back — and Petra is back with her silent, utilitarian true love.
The world, my friends, is graciously determined to make me feel relatively normal. At least, as compared to a neurotic swan.
Last 5 posts by Ken White
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