…is that I am not required to monitor said child closer than Hannibal Lechter to assure that said hairstyle is not spoiled.
Katrina put Elaina into pigtails for the first time. I was then dispatched with Elaina on a shopping trip. I spent approximately three quarters of the shopping trip attempting to prevent Elaina from ripping the little bands out of her hair. It's harder than it sounds. It was distracting enough to thwart one of the main aims of my trip, which was to buy new clothing: I was sufficiently addled by my trichotillomaniac daughter to purchase underwear that would have fit me in approximately 1989. When I returned home, Elaina had one pigtial sprouting from one side of her head and one band was lost and presumed eaten, anticipated to be seen again in 12-24 hours. My wife informed me that the one-pigtail-from-the-side-of-the-head has not been fashionable (if it ever was) since the mid-1980s. She was deaf to my discussion of the value of retro.
Last 5 posts by Ken White
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