Dan & I went to see 10,000BC last weekend. It was predictably hilarious. It created a new scale of movie for me. You know a movie is so bad it's good when during the big plot twist at the end of the film, someone loudly says "That's bullshit!" Good times… Anyway, much after film discussion & laughing brought together this list:
Things 10,000BC Taught Me
- The Egyptians (who lived pretty close to a massive jungle, that was itself right next to a massive mountain range – thanks Pangaea!) used woolly mammoths to build the pyramids (about 8,000 years before history tells us they were making them!)
- There were 2 or 3 women in most tribes: 1 old wise woman, 1 hottie for all the men to fight over, and 1 precocious little girl. No wonder over population wasn't a problem.
- Ancient tribesmen came up with elaborate hunting schemes all designed to bring down one mammoth, which would then feed the tribe for the winter.
- Pharaohs were a lot like an older version of Xerxes from 300. Sort of the Vincent Price to his Liberace.
- Huge velociraptor like Dodos roamed the jungles, terrorizing everyone.
- Food was somehow plentiful enough to support 100s of warriors as they trekked through the desert.
- Egyptian prison camps had a Stalag 13 level of security (including being able to break in and out of them at will, and somehow hiding a blind eunuch in a pit under a blanket.
- African tribesmen invented the chili pepper.
- Dreadlocks were the low maintenance haircut of choice.
- Sabre tooth tigers are just misunderstood.
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