I submit this post to you at great personal risk. Should my counterpart realize that I am typing this up and putting it on the internet for all to see, I will be killed. I risk my life to entertain you with my own discomfort.
Unlike certain other nameless individuals that I know, my wife and I never really felt that it was necessary to instruct our children from the start with the technically accurate names for their "parts". Instead, harmony in my household was maintained through the use of a gender neutral word that described the basic purpose of the parts (as they know it). For them, it's the device that they pee out of, and they ended up borrowing the word "peeper" from their older cousins. As "peepers" and "bums" are their favorite things in the universe right now, it's slightly less embarrassing for them to use these "code words" when they shout them out in public.
However, in the past month or so, my wife decided that she must start instructing them on the technical terms for their nasty bits, and to begin differentiating man junk from woman junk. Ok. They're 6 and 4 years old, so they should be mature enough to process this information and understand that shouting "penis" or "vagina" in public isn't entirely appropriate.
Or not. I am working from home today as per the winter storm that is exacting God's continued punishment for those of us still living in the horrendous state of New Jersey. My 4-year old daughter just ran by yelling "I want a penis". I'm pretty sure she will do this in public, and I'm going to be sent to prison as a result.
Or my wife will find this post and have me killed. Either way, pray for me.