So I'm cruising the internet, minding my own business, when I stumble across this item:
Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's true, millenia of scientific achievement have transported us to the place where one can now purchase a cheeseburger in a fricken' can!!!! I mean, for real?!? A cheeseburger in a can? That's actually worse than a whole chicken in a can, which I had previously believed to be the pinacle of canned vileness. Did somebody set this up as some kind of European challenge? You know guys, we've let the Americans become the world leaders in sucking the nutrition, flavor, and joy out of food, and I don't think we should put up with that shit any more. I mean, we make really disgusting food, but it's okay, because it's normally fresh. But imagine a world where you can now purchase cannedhead cheese or blood sausage. Oooh, oooh!, you know what would really hurt them? We'll CAN a HAMBURGER! That will hit them where they live. SCREW YOU BUSH!!!!
I'm off to order some of these now to send as Christmas gifts to opposing counsel next year ….
Last 5 posts by Jesse
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