Today I bring you both holiday cheer and holiday woe, two sides of the same postal coin. Have you ever wondered if postal clerks are tempted to respond to children's letters to God or Santa? Well, yes, Virginia, they do. But postal clerks run the same gamut of sweet and sour notes as the rest of us.
First, consider this heartwarming story of God writing back to a little girl to assure her that her beloved dog, recently departed, is well:
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:
Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away. Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by. Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I am wherever there is love.
Doesn't that make you feel good? I'm sure it made that little girl's day. The postal clerk probably felt pretty good about doing it, too.
That's why what another postal clerk does under Santa's name seems so shocking:
"I told Maya: 'There's a letter from Santa just for you, let's read it'. We sat down on the couch, I opened the letter and began to read. My mouth dropped open: 'Oh, my god!' "
Each Santa letter Canada Post delivers contains the same main message with a hand-written personal postscript.
Maya's personal "P.S." said: "This letter is too long, you dumb s—."
"I went straight to Google, got the Canada Post number and called," said Ms. Da Costa. "A very nice lady at a call centre in Fredericton, New Brunswick, was shocked, and when I told her I also had a letter for Colton and was planning to let him read it when he got home, she said I should open it now just in case."
Ms. Da Costa went downstairs, picked up the letter and returned to the phone. What she read had both ladies gasping. "Oh, my god! Oh, my god!," they kept repeating.
The personal P.S. to Colton's letter read: "Your mom sucks d— and your Dad is gay"
All I can say is that postman-as-God is a much more pleasant correspondent than postman-as-Santa.
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