Recently Abby has been singing some religious songs she learned in Sunday School or possibly in her church-based preschool. This is fine and good in the abstract; she'll develop an interest in music, maybe join the choir this year, lay the foundation of faith, and while she's singing she probably isn't actively inflicting serious bodily harm on other children and/or pets.
The problem is not the singing or the source material. The problem is one of articulation.
See, Abby is not entirely clear on all of the lyrics of these songs. Thus she tends to mumble softly the parts she doesn't remember very well, and make up for it by really punching up the parts she remembers.
Abby: "mumble mumble thanks birdies food somethingsomething JESUS CHRIST! mumble thank you something etc."
The end result does not sound entirely devout, to be perfectly frank. It sounds less like children's choir practice and more like a David Mamet script.
It gets more awkward when she does it when I am talking to somebody, giving the appearance that I have a undersized, aggressive, and foul-mouthed posse. I'm like Gladys Knight if the Pips had been profane midgets. Case in point: two Sundays ago, when I went to the community center with Abby to do some early set-up for Elaina's party. We encountered a yoga class just about to start in the room we would be using later that day. Abby was tagging along behind me and singing softly to herself.
Me: Excuse me, I'll get out of the way as soon as I get these tables out of storage.
Yoga teacher: No problem. Class doesn't start or another ten minutes.
Me: Great, thanks. How many people are in your class?
Yoga teacher: About ten. More people around here are getting interested in yoga!
Abby: Jesus CHRIST!
Yoga teacher: ….
Me: We'll just get out of your way now.
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