I have a particularly difficult client. Once I successfully filed an ex parte motion and got him something he wanted. In this context, ex parte simply means not on a normally noticed motion (filed and served 21 days in advance of hearing, opposed 14 days before, reply 7 days before, etc.), but on an emergency basis, filing it the day you show up to argue the motion (with notice to the other side the day before about what you were going to do).
Now client thinks that "ex parte" is magical. He uses it all the time, sort of the way one would use "old school!" or "fuckin' A!", and sometimes to convey "without any appreciable basis in law, fact, logic, or the laws of physics."
Hence: "I want you to go in EX PARTE and get the court to rule that the other side is wrong and they have to settle for the amount I am offering!"
"I want you to get this case dismissed tomorrow! Ex parte!"
"I want you to get an ex parte saying that the plaintiffs are incompetent and should be put into protective custody!"
"Just tell the court to do it! EX PARTE!"
I have learned my lesson. Will never tell him a legal term again.
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