Only cavemen and troglodytes believe that the Tenth Amendment to the United States Constitution has any meaning.

For those of you who weren’t home-schooled, the Tenth Amendment is a legal fiction.  Most historians call it an inkblot which James Madison tried unsuccessfully to wipe away from that precious parchment.  Some superstitious types see this when they read it:

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

These are the same sorts of people who see images of Jesus on taco shells, or drug-induced visions of UFOs in the wilderness.

So of course, the Honorable Joseph L. Tauro, of the Federal District Court of Massachusetts, couldn’t have meant it when he wrote today:

This court has determined that it is clearly within the authority of the Commonwealth to recognize same-sex marriages among its residents, and to afford those individuals in same-sex marriages any benefits, rights, and privileges to which they are entitled by virtue of their marital status … The federal government, by enacting and enforcing [the Defense of Marriage Act], plainly encroaches upon the firmly entrenched province of the state.

Because that sounds an awful lot like saying that the Commonwealth of Massachusetts has a power, reserved to it alone, to regulate marriage among its citizens.  Which plainly cannot be true.

For what it’s worth, I agree with Judge Tauro’s holding, but I can’t imagine how he could be correct in saying that a state, or individual people for that matter, has some power upon which the federal government cannot encroach without concluding that the Tenth Amendment actually exists, and means something.

Help me out here people.  I can’t make head nor tail of what this Judge has written: commonwealth massachusetts v health and human services DOMA decision and gill v OPM DOMA decision

Mr. Sulu ties the knot, with Mr., umm, I guess Sulu.

Utterly non-flippant congratulations to George Takei and Brad Altman.  My feelings about George Takei are similar to those of my co-blogger Derrick.

Wayne Gibbs, of Georgia, has been punished to the tune of $150,000 because he didn’t marry RoseMary Shell after he discovered that she is a vampiric leech.

RoseMary Shell said she moved to Hall County from Florida, leaving behind a high-paying job, to join Wayne Gibbs. She also said that she has suffered emotionally and financially since their break-up in 2007.

Gibbs said he paid off $30,000 of Shell’s debt during their engagement and also took her on trips. When he found out Shell had even more debt, he canceled the wedding. He notified her by leaving a note in their bathroom.

Cruel and crass without a doubt. Gibbs should have confronted Shell like a man rather than running away like a coward. But he also shouldn’t have married her. With that level of debt, the marriage would be on a fast track to failure anyway. But, but, but again, she also was better off not married to Gibbs, who (duh!!!) didn’t love her after discovering that she was a vampiric leech.

Presumably the jury would have preferred Gibbs to have married Shell, then separated and initiated divorce proceedings the next day, before they could accumulate marital assets, property, and debts.

Whatever the wrongs and the rights, God will balance it all out in the end.

Texas State Representative Warren Chisum (R-Sanctity) is looking to require a mandatory two year waiting period for divorces. Unless, of course, couples are willing to attend a special ten hour course that I’m guessing somehow convinces them to butch-up and try harder. Similarly, his proposal would increase the cost of obtaining a marriage license from $30 to $60, unless the couple attends an eight hour course first – then the fee is waived. I would hope there’s some basic accounting lessons taught during those eight hours. Like maybe something about how unfunded mandates, err home projects, cause fiscal strain?

Remember folks, marriage is serious business.

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When you get married, don’t elope.  Don’t do it before a major holiday either.  We did this, and while it seemed right at the time because we were young radicals, in the end I regret that the experience wasn’t shared with our families, who’ve been good to both of us.

But if you must, one advantage is easy reservations on anniversaries.  I just scored the best table in the best restaurant in the state, a multiple James Beard award winner for cuisine and for bakery/dessert, for our fast-approaching ninth.  On almost zero notice.

I shall food-blog soon.