Wow.  This will merit some further analysis, so I'll try and tear my self away from The Old Republic long enough to write something more substantial.  But the short narrative:  MidClassMitt had every advantage but attacked the expansion with the wrong unit mix (especially since AggiesFanWWJD unexpectedly dropped.  He gave TheGrinch the sad remnants of his stuff, but who gives a shit).   TheGrinch, already in full on "eff you" mode, countered him perfectly.

It's all econ, and MidClassMitt is still hands down the guy to beat, especially now we're out of the Early Game and into the Mid.  You can't win on early rush cheese anymore.  Now you actually need to play.  And MidClassMitt has by far the most cohesive strategy.  TheGrinch (the closest challenger at this point) has clearly been slapping his shit together with spit and wishes.  We'll see if he can pull it together; you can't just select all your units and attack-move them to some random expansion anymore.  But this game has suddenly become very interesting.

MidClassMitt took the New Hampshire expansion easily.  It's looking like it's all down to the South Carolina expansion.

It's the last gasp for many players,  so expect a lot of aggression and a LOT of cheese.  I anticipate that only AtlasFan (resources), ZhouYu (possible map advantage), and TheGrinch (sheer spite) will remain as serious players after this. 

Some people argue that Iowa would be a proper expansion.  Not really.  Iowa is closer to a Xel ' Naga Watchtower on a map.  So while it's important, it's not a silver bullet.  All it really does is give clarity to the map.  And sometimes it reveals jack.  Now New Hampshire, that's a proper expansion.  Whoever captures THAT is going to have a pretty big resource boost going into the other fights.  (Nerd Note: Every side has a "natural expansion"; one that is close by, easy to set up another base collecting resources.  I'm not really counting that when I talk "Expansions" -D )

Bravo to [GOP]Santorum, who threw everything into a super early ALL-IN strategy to secure the Watchtower, even including some workers in his push.  What did we learn people?  What happens when you pursue a early RUSH strategy; what is sacrificed?  Answer:  Your Economy, stupid.  The question now, for him, is whether he can get his econ up in time to really compete.   And guess what, MidClassMitt, who's economy is better than ANYONE else in the game (and who just got the tacit forum support of [GOP]Mc41n, who knows the map better than anyone) got 2nd place (or tied for first, who gives a shit), when everyone was ready to give him the booby prize.  That's the bloody story, not about Santorum's sad attempt to undo the Greatest Google Bomb of All-Time.

For those interested in [GOP]'s intra-forum jihad, this isn't entirely unexpected.  While we need final numbers to bear out, I would SUSPECT that the WWJD sub-faction came out for Santorum, which is odd considering his disgusting tag.  I find it more interesting that AggiesFanWWJD didn't get any love; moreso because he put the WWJD tag in his name.  In any case, I think he needs to drop.

The forum slapfights are likely to be all about "winnability/electability".  Which reminds me of a similar argument a few years back.

YEARGH, never gets old

In other news, [GOP]TheGrinch is a whiny bitch.

[Ed. note: This post represents Derrick's latest attempt to explain American politics through Starcraft. It is not to be confused with his attempts to explain American politics through Dawn of War, or Patrick's attempt to explain it through World of Warcraft.)

It doesn't take a genius to know what the hell is going on with the [GOP] clain. One faction is (reluctantly) pleased enough with its prohibitive frontrunner, MidClassMitt. They feel that while he may be somewhat flawed as a person and as a player, he has the skills and drive to represent them and beat Obama. And god damn it, that's good enough. Another faction though, somewhat led by a small but loud group of disruptive assholes (who don't even post on [GOP]'s forums, choosing instead to congregate on the #GOP IRC channel and just bitch bitch bitch all day long), has been going fishing for anybody, anybody, who can provide a challenge (credible or not). But why? Who gives a shit? Clan Tag is Clan Tag right? INCORRECT.  

PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW

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Okay, I have to make a confession.  I am an AWFUL prognosticator.  Anyone who has played me in Fantasy Football can tell you that.  I'm pretty good at analysis after the fact, but when it comes to predicting future events, I'm bloody-effing-terrible.  Of course, there was one shining moment where I correctly predicted the result of the 2004 NBA finals game-by-game, but to be honest I was just trying to be funny since everyone and their mom was predicting the Lakers to win.

ANYWAY, that's my horrible excuse as to why I never followed up and wrote something about the Tea Party.  Because frankly, I became terrified that I would be wrong.  Or worse, not funny.  Plus, I forgot my password and was too embarrassed to ask for it.   In any case, I'm sure you're all confused.  To the casual observer, the Tea Party is a loose conglomerate of similarly minded and mildly racist individuals who have HIT THE POLITICAL SCENE LIKE A TIDAL WAVE OF PATRIOTIC DOUCHEBAGGERY.  But you're wrong!  It's really… okay, you might be right there.  But it's clear at this point that they are a very big factor, for obvious reasons.  So the big question is… how does one counter them?  We're not talking [DEM] people, that's for another article.  For me, the more intriguing question is, "How does one get out of the Republican Primaries without coming off as a little unhinged?"  IT'S AN ELEPHANT PARTY UP IN THIS.

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This is part II in a series.  For the introduction to the politics of Starcraft 2, see: The Return of Kekeke.

I’ve harped on this before, but I’ll do it again.  Real time strategy (RTS) games consist of two separate but equally important parts: Macromanagement (Dicking around in your base) and Micromanagement (Killing stuff).  You can have the greatest micro skills on earth, but if you can’t successfully manage the economy to make a decent army (or more importantly, to reinforce that army) you will never win. And of course, vice-versa.  This is very important to remember: they are two separate but equally important parts.  It’s all about maximizing economic efficiency and army savvy.  The best players are able to think quickly on their feet; the key isn’t the initial strategy or build order, but rather the adjustments on the fly.

This is exactly what makes the current Democratic regime so hilariously incompetent.

Oh no guys, watch out... he's put on the ANGRY EYES. QUICK! SOMEONE FORM A TASK FORCE BEFORE HE WRITES A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER.

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Hey guys! Remember two years ago?  Man that was such a crazy time.  A lot has happened since then.  Obama crushed McCain in the general election, the GOP decided to react like themselves, and angels descended upon us and we entered into the Fourth Age.  And then more STUFF began to happen.  And I know what the big question is: Derrick, why didn't you write anything about all this garbage?  Well, it didn't help that Games Workshop decided to be a big dick to their customers… again.  It just didn't feel right using Dawn of War 2 for anything, my game of choice.  But that all became irrelevant once a… better option appeared.  Let's do this.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Man invents $7,000 sex robot.

The picture really makes the article.  Tell me you aren't surprised a dude like that would've either A) killed his parents because they wouldn't let him raid in WoW anymore or B) use his advanced AI program to design a robot that you can hump.

I think we found the man to pull us through these tough economic times.

I'm back baby!

Movie Reviews

OKC Thunder's record in the NBA as of last night: 2-24 

OKC Thunder's TV ratings?  Worse than Seattle's.

Chesapeake Energy's stock price? 16 bucks.

Yes, HELL yes.

John McCain is a whiny bitch.

You know I can't set up a drinking game without keeping track of everything right?

PREPARE FOR INSIPID COMMENTARY.

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 vs

Everyone and their mom are doing presidential debate drinking games now.  But you all better remember the assholes who did it first.  THESE ASSHOLES.  Specifically, THIS ONE.  Most of those OTHER drinking games are merely articles proving that the author is witty; they aren't real drinking games.  "OH TAKE A SIP WHENEVER JOHN MCCAIN ROLLS HIS EYES. HAR HAR HAR".  I'll admit the games I devise can get a little verbose, but they're relatively easy to follow and they'll get you smashed. 

So we have Joe Biden vs. Sarah Palin.  From all accounts this looks like Tyson vs. McNeeley.  But hey, Sarah Palin has been in that weird debate camp for more than a week, so who knows.  Maybe she's mastered every single complex domestic and foreign policy issue since then.  I think the real challenge will be for Joe Biden to avoid looking like a gigantic douche.  Here's a tip, Senator Biden.  Watch the Gore/Bush debate.  The first one.  Over and over and over. 

Onto the drinkin'.  As usual, feel free to propose changes (I'm trying to cut down on the number of rules, so I've reduced the "candidate-specific" portions to just a few generalities) and my fellow writers here are free to edit as they see fit.

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Well well, so he DID show up after all.   Once again, full disclosure, I am an Obama supporter who has donated to his campaign.  I am… or rather WAS… a pretty big admirer of McCain's Luke Skywalker campaign in 2000 right before Rove crushed any sense of idealism I had, leaving only an empty husk of bitter cynicism.  Okay, it's Friday night… so what else to do except watch the FIRST MOTHERFUCKIN' PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE?!  I just came back from Mexico, so no live-blogging for this one.  But, as is tradition, I have crafted a drinking game, just for you assholes.  The last one (for Obama-Clinton) was way too elaborate.  So I'll just stick to some basics.  As usual, I invite my fellow bloggers to freely edit the rules as they see fit, and make comments regarding the actual debate, in the uh, comment below.

See the jump for the rules, now it's time to ditch you losers and play some Warhammer Online!  Remember, swearing is required, real talk about the issues is discouraged, and keep it orky.

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