That Claim Won't Fly
For my money, this is the best lawyer-to-lawyer letter of all time, involving, as it does, a millionaire throwing a porn star off a balcony into a swimming pool by – and I quote – "her vagina".
The issue apparently begins when the porn star grabbed the millionaire's shirt and alters her trajectory (something I'm pretty sure all the tutorials for Kerbal Space Program tell you not to do), thus breaking her foot during reentry.
The letter is from the lawyer of the tosser to the letter of the tossee.
I represent Dan Bilzerian and received your letter on behalf of Janice Griffith.
Like your client, the facts of the claim won't, quite, fly.
Maybe your client's theory is that Mr. Bilzerian negligently violated the established standard of reasonable care for one who throws a porn actor off a roof and into a pool during a photo shoot for an adult magazine.
I'll let that one sink in for a moment.
Far be it for me to cast aspersions on the editorial standards of Hustler magazine and "totalfratmove.com", but I'd say that there's a reasonable chance that the entire event (including the allegation of a broken foot, the initial demand letter, and the response letter) was staged.
Even if it's performance art instead of cinema verite, it made me laugh. Go read the whole thing.
Last 5 posts by Clark
- Culture Wars Are Fought with Memetic Bullets - July 18th, 2014
- Texas v. Johnson ... v. Berg - May 19th, 2014
- A Riddle Wrapped In a Mystery Inside an Enigma - May 16th, 2014
- That Claim Won't Fly - May 15th, 2014
- When Your Enemy Is in the Process of Destroying Himself, Stay Out of His Way - April 22nd, 2014