A Perspicacious Passover / Happy Easter

David Byron

Follow me on Twitter! @dcbyron

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13 Responses

  1. Have a happy and safe long weekend based on or not on religious beliefs from your readers in Australia.

  2. jamie says:

    is there any way to just receive updates from ken only? this kind of stuff just wastes my life, sorry… i really just dont care for stuff like this on a legal website. maybe i'm nitpicking, but i had to say it. thx.

    edit – what i mean is, is this a legal blog, or a religious blog? I'm not going to cater to both – get on board with one or the other. as a lawyers' son, i can honestly say nothing but Ken's posts are sheer drivel and a waste of life. thanks again.

  3. ZarroTsu says:

    It's a blog blog. A blog about blogging, like most blogs are wont to do.

  4. Ken White says:

    I'll solve the problem for you, jamie. Buh-bye.

  5. David says:

    It's not actually a poem about religion anyhow; it's a poem about structure and rearrangement….

  6. En Passant says:

    Buh-bye.

    Dang! I was hoping for responsive accordion accompaniment, properly phrased for a an Elizabethan sonnet of course; and performed from a stable platform appropriate for today's aging legal blogger demographic. Release of some crickets to terrify children would be a nice touch.

    I guess we can't have everything, but my life feels so wasted in unrequited anticipation. I'm sure that with enough determination and therapy I'll recover from the shock, since neither of my parents were lawyers, at least to the best of my knowledge and belief.

    PS — David, very fine internal rhyme with a soupçon of sprung rhythm; and a ripping volta, from poetica natura to poesie d'amore.

  7. Richard says:

    David, I must say, while I enjoy your poetry, this sonnet just didn't seem to flow as well as the Christmas one.

    Before I start being critical, I must say, the imagery is beautiful, and I love your word choices. They really give a nice mood and elegance to the poem.

    The problem is, I'm a bit of a formalist when it comes to my sonnets, and while the Christmas one broke from the meter a bit, this one did so more, and that jolted me a bit ("Chromatically whispering even" takes a moment to parse rhythmically, for instance). What jolted me more, though, was the last quatrain overflowing into the final couplet.

    I'm sorry. While I admire your ability to stray a bit from the meter (I find my own sonnets a bit rigid), stray too far and the reader has to pause to figure out how to parse the meter, and then you lose the flow, and, like a singer trying to hold a crescendo note and choking at the end, even though the problem does not occur throughout, the momentary flaw taints the appreciation of the whole.

    As I said, the imagery is lovely, but while, as a poem, it succeeds in calling to mind the change from winter to spring, I just can't appreciate it as a sonnet.

  8. En Passant says:

    Richard Apr 17, 2014 @9:05 am:

    … What jolted me more, though, was the last quatrain overflowing into the final couplet.

    I'm sorry. While I admire your ability to stray a bit from the meter (I find my own sonnets a bit rigid), stray too far and the reader has to pause to figure out how to parse the meter, and then you lose the flow, …

    On some scale of forms (ie: on my subjective scale of forms) between Shakespearean sonnet and free verse, I think it lies along the line toward Hopkins' sonnet The Windhover.

    And I think the last quatrain overflow's jolt emphasizes the thematic volta ("Meet me, thy mate").

    Read aloud, the meter flows smoothly. Silently, rationality's demand for parsing gets in the way.

  9. David says:

    @Richard, I agree with you that this one is less "pure", and more interruptive, than the one I posted around Christmas. I'm ok with that because that awkwardness is the price I had to pay to achieve the special relationships of form and, especially, vocabulary between the two.

    You did spot how they're related, right? :D

  10. David says:

    No reason to be coy, I guess. (I like puzzles, but they're not to everyone's taste.)

    The second poem is a strict rearrangement of the 100 words that constitute the first poem. The result is a second sonnet– or quasi-sonnet– with a different scheme and rhymes.

  11. En Passant says:

    The result is a second sonnet– or quasi-sonnet– with a different scheme and rhymes.

    The first is much more subdued, although I thought it illuminated the form, and still do. By comparison the permutation makes a difference akin to Mark Twain's distinction, "between the lightning bug and the lightning."

  12. David says:

    Good ol' MT. You're well versed in the Anglo-poetic tradition, En Passant. Job or hobby?

  13. En Passant says:

    Job or hobby?

    Hobby. Besides being illiterate in most languages, I am unlearned in most Anglo poetry. But I know a smattering of forms and poets, and maybe a few dirty poetic tricks.