I Am Thankful For This Bit Of Fun


Urban Ministries of Durham, a low-overhead charity devoted to assisting the elderly poor of Durham, North Carolina, has kicked off an interesting donation drive: naming rights for items that will assist their clients.

The items are many: toilets, canned vegetables, computers, a group meal donated by a local chef, a deodorant. Your naming options are virtually limitless. Name the item for your spouse, your child, your friend, your enemy, or someone you admire.

I donated the cost of a hygiene product, in the name of a prominent North Carolina politician.

Art Pope Adult Diaper of Infamy


The site allows you to advise the subject of your honor by email. You may inform your friends through Facebook or Twitter of your cleverness, or keep your good deed to yourself, taking private satisfaction in the knowledge that the Kathleen Sebelius Processed Meat Product of Managerial Incompetence is now a reality.

This is a clever use of social media, for a worthy charity. Why NOT brighten someone's day with the Anthea Butler Maxi-Pad of Supercilious Stupidity?


Now look what you people made me do:

John Steele Tampon of Stubborn Litigiousness

Last 5 posts by Patrick Non-White



  1. Black Betty  •  Nov 28, 2013 @2:54 pm

    Please tell me you actually did purchase the Anthea Butler Maxi-pad of Supercilious Stupidity? PLEASE…

    Because if you haven't, I will donate the cost of that product to your website just to make that happen.

  2. Patrick Non-White  •  Nov 28, 2013 @3:05 pm

    Why not donate to the Durham Urban Ministry, and make Dr. Butler's dream a reality, Betty?

  3. Black Betty  •  Nov 28, 2013 @3:24 pm


    I just went there. I'll wait to find out if Ken already donated. It's incredible cheap, so I can't imagine why he didn't. It's such a worthy cause and she's so deserving.

  4. ElSuerte  •  Nov 28, 2013 @3:39 pm

    I think you must have crashed their site with all the Popehat traffic. Link is loading way too slow. I like their gimmick, but I suspect it's kind of like those charities that let you buy a 'goat' for a starving family in Africa, but in reality, you're donating the cash equivalent to the charity for use in their development and relief funds. I kinda doubt they are really sticking 'ElSuerte Memorial Bog Roll' stickers on all the tolet paper.

    My parochial school did something similar. They auctioned off naming rights to various aspects of their real property, e.g. parking spaces, auditorium, ally behind the school. Believe it or not, the most coveted auction item was the pizza lunch in a limo with Sister Katherine, the principle.

    If the site is up later, I'll see if I can spare a little.

    Speaking of charity, for you gamers out there, EvE online is doing a PLEX for charity drive to aid the Philippines storm victims.

  5. ElSuerte  •  Nov 28, 2013 @3:42 pm

    Got the site to work. This is really cool. I'm going to show this to the boss of the soup kitchen I cook at. Maybe they can do something similar.

  6. Matt  •  Nov 28, 2013 @4:09 pm

    Aww, I don't think I see like a shovel we could name after Prenda Law, who don't seem to know when to stop digging…

  7. Rhonda Lea Kirk Fries  •  Nov 28, 2013 @4:10 pm

    Thank you for solving the problem of what to get my husband for Christmas.

  8. Patrick Non-White  •  Nov 28, 2013 @4:15 pm

    Matt: Scroll up!

  9. EdH  •  Nov 28, 2013 @4:23 pm

    What about the Paul Duffy Soap of Imminent Incarceration?

    I do hope he doesn't drop it…

  10. Patrick Non-White  •  Nov 28, 2013 @4:39 pm

    That's beautiful, EdH.

    I mean, it's actually pretty revolting, but I have a black sense of humor.

    "Everyone deserves a fresh start!"

  11. alexa-blue  •  Nov 28, 2013 @4:55 pm

    Here's the Richard Cohen Sliced Bread of Conventional Judgement. The poster claims it's all white.

  12. eigenperson  •  Nov 28, 2013 @5:02 pm

    I sure hope they had the foresight to have someone screen the ones that appear on the front page.

  13. ysth  •  Nov 28, 2013 @5:40 pm

    Just wanted to note that Art Pope's wikipedia page does not yet have any mention of this.

  14. Matt  •  Nov 28, 2013 @6:04 pm

    @Patrick – I chortled :p Well done.

  15. Demosthenes  •  Nov 28, 2013 @7:01 pm

    Just named an item after an old and hated professor.

    Y'know, charity does feel good!

  16. SPQR  •  Nov 28, 2013 @8:34 pm

    An extraordinary low form of humor, Patrick. Which of course is why I find it so hilarious.

  17. MrSpkr  •  Nov 28, 2013 @9:39 pm

    I just might have to purchase The Mark Lutz Bus Pass for Imminent Court Appearances.

  18. Dan Neely  •  Nov 28, 2013 @10:13 pm


    The way people are (ab)using it, i hope they screen them before delivery too.

  19. jerslan  •  Nov 28, 2013 @11:48 pm

    Patrick… You're a horrible person… A wonderful, delightfully horrible human being :) It's a good thing ;)

  20. Delvan Neville  •  Nov 29, 2013 @2:31 am

    Been trying to minimize commentary now that I'm on the books in some of these cases…but since it's all for charity, I just couldn't help myself just this once.

  21. MrSpkr  •  Nov 29, 2013 @7:36 am
  22. OrderoftheQuaff  •  Nov 29, 2013 @9:54 am

    I always wanted to endow a chair at my beloved undergraduate alma mater, and the state of my finances leaves no doubt that the chair will be made of porcelain.

  23. Sterling Archer  •  Nov 29, 2013 @2:40 pm

    I just honored my boss with some jeweled beads of anal insertion.

  24. Rachel  •  Nov 30, 2013 @5:40 am

    I bought the naming rights to the Teabagger Adult Diaper of Banjo and Brain Protection