Mutants. Secret Society members. Communists. Baby deer.

Effluvia

In other news, someone brought an baby deer that had been abandoned by its mother to a no-kill animal shelter in Wisconsin.

The no-kill shelter placed a few calls, found a licensed wildlife refuge that would take the baby, and kept the animal in their fenced wooded facility for two weeks until the slot opened up at the refuge.

But, thankfully, this evil criminal conspiracy was stopped in its tracks. Thanks to brave government employees, aerial photos were taken, surveillance was performed, a SWAT team was assembled, and then nine agents of the Department of Natural Resources and four deputies "all armed to the teeth", raided the no-kill animal shelter.

And shot the baby deer and stuffed its corpse into a body bag.

Because, you see, the law forbids private possession of wildlife. And those villains at the no-kill animal shelter weren't going to send the deer to the licensed wild life refuge until tomorrow

Details.

Not that I'm criticizing. Oh, gosh, no! I am completely loyal, friend State. I would never question your dictates, second guess your wisdom, disagree with any of the tens of thousands of men and women that you equip with body armor, submachine guns, assault vehicles, drug sniffing dogs, GPS surveillance, drones, court rulings providing exceptions to the fifth amendment, and more.

My loyalty is complete, friend State.

But that baby deer? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he was a mutant. Or at the very least, potentially diseased. Better safe than sorry, friend State.

Good call.

Last 5 posts by Clark

121 Comments

117 Comments

  1. Lizard  •  Aug 1, 2013 @8:58 am

    BAY-B-DER-2 will be back for revenge!

  2. alex  •  Aug 1, 2013 @8:59 am

    I honestly thought that article was going to be yet another (sadly) typical excessive use of force stories, right up until they killed the freaking deer. Talk about burying the lede…

  3. Luke G  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:00 am

    We had to destroy the deer in order to save it.

  4. Darryl  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:03 am

    Clark–I think you mean exceptions to the "Fourth" amendment?

  5. JT  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:03 am

    I'd have to say the state did the right thing here. If you let people start keeping baby deer willy-nilly, the next thing you know ZOMBIE BABY DEER APOCALYPSE and then you'll be begging for the Baby Deer Tactical Assault Team to come bail your ass out.

  6. Darryl  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:05 am

    "In certain circumstances, Wisconsin allows organizations to house wild deer but only with a state-issued permit."

    So, it really wasn't a fear of disease thing at all, merely that the State didn't get its cut?

  7. Phe0n1x  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:05 am

    BAMBI NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!1!

  8. Ken White  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:06 am

    Government is just a word we use for things people do together.

  9. BBnet3000  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:07 am

    Is there a reliable source for this story?

  10. Peyton  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:10 am

    If this would have been a pony it would have been completely justified to use such a force.

  11. Roho  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:11 am

    "Could you have made a phone call before showing up, I mean, that's a lot of resources," WISN 12 News investigative reporter Colleen Henry asked.

    "If a sheriff's department is going in to do a search warrant on a drug bust, they don't call them and ask them to voluntarily surrender their marijuana or whatever drug that they have before they show up," Niemeyer said

    Well, that puts it all in perspective. I feel safer already, knowing they can't tell the difference between a baby deer and a grow operation.

  12. Shane  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:14 am

    I love the comment from the sad sack Warden Supervisor

    Reporter: "Could you have made a phone call before showing up, I mean that is a lot of resources."

    Jennifer Niemeyer: "If the sheriffs department is going in to do a search warrant on a drug bust, they don't call them and ask them to voluntarily marijuana or whatever drug they have before they show up."

    You know cause snorting deer taint is a crime in 20 states. FFS how does this individual live with herself … ahhh right … she was just doing her job and following the rules.

  13. TomB  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:15 am

    Well, that puts it all in perspective. I feel safer already, knowing they can't tell the difference between a baby deer and a grow operation.

    I was just getting ready to post that quote, noting that the aerial surveillance and surprise armed raid was against the Society of St. Francis.

    Society. of. St.. Francis.

    Damn Franciscans.

  14. Shane  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:15 am

    @Roho

    Damn you :P … Jinx Jinx Jinx

  15. TomB  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:17 am

    Is there a reliable source for this story?

    You mean other than the television station that reported it with, you know, quotes and stuff?

  16. Dan Weber  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:19 am

    Yeah, right. Next thing you will tell me is that Steven Seagal worked with Sheriff Arpaio to drive a tank through the wall of someone suspected of having cockfights, and then the cops killed all the chickens.

    Oh.

  17. NE Patriot  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:25 am

    I suppose it's a good thing they didn't go and load a half a ton of garbage into the back of a VW microbus and then, with tears in their eyes, go and drive off into the sunset, to then dump that half a ton of garbage off the edge of a fifteen foot cliff, all done in four part harmony.

  18. L Nettles  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:26 am

    I'm unclear here, was the fawn making meth?

  19. Allen Garvin  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:27 am

    "If a sheriff's department is going in to do a search warrant on a drug bust, they don't call them and ask them to voluntarily surrender their marijuana or whatever drug that they have before they show up," Niemeyer said

    Of course not. The perps might have flushed the deer down the toilet.

  20. Nick  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:29 am

    You mean other than the television station that reported it with, you know, quotes and stuff?

    The television report that relied on quotes from shelter personnel for all the bits about 'SWAT Teams' and 'Armed to the teeth'? Yeah, other than that.

  21. Shawn Levasseur  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:29 am

    Maybe they mistook the deer for a pony.

  22. Jamie R  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:32 am

    I have a hard time believing this story. It was an animal shelter. There must have been dogs there, yet none of them were reported shot. I don't think the police were involved at all.

  23. Darryl  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:35 am

    Jamie, you clearly read too much Radley Balko.

  24. TomB  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:38 am

    The television report that relied on quotes from shelter personnel for all the bits about 'SWAT Teams' and 'Armed to the teeth'? Yeah, other than that.

    You might want to read further. There are quotes from the animal Gestapo too.

  25. TomB  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:40 am

    I'm unclear here, was the fawn making meth?

    Reading between the lines, the Franciscans were using the animal shelter to hide their meth lab, and the fawn was just a user.

    It's always the little guy that gets punished….

  26. Moriah Jovan  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:41 am

    Government is just a word we use for things people do together.

    But only when they love each other very VERY much.

  27. Aonghus  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:42 am

    I fear we are rapidly approaching the point where what is not forbidden is mandatory.

  28. nm  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:44 am

    @Allen Garvin
    I hate you. I was going to post that.

  29. Theodora Michaels  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:45 am

    If anyone is interested in contacting the DNR in order to lawfully (non-harassingly) express their opinion on this matter, I found contact information for Jennifer Niemeyer and her supervisor .

  30. TomB  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:51 am

    @Allen Garvin
    I hate you. I was going to post that.

    I'm pissed I missed it. It was just waiting to be said.

    Well taken, Allen, well taken.

  31. Another Woman  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:51 am

    Why is it that something approaching COMMON SENSE is never deployed by the frustrated Rambo-wannabes in stories like this? Under what circumstances does a report of a human-kept baby deer even REMOTELY resemble a situation requiring an armed SWAT team? At a place called the "Society of St. Francis"? ANYWHERE?

  32. Owen Culver  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:56 am

    Quote from the source article: "In certain circumstances, Wisconsin allows organizations to house wild deer but only with a state-issued permit."

    So the moral of the story is: If you want to save a wild animal, you must pay the state first for the privilege of saving the animal. Otherwise the state will show up with a SWAT team and murder the animal you were trying to save.

  33. deskmerc  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:56 am

    I can speak without fear of contradiction, friend Computer, that the deer in question was indeed a member of not only a communist conspiracy but was in fact the remaining leader of a terrorist cell and insurgent faction bent on destroying our peaceful Alpha Complex. The plans it had set in motion are foiled. It was only through the selfless sacrifice of my fearless team members who gave their lives that I could make this report in person and declare the threat neutralized. I ask only for the honor and privilege to be a member of such a fine unit of clones again to serve you, our Computer, who serves us.

  34. TomB  •  Aug 1, 2013 @10:03 am

    We may have found the "anonymous tipster".

    http://kenosha.fox6now.com/news/news/92355-contact-6-investigates-society-st-francis-animal-shelter-after-receiving-complaints

    To be honest, the owner of the shelter sounds like a piece of work, but it doesn't come close to excusing the excesses (or the execution) demonstrated by the state.

  35. Nick  •  Aug 1, 2013 @10:25 am

    You might want to read further. There are quotes from the animal Gestapo too.

    I did, they don't confirm anything but a) the agents came without warning, b) they killed the deer.

    Beyond that, nothing is substantiated about what went down beyond the comments of one of the interested parties. Given that what's confirmed isn't particularly controversial (killing the deer is the policy, we might disagree with that (I don't, we've got way more deer than the ecosystem can support, but I can see reasonable disagreement with that), but that's a general government policy argument and that's not what the article's arguing, and there's no compelling reason that the the agents need to call ahead to visit an establishment during business hours to conduct a standard interaction).

    So yeah, I'm looking for corroboration for the problematic actions. But thanks for playing with your snarky answer.

  36. Dirkmaster  •  Aug 1, 2013 @10:25 am

    I live for the day when one of these idiots like Neimeyer (where have I heard that name before?) who enforce "zero tolerance" (read no thought or common sense) has something terrible happen to them, and the perp just says "Hey, it's policy/the law/the fine print"

    Oh, and Paranoia was one of the funniest games I ever played.

  37. TomB  •  Aug 1, 2013 @10:36 am

    Beyond that, nothing is substantiated about what went down beyond the comments of one of the interested parties.

    Oh, for crying out loud. Here is a quote from the spokesperson for the DNR:

    "Could you have made a phone call before showing up, I mean, that's a lot of resources," WISN 12 News investigative reporter Colleen Henry asked.

    "If a sheriff's department is going in to do a search warrant on a drug bust, they don't call them and ask them to voluntarily surrender their marijuana or whatever drug that they have before they show up," Niemeyer said,

    They admitted using "a lot of resources", AND treating the entire situation as they would a drug raid. She denied nothing.

    What more do you want?

  38. Nick  •  Aug 1, 2013 @10:44 am

    The "That's a lot of resources" is a quote from the reporter, not the Sherrif's department. The drug bust quote (being monumentally tone deaf aside, since being monumentally tone deaf isn't actually something that gets you into trouble in this country, more's the pity) is a justification why they didn't call ahead, not an admission that they came with a SWAT team.

    So yeah, in no way does she admit the things you say she admits (at least within the quotes of the article). So, yeah, mostly just looking for corroboration from a second source beyond the shelter worker.

  39. StephenH  •  Aug 1, 2013 @11:06 am

    I really wanted the reporter to follow up with a question to the effect of, "So the DNR feels it is appropriate to respond to a baby deer with the same force as a drug bust?"

    I'm neither a lawyer, nor a Wisconsin resident, and do not know the specifics of Wisconsin law here, so I'll settle for asking: Does possession of wildlife carry the same penalties as possession of marijuana? What about other controlled substances?

  40. TomB  •  Aug 1, 2013 @11:06 am

    "That's a lot of resources" is a quote from the reporter, not the Sherrif's department.

    Yes, that explains the insertion of "WISN 12 News investigative reporter Colleen Henry asked."

    I would have thought that to be self-evident. Oh well.

    The drug bust quote is a justification why they didn't call ahead, not an admission that they came with a SWAT team.

    But the point is that the spokeswoman did not deny "a lot of resources" were used, even going so far as to excuse it by comparing it to a drug bust. I'm happy you are able to read minds, I'll stick with what's written.

    BTW, who in the article said, specifically, that they "came with a SWAT team"?

    So yeah, in no way does she admit the things you say she admits (at least within the quotes of the article). So, yeah, mostly just looking for corroboration from a second source beyond the shelter worker.

    What things are you looking for corroboration for?

  41. jtf  •  Aug 1, 2013 @11:09 am

    @TomB

    I agree she sounds like a bit of a dick, but to be fair it's quite common practice for rescue shelters to never agree to re-home an animal with someone who has given up one before. All the dog and cat rescue shelters I've ever seen, for example, will categorically refuse your applications if you ever admit to having surrendered or abandoned a pet in the past. Ditto with reputable breeders.

  42. En Passant  •  Aug 1, 2013 @11:28 am

    TomB wrote Aug 1, 2013 @10:03 am:

    To be honest, the owner of the shelter sounds like a piece of work, but it doesn't come close to excusing the excesses (or the execution) demonstrated by the state.

    From the kenosha.fox6now.com link you provided:

    "I have to sleep at night. I have to know that, when these animals leave here, they are going to a good place. I'm not putting them in the same garbage they were in before they got here. They can call as many Contact 6s and Katrina Cravys and the State of Wisconsin as they want, and that's the way it is," Schultz said.

    I like her attitude. Abused animals shouldn't be returned to their abusers.

  43. Jay  •  Aug 1, 2013 @11:34 am

    So, yeah, if you could just provide rock-solid proof of something nobody involved has in any way denied, that would be great.

  44. Ken Mencher  •  Aug 1, 2013 @11:38 am

    I don't get why they shot the deer…

    Couldn't they just have tranquilized it and brought it to an animal shelter until a spot opened up in a wildlife refuge?

  45. TomB  •  Aug 1, 2013 @11:47 am

    So, yeah, if you could just provide rock-solid proof of something nobody involved has in any way denied, that would be great.

    'Yea, but how do we really know that those guns were even loaded????'

  46. J.R.  •  Aug 1, 2013 @11:55 am

    What can one say? Insane. God, save me from those that want to "save" me.

  47. grouch  •  Aug 1, 2013 @12:04 pm


    I'm unclear here, was the fawn making meth?

    Ha! Nothing so mundane as that — the thing was breathing without a state permit!

  48. mud man  •  Aug 1, 2013 @12:06 pm

    @Ken
    Or just stood out of the way and let it go down as planned. Observed, if really necessary. But no, Something Must Be Done, always. Think of the children.

  49. Jenny  •  Aug 1, 2013 @12:17 pm

    "Couldn't they just have tranquilized it and brought it to an animal shelter until a spot opened up in a wildlife refuge?"

    They did tranc it…

    … so as to take it wherever they take animals to euthanize them.

    Professionalism. :/

  50. Shane  •  Aug 1, 2013 @12:18 pm

    @Ken Mencher

    Couldn't they just have tranquilized it and brought it to an animal shelter until a spot opened up in a wildlife refuge?

    They did tranquilize it at the St. Francis Shelter. Then they euthanized it.

  51. TomB  •  Aug 1, 2013 @12:20 pm

    Ha! Nothing so mundane as that — the thing was breathing without a state permit!

    Nothing of the sort. I saw nothing in the "news report" that said the fawn was NOT making meth. So it could have been.

    Sneaky fawns.

    and Franciscans.

    (to be clear, I don't even think they have anything to do with this place. I think they just use the name because he was cool with animals ((and nobody would EVER suspect St. Francis of making meth OR getting fawns hooked on it))

  52. Jack  •  Aug 1, 2013 @12:27 pm

    "Couldn't they just have tranquilized it and brought it to an animal shelter until a spot opened up in a wildlife refuge?"

    It was already at an animal shelter and a spot was open and it was scheduled to be brought to the wildlife refuge the very next day. It's all there in the article.

  53. Matthew Cline  •  Aug 1, 2013 @12:28 pm

    Yeah, I'm pretty sure he was a mutant.

    Not just a mutant, but a mutant commie traitor.

  54. Clark  •  Aug 1, 2013 @12:34 pm

    @jtf

    I agree she sounds like a bit of a dick,

    Back in the day, we'd call someone like her "an odd duck".

    …but that was before the Great Vowel Shift.

  55. Turk  •  Aug 1, 2013 @12:37 pm

    I love the part about the aerial photography. It does bring a song to mind:

    I want tell you about the town of
    Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got three stop
    Signs, two police officers, and one police car, but when we got to the
    Scene of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars,
    Being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to
    Get in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all kinds of
    Cop equipment that they had hanging around the police officer's station.
    They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
    They took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
    And arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
    One was to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach,
    The getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to
    Mention the aerial photography.

    You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant. Except venison.

  56. eyesoars  •  Aug 1, 2013 @12:53 pm

    Those brave SWAT team members: risking the dangers of wild animal diseases for the safety of the public.

    Sadly, it appears members of both the sheriff's office and the Wisconsin DNR came down with severe cases of foot and mouth disease.

    Please don't report possible animal-disease contagion problems on their behalf to the DNR… a 'get well' card might be more appropriate.

  57. Darryl  •  Aug 1, 2013 @1:01 pm

    I know in Texas we require deer hunting licenses. I hope those government employees had theirs.

  58. Duvane  •  Aug 1, 2013 @1:19 pm

    Ok, so I have to be the killjoy who points out that these "worried families" who don't know squat about wildlife need to stop "rescuing" these fawns. ("Mommy, mommy, look at the poor baby deer! He looks lonely!" "You're right, little Susie, we should do something.")Fawns don't ride in a pouch, and their mothers leave them on their own every once in a while. If its not being attacked by another animal, or standing mournfully over the body of a doe, its probably just fine. Leave it alone.

    That said, holy cow, what kind of crackpots does Wisconsin have in its DNR? Is that where all the nutjob wildlife agents go? Why the heck would they get the county mounties involved in a improper wildlife possession case? Unless somebody's buddy had some new police toys they wanted to play with. There are good practical reasons not to allow every doofus out there to just hang onto any wild animal they want, but this is ridiculous. This warranted one wildlife agent going out to ask about it, and when told that it would be transferred tomorrow, then they call back tomorrow to make sure it happened.

    Idiot kids with badges and guns happens, and its not defensible, but to me the worst part of this is that Niemeyer is defending these actions.

  59. Tam  •  Aug 1, 2013 @1:24 pm

    I, for one, am glad to know that they have already successfully rounded up all the real criminals in Wisconsin, and thus are forced to do stuff like this for make-work purposes, lest they further jack up the unemployment rate…

  60. earthclanbootstrap  •  Aug 1, 2013 @1:31 pm

    The Fake Pistols once asked, "Who Killed Bambi?"

    Thirty four years late, that question has finally been answered. Apparently, it was some fscking morons from Wisconsin DNR.

  61. JR  •  Aug 1, 2013 @1:39 pm

    Can't believe this hasn't been done by now.
    Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly

  62. quaxbi  •  Aug 1, 2013 @1:42 pm

    The baby deer wasn't on meth. They were waiting to harvest the sweet, sweet velvet from its future antlers.

  63. aczarnowski  •  Aug 1, 2013 @1:54 pm

    I'm having a hard time with the quotes. I keep seeing Doug Neidermeyer whenever I read the responses from Jennifer Niemeyer. It's uncanny.

  64. AlphaCentauri  •  Aug 1, 2013 @2:13 pm

    I'll be the contrarian. There is a problem with spongiform encephalopathy in mule deer in the west. (It's like mad cow disease, but for deer.) There are serious concerns that it will spread to white tailed deer in the east. At least in my state, there are laws against transporting deer from one area to another. They will call sharpshooters when the population is out of control in the city, but they won't tranquilize them and take them to rural area for hunting season.

    AFAIK, the only test to find out if an animal is infected is autopsy. And no one knows what happened to this fawn's mother.

    As far as coming armed, the article said the place had 90 dogs jammed several to a cage under poorly maintained conditions. It isn't unreasonable to be prepared for loose dogs if a staff member gets distracted by the DNR raid while a cage is unlocked.

  65. TomB  •  Aug 1, 2013 @2:41 pm

    There are serious concerns that it will spread to white tailed deer in the east. At least in my state, there are laws against transporting deer from one area to another.

    The fawn wasn't going to be released, it was going to a wildlife reserve, and considering the proximity of the 2, I don't see spread of disease as an issue. I also note that Neimeyer said nothing about transportation.

    As far as coming armed, the article said the place had 90 dogs jammed several to a cage under poorly maintained conditions. It isn't unreasonable to be prepared for loose dogs if a staff member gets distracted by the DNR raid while a cage is unlocked.

    "Hi, my name is officer Neimeyer with the DNR. It has been brought to our attention that you have a wild fawn in your possession. I will be coming by this afternoon to assess the situation. Please make sure all other animals are properly restrained. Thanks for your cooperation."

    If you don't treat people like dangerous criminals, the chance of bad things happening go way down (for proof see just about every dog shooting by police). There was absolutely no reason for a surprise raid.

  66. Pine  •  Aug 1, 2013 @2:50 pm

    Fun facts:

    It takes thirteen cops to kill a baby deer.

    It took about that many cops to kill Pablo Escobar.

  67. Tam  •  Aug 1, 2013 @2:52 pm

    "I'll be the contrarian. There is a problem with spongiform encephalopathy in mule deer in the west. (It's like mad cow disease, but for deer.) There are serious concerns that it will spread to white tailed deer in the east."

    Let's take that as a given. Let's further assume that the shelter was in the wrong and the DNR was in the right.

    Is there a reason this had to be done like it was a reenactment of the raid on the Bin Laden compound, rather than by a single guy in a Ranger Rick outfit with a clipboard and a .22?

  68. grouch  •  Aug 1, 2013 @2:55 pm

    Elsewhere…

    Google 'Pressure Cookers' and 'Backpacks,' Get a Visit from the Cops

    Is there a sure-fire way to tell the gubmint from the turrists?

  69. AlphaCentauri  •  Aug 1, 2013 @2:56 pm

    @Tam and TomB, what you're saying is absolutely right. I'm just willing to have an open mind about a situation that makes no sense on the surface. Who are the anonymous tipsters? Why would they report something like this? There may more to the story in regards to previous interactions between the DNR and the St. Francis Shelter, and they've lost patience with being diplomatic or with giving them a heads-up to have reporters or PETA demonstrators in attendance or whatever.

  70. Mark - Lord of the Albino Squirrels  •  Aug 1, 2013 @2:57 pm

    Anybody know how any of The Society of St. Francis' various libel/defamation suits are going?

    I found that they have threatened suit agains Yahoo, Citizens against Cindy, and at least one review writer. This being Popehat, I figured someone here might have better Google-fu for finding out about libel/defamation claims against internet speech than I do. If it helps, here is the letter sent to Yahoo (according to chillingeffects)
    https://www.chillingeffects.org/defamation/notice.cgi?NoticeID=21150&print=yes

    On a related note, is this the same Cindy Schultz as the one of Animal Lobby Inc. in Wisconsin? If so that would add another defamation/libel claim. Quite a record.

  71. Tam  •  Aug 1, 2013 @3:06 pm

    AlphaCentauri,

    "There may more to the story in regards to previous interactions between the DNR and the St. Francis Shelter, and they've lost patience with being diplomatic or with giving them a heads-up to have reporters or PETA demonstrators in attendance or whatever."

    If this was an attempt to avoid bad press, I don't think it worked out as planned. ;)

  72. C. S. P. Schofield  •  Aug 1, 2013 @3:10 pm

    @Ken;

    Government is just a word we use for *STUPID* things people do together.

  73. FlyingDogs  •  Aug 1, 2013 @3:57 pm

    @Nick,

    So we get that you want corroboration that a SWAT team was used.

    Don't you think that aerial surveillance and that someone staked out the property to make a visual ID of the perp dear qualifies this as "a lot of resources?"

    Just curious what falls within that qualifier in your view.

  74. FlyingDogs  •  Aug 1, 2013 @3:59 pm

    Apologies for the bold, should have been line breaks . . . .

  75. I was Anonymous  •  Aug 1, 2013 @4:18 pm

    Aonghus

    I fear we are rapidly approaching the point where what is not forbidden is mandatory.

    According to Quantum Mechanics, that's already true.

  76. Ken  •  Aug 1, 2013 @4:29 pm

    Lizard wins the internets. If BAY-B-DER doesn't get revenge, TEELA-O-MLY will get justice!

    Oh, and friend State? {finger}

  77. different Jess  •  Aug 1, 2013 @4:36 pm

    Keep in mind that these DNR/Conservation agent type people have very little to do outside hunting seasons, yet the state employs them the whole year 'round. It stands to reason they'd be down for taking out their frustrations on the local crazy cat lady.

    It's hard to imagine a shelter that wasn't run by a crazy person, taking in a fawn that had been "abandoned". People who know anything about animals know to leave fawns alone.

    I'm sure some moron will read this as a defense of what the DNR did. Don't be that moron.

  78. Salem  •  Aug 1, 2013 @5:01 pm

    Shame on Scott Walker for reducing the well-deserved salaries and modest pensions of these noble public servants.

  79. TomB  •  Aug 1, 2013 @5:02 pm

    @FlyingDogs To be fair, nobody in the article explicitly said that they were raided by a SWAT team, the quote was something like "it was like a SWAT team". But my point (and yours) stands, an incomprehensible amount of manpower and money was spent for a freaking baby deer.

  80. Duvane  •  Aug 1, 2013 @5:15 pm

    @different Jess That may be the most sarcastic extension pub ever. I like it.
    "What should I do if I find a fawn?" "Do not call a conservation officer. Officers know that fawns are being born."
    But won't the mother reject it after human contact? "She just spent 7 months carrying this fawn. A little human scent won't make her give it up."

  81. barry  •  Aug 1, 2013 @5:23 pm

    I'm just willing to have an open mind about a situation that makes no sense on the surface.

    It's 'Bambigate'. It may take years till the real truth comes out.. and the telemovie.

  82. Tam  •  Aug 1, 2013 @5:29 pm

    TomB,

    " To be fair, nobody in the article explicitly said that they were raided by a SWAT team, the quote was something like "it was like a SWAT team"."

    A lot of cops I know will protest "Oh, that wasn't SWAT! That was just (narcotics task force/fugitive task force/whatever)!" and don't seem to get that, to Joe and Jane Taxpayer, it doesn't matter.

    If it's dressed like SWAT and kicking doors like SWAT, then to the average voter, it's SWAT. If they don't stop throwing the entire BLACKHAWK! catalog at every pot bust, the baby's going out the window right behind the bathwater.

  83. SKT  •  Aug 1, 2013 @6:11 pm

    I'm pretty sure there is currently a war on fawns going on, people. Either you're with us or you're again' us. Can't have it both ways.

  84. phunctor  •  Aug 1, 2013 @6:32 pm

    "Is there a sure-fire way to tell the gubmint from the turrists?"

    Turristayeen usually don't have a second wave, with tanks. HTH.

  85. Mark - Lord of the Albino Squirrels  •  Aug 1, 2013 @7:52 pm

    @Barry

    "It's 'Bambigate'. It may take years till the real truth comes out.. and the telemovie."

    I hear it involves something called "twitterpating". Sounds communiss to me.

    Along those lines though…
    Cindy Schultz (the president of the shelter in this story) was the coordinator for Ross Perot's Wisconsin campaign organization back in the early nineties. This is not particularly relevant to anything; I just thought it was surreal.

    And this is the second time I've seen Popehat referring to Paranoia – really curious as to which secret society was Ken's or Clark's favorite.

  86. Allen  •  Aug 1, 2013 @8:13 pm

    Something similar happened where I live. A bear wandered down from the mountains and was hanging around some houses so the Fish and Game people were called in. They tranquilized the bear and took him off, presumably back to the mountains.

    Someone followed up with the Fish and Game people and were told, no we put the bear down. When asked why the heck they did that this was their response:

    "We couldn't release the bear because some hunter might shoot it and then eat the tranquilizer tainted meat."

    I thought that must be one hell of a tranquilizer since bear season was 4 months off.

  87. Tam  •  Aug 1, 2013 @8:48 pm

    Allen,

    "I thought that must be one hell of a tranquilizer since bear season was 4 months off."

    Even poachers can hire ambulance chasers. This is America, after all. ;)

  88. grouch  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:24 pm

    If a bear wanders near my house, I'll do my best to obtain a rug and a freezer full of dog food from the visit. The SWAT team can get their own.

  89. I Was Anonymous  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:27 pm

    Are we sure it was a baby deer and not a baby pony?

    Because, let's face it… if it was a pony, then it was well-deserved.

  90. UlrikeDG  •  Aug 1, 2013 @9:37 pm

    @grouch – I did a mouseover of that link before clicking to make sure it wasn't a Rickroll style "Let Me Google That For You" link.

  91. grouch  •  Aug 1, 2013 @10:28 pm

    UlrikeDG,
    Sorry. I should've made it a plain text URL.

    That story has been updated since that link:

    Suffolk County Criminal Intelligence Detectives received a tip from a Bay Shore based computer company regarding suspicious computer searches conducted by a recently released employee. The former employee’s computer searches took place on this employee’s workplace computer. On that computer, the employee searched the terms “pressure cooker bombs” and “backpacks.”

    No NSA/FBI/DHS/Bambi Assault Team spying. Mystery solved.

  92. barry  •  Aug 2, 2013 @12:54 am

    @Mark – Lord of the Albino Squirrels
    And I hear the communiss never drink water !
    "The Deer Who Knew Too Much"
    v1PbQGpBF5n3F9856jFp7thn4fBK4mNMBRUv32Js6ooqP3o6kAyITCes4ptYRgvEQrBbCSnfx9LW9qJUtYiWRyyVSednJ9DKHdC297tZwpIF6pxLSrrTGWQcM7hM9YoGnzrfB0IeNXcdGPuIVPOoa2pDOo8in1VTTyYYNWMrJO2SZJCGrmYbZVisSS6nAMHtMgT3ISxtB2CDe3W6dFs663Fq9caIBrAguKD5cdgKaukJTywRpzrvfeqy0zRGJqdY2JpH3OTyWqAX5FdZpQsrtihqGejyOFKdyJNbLIXeGgqT8rCytBE1sk4yS4UVrH5uaZRdHhd3A4495uaDxslRGgYBVriqdGAq79AnxG5EVptlK9fJ0kH5ysbaah6lnCWB2Q4d6VQ32YITxK1tMtjZcS3sbMtOvLhlOsbAIlcrer5wMvfcHk7jmo6cilMLW6V1TFk2JhgPI8I3rj6Mm5hR4X63JB6R2

  93. Doc-R-Gun  •  Aug 2, 2013 @4:58 am

    If you had joined Corpore Metal already you would be finished with this foolish 'deer' nonsense.

  94. CTD  •  Aug 2, 2013 @6:34 am

    I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

  95. Tam  •  Aug 2, 2013 @8:07 am

    To paraphrase somebody in my comments section, the next time somebody gives me that "You don't need an assault weapon or a 30-rd magazine to hunt deer!" I'm going to point out that not only do I need one, but I also need twelve other friends with ones of their own, just to get one deer. (And a baby one, at that.)

  96. deadcenter  •  Aug 2, 2013 @8:57 am

    The deer was a mule, its GI tract packed from stem to stern with heroin balloons, thus explaining the over the top SWAT response and 'drug raid' analogy from the clueless law enforcement PR flack trying to spin the story back on track.

  97. babaganusz  •  Aug 2, 2013 @9:35 am

    really curious as to which secret society was Ken's or Clark's favorite.

    *gasp*
    what disrespect to Grandy, Patrick, David, and… whatever other allegedly discrete entities partake of this glorious forum!
    IMAO, a poll of all P'hat mods, anonymized, would be the best take. Cold Fun for all loyal subjects!

  98. En Passant  •  Aug 2, 2013 @11:53 am

    … really curious as to which secret society was Ken's or Clark's favorite.

    My bet's on M.I.T.R.E., a little known James Bond nemesis organization from the cold war daze, Mission IgnonymousTo Rule Earth.

    Recently discovered training videos reveal their techniques.

    Caution: not for the faint of heart or children. Probably SFW though.

  99. barry  •  Aug 2, 2013 @12:59 pm

    ..really curious as to which secret society was Ken's or Clark's favorite.

    I googled and found several lists of 'top 10 secret societies', but can't help thinking that any society that made the list might be having problems with the concept.

  100. TomB  •  Aug 2, 2013 @1:37 pm

    The deer was a mule

    Was he any relation to Gary Mule Deer?

    If so, I change my vote to "kill the little bastard".

  101. NickM  •  Aug 2, 2013 @5:10 pm

    Which is correct: Deer is a gateway drug, or deer are a gateway drug?

  102. Mark - Lord of the Albino Squirrels  •  Aug 2, 2013 @9:36 pm

    @babaganusz
    "*gasp*
    what disrespect to Grandy, Patrick, David, and… whatever other allegedly discrete entities partake of this glorious forum!"

    No disrespect intended, it's just that Ken and Clark are the only ones I've seen referencing Paranoia.
    Of course that *could* be intentional – as cover. Or maybe the others are referencing it telepathically! I should have known. Dang Psions…

    @En Passant
    "My bet's on M.I.T.R.E., a little known James Bond nemesis organization from the cold war daze, Mission IgnonymousTo Rule Earth."

    Been a while since I've seen that vid :) C.apitalist L.iaison to A.narchy and R.ampaging K.aiju perhaps? I've said too much…

    @Barry
    "I googled and found several lists of 'top 10 secret societies', but can't help thinking that any society that made the list might be having problems with the concept."

    Did you turn on the fnord filter? That might help, unless google has finally fallen to the FCCCP….

    Have a good weekend, everyclone!

  103. barry  •  Aug 3, 2013 @2:08 am

    @Mark – Lord of the Albino Squirrels, We don't fnord here at K.A.O.S.

  104. babaganusz  •  Aug 3, 2013 @4:18 pm

    Of course that *could* be intentional – as cover.

    i was hoping you'd come around… *secret pseudopodshake*

  105. Careless  •  Aug 3, 2013 @5:05 pm

    If its not being attacked by another animal, or standing mournfully over the body of a doe, its probably just fine. Leave it alone.

    And if it is being attacked by another animal, or standing mournfully over the body of a doe, leave it alone. It's a deer.

    I don't get why they shot the deer…

    Couldn't they just have tranquilized it and brought it to an animal shelter until a spot opened up in a wildlife refuge?

    It's a deer.

    It's hard to imagine a shelter that wasn't run by a crazy person, taking in a fawn that had been "abandoned".

    Indeed, and that gets me to what it seems no one noticed was the least plausible part of the story: the claim that this faun, which had apparently been there for weeks, was the next day going to go off to a wildlife refuge in Illinois that "rehabilitates deer"

  106. Careless  •  Aug 3, 2013 @5:18 pm

    not that there aren't places that do that. They're not wildlife reserves, but nuts with foundations that save squirrels and other random, plentiful animals

  107. RE Garrett  •  Aug 4, 2013 @9:00 am

    This is absolutely disgusting! Every Wisconsin resident who feels that this is disgusting should take their small children to the Capitol in Madison, and, with TV cameras running, force their way into the Governor's office and ask him to explain to the children why the State of Wisconsin kills baby deer!

  108. grouch  •  Aug 4, 2013 @9:31 am

    "[...] force their way into the Governor's office and ask him to explain to the children why the State of Wisconsin kills baby deer!"

    'Well, you see, we can't pay these officers a living wage after our cronies finish dipping from the public trough, so we use the old "wages and found" payment model — if they find it, they can eat it. Think of the poor, starving children of these self-sacrificing public servants!'

  109. Careless  •  Aug 4, 2013 @11:44 am

    Completely Poe's Law-ed by RE G's comment

  110. Incongruent  •  Aug 4, 2013 @10:03 pm

    How is a deer not like a pony? Huh? JUST LIKE A PONY.

    KILL THE DAMN DEER.

  111. Richard Stubbs  •  Aug 4, 2013 @10:19 pm

    So by changing Department of Natural Resources to Do Not Resuscitate, they get to keep all the monograms, right? Cheap bastards.

  112. Anony Mouse  •  Aug 4, 2013 @11:10 pm

    ask him to explain to the children why the State of Wisconsin kills baby deer!

    Because they're deer? It's not like this is a critically endangered species. One less four-legged bastard to jump out in front of your car in the middle of the night.

  113. Ultraviolet admin  •  Aug 5, 2013 @4:13 pm

    It's obvious that this was no true game of Paranoia, as there were survivors to give a different story than the trouble shooters.

  114. En Passant  •  Aug 5, 2013 @6:48 pm

    RE Garrett wrote Aug 4, 2013 @9:00 am:

    This is absolutely disgusting! Every Wisconsin resident who feels that this is disgusting should take their small children to the Capitol in Madison, and, with TV cameras running, force their way into the Governor's office and ask him to explain to the children why the State of Wisconsin kills baby deer!

    Well, the WI DNR is certainly taking a major pounding from comments on their Facebook page. Not all the derogatory comments are about killing Bambi so much as about using a SWAT approach when one officer simply asking the shelter owner would do just fine; unlawfully taking cellphones from witnesses and deleting photos of the raid; and generally behaving like asses.

    I found that out at U. WI con law professor Ann Althouse' blog (althouse.blogspot.com).

    Here's the URL: https://www.facebook.com/WIDNR

  115. En Passant  •  Aug 5, 2013 @7:38 pm

    And, almost forgot — Here's a link to the draft WI DNR Illegally Held Wildlife Response Procedures For Staff memorandum from March of this year:

    http://dnr.wi.gov/about/nrb/2013/March/03-13-5B1.pdf

    A commenter on the WI DNR facebook page found it. It's worth reading just to laugh (or become enraged) at how closely the DNR "followed procedure" in their raid on the no-kill shelter.

  116. I Was Anonymous  •  Aug 5, 2013 @8:03 pm

    @En Passant

    Based on my (very quick) reading, they completely ignored all of section IV.C.4 (Deer)

  117. Shane  •  Aug 6, 2013 @3:58 pm

    I bet it had some crazy form of lyme disease that they didn't want us to know about.

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