I am free. Are you free?

Politics & Current Events

viaangusI am free. I was born that way. Free as the wind blows. Free as the grass grows. You know the song.

Each day I leave my stall and roam the field. I eat. I watch the trains go by. I swat flies.

The sun makes it bright, and the clouds make it not so bright. The moon makes it night.

I feel safe in the field and safe in my stall. I feel that way since I know the man will take care of me. I am free to need the man, and the man likes me and gives me what I need.

The man was there when I was a calf. He is still there. The man brings feed and pours drink. He takes milk from the cows. He leaves nuts here and there in the field so more grass will grow.

This is a good deal but some cows and bulls must think it is a bad deal. One day some cows and bulls were gone. (One day I saw a cow slip in the mud by the fence near the trees, but that is not the same.)

I did not see them go, but I think they walked off. Why would they do that?

Look! A bird.

Last 5 posts by Via Angus

29 Comments

29 Comments

  1. Richard Fleming  •  Jul 31, 2013 @7:37 pm

    Moooo!

  2. Clark  •  Jul 31, 2013 @8:11 pm

    Some animals are more equal than others.

  3. Tom  •  Jul 31, 2013 @8:13 pm

    Some posts are more equal than others.

  4. Cloudscout  •  Jul 31, 2013 @8:20 pm
  5. haluci1  •  Jul 31, 2013 @8:24 pm

    The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
    He makes me down to lie
    Through pastures green he leadeth me the silent waters by
    With bright knives he releaseth my soul
    He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places
    He converteth me to lamb cutlets
    For lo,m he hath great power and great hunger
    When cometh the day we lowly ones
    Through quiet reflection and great dedication
    Master the art of karate
    Lo, we shall rise up
    And then we'll make the bugger's eyes water.

  6. Hughhh  •  Jul 31, 2013 @8:37 pm

    Best guest post ever.

  7. Syd  •  Jul 31, 2013 @8:55 pm

    Roger? Is that you?

    You might have prefaced your psalm:

    What do you get for pretending the danger's not real?
    Meek and obedient you follow the leader
    Down well trodden corridors into the valley of steel.

    What a surprise!
    A look of terminal shock in your eyes.
    Now things are really what they seem.
    No, this is no bad dream.

  8. Craig  •  Jul 31, 2013 @9:47 pm

    You are free to continue believing you are free up to the moment they ship you off to Gitmo or Bagram.

  9. Grifter  •  Jul 31, 2013 @9:48 pm

    Oh, Via Angus, I can never find fault with your eloquence, your wisdom, your soulful, astute pithyness.

  10. Xenocles  •  Jul 31, 2013 @10:08 pm

    I always thought that "shepherd" was an odd analogy to make for a leader or a god, considering where the shepherd is ultimately leading each member of his flock.

    The "turkey problem" put forth by Nassim Nicholas Taleb is also apropos.

  11. gramps  •  Jul 31, 2013 @11:29 pm

    Based on Mr Angus' photo, the "converteth me to lamb cutlets" is one neat trick. Mr. Haluci1, your comments?

  12. G Thompson  •  Jul 31, 2013 @11:37 pm

    I present for your terror…

    Cows with Guns [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwBFkT_KZr8 ]

    We will fight for bovine freedom
    And hold our large heads high
    We will run free with the Buffalo, or die…
    Cows with guns

  13. G Thompson  •  Jul 31, 2013 @11:39 pm

    And because it's Pope hat… where equine and bovine equality is paramount with much at stake (bad pun)

    PONIES WITH GUNS…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4Ra1523f04

    Warning: cannot be unseen

  14. Luke  •  Aug 1, 2013 @5:40 am

    Hmm…What may we infer from the server for naderlibrary.com crashing and suddenly we get a post from the master of the Illuminati, Via Angus about being free?

  15. Matt  •  Aug 1, 2013 @6:13 am

    Cloudscout:

    I'm free!

    (loves me some Are You Being Served?)

  16. Deathpony  •  Aug 1, 2013 @7:41 am

    So…whats your beef then?

  17. Derrick  •  Aug 1, 2013 @7:45 am

    Carpe Bovine!

  18. Via Angus  •  Aug 1, 2013 @7:55 am

    @Luke
    Do not blow my cover. I watch you.

  19. Renee Jones  •  Aug 1, 2013 @8:18 am

    So, if Mr Angus thinks he is free, does he taste better?

  20. AlphaCentauri  •  Aug 1, 2013 @10:06 am

    Mr. Angus may be free, but Kobe-San gets beer and massages.

  21. En Passant  •  Aug 1, 2013 @10:30 am

    Nice opening for Munro Leaf's The Story of Ferdinand as Soylent Green.

  22. Dr Paseve Agressive  •  Aug 1, 2013 @11:49 am

    You subversive fool. When the overlords arrive to harvest our apendixes to smear on garlic crackers Your death will not be quick and painless. It will be slow and without mercy.

  23. jdgalt  •  Aug 1, 2013 @6:19 pm

    Sounds like you're off your meds.

  24. Andy  •  Aug 2, 2013 @12:36 pm

    This would not happen in Diablo 2's Cow Level!

    (Beef. It's what's for dinner!)

  25. Drumwaster  •  Aug 4, 2013 @11:14 am

    "It's a cookbook!"

  26. gsebes  •  Aug 4, 2013 @6:07 pm

    Brings to mind the scene in "Hitchhikers Guide", at the restaurant at the end of the Universe, where the "Engineered" cow is brought to the table and suggests to the customers which parts of him will taste the best.

  27. Solgardener  •  Aug 5, 2013 @6:59 am

    Cows with Guns
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI

    Fat and docile, big and dumb
    They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
    Cows aren't fun

    They eat to grow, they grow to die
    They die to be eaten at the hamburger fry
    Cows well done

    Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
    No one imagined the great cow guru
    Cows are one

    He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
    He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
    Cow Tse Tongue

    He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
    He felt like an outcast, alone, in the herd.
    Cow doldrums

    He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
    Cows gathered around, cause the stakes were so high
    Bad cow pun

    But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
    Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
    Cows are bummed

    He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
    No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
    Cows with guns

    They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
    He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
    Cow well hung

    Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
    Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
    Run cows run!

    He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
    We are free roving bovines, we run free today

    We will fight for bovine freedom
    And hold our large heads high
    We will run free with the Buffalo, or die…
    Cows with guns

    They crashed the gate in a great stampede
    Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
    Cows have fun

    Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
    Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
    Much cow dumg

    Black smoke rising, darkening the day
    Twelve burning McDonald's, have it your way

    We will fight for bovine freedom
    And hold our large heads high
    We will run free with the buffalo, or die
    Cows with guns

    The President said "Enough is Enough!
    These uppity cattle, it's time to get tough"
    Cow dung flung

    The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
    Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
    Cows on buns

    The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
    They mooed their last moos,
    They chewed their last hay
    Cows out-gunned

    The order was given, turn cows to Whoppers
    Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
    But on the horizon, surrounding the shoppers
    Came the deafening roar, of chickens, in choppers!

    We will fight for bovine freedom
    And hold our large heads high
    We will run free with the buffalo, or die
    Cows with guns

  28. Lt. Greyman, 21st Bell (The Blackjacks) NVA  •  Aug 5, 2013 @7:26 am

    Sadly, it also means that the unruly cows, those that have notice the barbed wire, the prods and the one way exit will be the first to go. Can a population be bred to accept chains so soon after the pioneer spirit? Can TWMNBN be so effective in their propaganda that Whites will sit in their couch, munching their Doritos and beer till the steel piston descends?

  29. GreenKnight  •  Aug 5, 2013 @7:30 pm

    So 90% of the country is literally made up of cowboys and cowgirls?