I am free. Are you free?

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29 Responses

  1. Richard Fleming says:

    Moooo!

  2. Clark says:

    Some animals are more equal than others.

  3. Tom says:

    Some posts are more equal than others.

  4. haluci1 says:

    The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
    He makes me down to lie
    Through pastures green he leadeth me the silent waters by
    With bright knives he releaseth my soul
    He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places
    He converteth me to lamb cutlets
    For lo,m he hath great power and great hunger
    When cometh the day we lowly ones
    Through quiet reflection and great dedication
    Master the art of karate
    Lo, we shall rise up
    And then we'll make the bugger's eyes water.

  5. Hughhh says:

    Best guest post ever.

  6. Syd says:

    Roger? Is that you?

    You might have prefaced your psalm:

    What do you get for pretending the danger's not real?
    Meek and obedient you follow the leader
    Down well trodden corridors into the valley of steel.

    What a surprise!
    A look of terminal shock in your eyes.
    Now things are really what they seem.
    No, this is no bad dream.

  7. Craig says:

    You are free to continue believing you are free up to the moment they ship you off to Gitmo or Bagram.

  8. Grifter says:

    Oh, Via Angus, I can never find fault with your eloquence, your wisdom, your soulful, astute pithyness.

  9. Xenocles says:

    I always thought that "shepherd" was an odd analogy to make for a leader or a god, considering where the shepherd is ultimately leading each member of his flock.

    The "turkey problem" put forth by Nassim Nicholas Taleb is also apropos.

  10. gramps says:

    Based on Mr Angus' photo, the "converteth me to lamb cutlets" is one neat trick. Mr. Haluci1, your comments?

  11. G Thompson says:

    I present for your terror…

    Cows with Guns [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwBFkT_KZr8 ]

    We will fight for bovine freedom
    And hold our large heads high
    We will run free with the Buffalo, or die…
    Cows with guns

  12. G Thompson says:

    And because it's Pope hat… where equine and bovine equality is paramount with much at stake (bad pun)

    PONIES WITH GUNS…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4Ra1523f04

    Warning: cannot be unseen

  13. Luke says:

    Hmm…What may we infer from the server for naderlibrary.com crashing and suddenly we get a post from the master of the Illuminati, Via Angus about being free?

  14. Matt says:

    Cloudscout:

    I'm free!

    (loves me some Are You Being Served?)

  15. Deathpony says:

    So…whats your beef then?

  16. Derrick says:

    Carpe Bovine!

  17. Via Angus says:

    @Luke
    Do not blow my cover. I watch you.

  18. Renee Jones says:

    So, if Mr Angus thinks he is free, does he taste better?

  19. AlphaCentauri says:

    Mr. Angus may be free, but Kobe-San gets beer and massages.

  20. En Passant says:

    Nice opening for Munro Leaf's The Story of Ferdinand as Soylent Green.

  21. Dr Paseve Agressive says:

    You subversive fool. When the overlords arrive to harvest our apendixes to smear on garlic crackers Your death will not be quick and painless. It will be slow and without mercy.

  22. jdgalt says:

    Sounds like you're off your meds.

  23. Andy says:

    This would not happen in Diablo 2's Cow Level!

    (Beef. It's what's for dinner!)

  24. Drumwaster says:

    "It's a cookbook!"

  25. gsebes says:

    Brings to mind the scene in "Hitchhikers Guide", at the restaurant at the end of the Universe, where the "Engineered" cow is brought to the table and suggests to the customers which parts of him will taste the best.

  26. Solgardener says:

    Cows with Guns
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI

    Fat and docile, big and dumb
    They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
    Cows aren't fun

    They eat to grow, they grow to die
    They die to be eaten at the hamburger fry
    Cows well done

    Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
    No one imagined the great cow guru
    Cows are one

    He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
    He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
    Cow Tse Tongue

    He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
    He felt like an outcast, alone, in the herd.
    Cow doldrums

    He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
    Cows gathered around, cause the stakes were so high
    Bad cow pun

    But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
    Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
    Cows are bummed

    He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
    No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
    Cows with guns

    They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
    He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
    Cow well hung

    Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
    Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
    Run cows run!

    He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
    We are free roving bovines, we run free today

    We will fight for bovine freedom
    And hold our large heads high
    We will run free with the Buffalo, or die…
    Cows with guns

    They crashed the gate in a great stampede
    Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
    Cows have fun

    Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
    Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
    Much cow dumg

    Black smoke rising, darkening the day
    Twelve burning McDonald's, have it your way

    We will fight for bovine freedom
    And hold our large heads high
    We will run free with the buffalo, or die
    Cows with guns

    The President said "Enough is Enough!
    These uppity cattle, it's time to get tough"
    Cow dung flung

    The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
    Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
    Cows on buns

    The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
    They mooed their last moos,
    They chewed their last hay
    Cows out-gunned

    The order was given, turn cows to Whoppers
    Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
    But on the horizon, surrounding the shoppers
    Came the deafening roar, of chickens, in choppers!

    We will fight for bovine freedom
    And hold our large heads high
    We will run free with the buffalo, or die
    Cows with guns

  27. Lt. Greyman, 21st Bell (The Blackjacks) NVA says:

    Sadly, it also means that the unruly cows, those that have notice the barbed wire, the prods and the one way exit will be the first to go. Can a population be bred to accept chains so soon after the pioneer spirit? Can TWMNBN be so effective in their propaganda that Whites will sit in their couch, munching their Doritos and beer till the steel piston descends?

  28. GreenKnight says:

    So 90% of the country is literally made up of cowboys and cowgirls?