The Road To Popehat: Back From Hiatus Edition

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17 Responses

  1. Laura says:

    …but why do some of those searches lead people *here*?

  2. somebody says:

    Speak of the pony, and the pony shall arrive.

    And it will never stop haunting you. On the way to work, you will look behind you, and there will be the pony. You will be checking out groceries and in the aisle across from you, there will be the pony, staring right back at you. You will inspect your traffic logs, and the only remaining visitor to your blog will be the pony. You will flee to your bathroom and, desperate for a breath of clean outside air, throw open the window — and there will be the pony.

  3. John O. says:

    Thank you for the laughs as they made my day!

  4. SJD says:

    is threatening to defame someone if you don't pay them blackmail

    Hmm… "If you don't do this and that, I will defame you, and you will sue me, and the burden of proof is yours, and the fees are not recoverable!"

    Fun.

  5. Joe Pullen says:

    I always love the road to Popehat and I needed a laugh today. I'm thankful there were no more search terms alluding to launching badgers at my face.

  6. Tali McPike says:

    @Joe Pullen: I firmly believe that the launching badgers at your face search is one of the greatest Road to Popehat moments ever.

  7. Analee says:

    That awkward moment where you forgot your mother has never heard of Popehat, text her about this post, and then have to explain "snort my taint" to her.

  8. kps says:

    “If you don't stop masturbating, I'm getting an abortion.”

  9. Michael K. says:

    That blackmail plan has me giggling like an idiot.

  10. jasmine says:

    And strangely enough, searching for "what the navy dont want you to know about small farm poneys uttering a threat to a fetus" brings you directly to this article.

  11. Alan W. says:

    That last one made me chuckle, and prompted my wife to ask me what was so funny. It's hard to describe the WHY.

    I could say, "It's a guy thing", but then I don't come off looking so good.

    I could say, "Because any sentence that uses the word 'taint' is a good sentence", but then again, I come off sounding like a bit of a Male Neanderthal (not to be confused with the MUCH more intelligent Female Neanderthal).

    But then I just use my standard, "It's a movie reference". That elicits the bog-standard eye-roll and shake of the head.

    Whew! Dodged that one…

  12. Sean C says:

    Popehat police blotter: Now I've scene it all, Highschool Musical Dinner Theater

    Between bites of dinner, an offended man in a navy suit snarled at a stage actress, threatening her unborn child and accusing her of abusing recreational decongestants when he saw that her shirt read 'OK coral' with an arrow pointing down towards her skirt. Nonplussed, she continued coaxing a strangers pony onto the stage. As the spotlight fell onto the pony, the full splendor of its fishnet stockings and corset emblazoned with the phrase 'Everybody love somepony' was revealed. The man screamed 'I. Will. Cut. You!' before gagging on his fork. The tactical equine response team pronounced the man dead after a two hour standoff.

    Insiders report Rosicrucrusian highschool officials paid a witness an undisclosed sum to suppress video of the event.

  13. Vince Clortho says:

    Is it bad that seven of those ten searches were me?

  14. AlphaCentauri says:

    I wonder what my own Google search history might look like. I tend to put up non-grammatical collections of the terms I want most highly ranked, but they probably could be interpreted in other ways.

    On a lighter note, the onion covered something similar:
    http://www.theonion.com/video/romneys-terrifying-google-search-history-leaked,29971/

  15. Wayne Borean says:

    Yep. Incoming searches are soooo much fun.

    Wayne

  16. nhrpolitic13 says:

    Ken, it seems that you could quite easily take a number from "Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me!" and add one item each month for a "which one of these bizzare entries did I completely make up?" competition. As it stands I am strongly tempted to believe that if the farm ponies weren't made up, then someone is deliberately playing off of Popehat's known enjoyment of, and expertise in, all things pony.

  17. @nhrpolitic13: You underestimate the diversity of human sexuality.