Guest Post: We Must Protect Dedicated Public Servants From Evil, By Arizona State Representative Michelle Ugenti

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29 Responses

  1. Dan Weber says:

    OMG Popehat has sold out, I demand a refund of my membership fee.

  2. Some Person says:

    Isn't it technically already a felony to create an internet account under a false name, thanks to some minor part of one of the cyber security or anti-hacking laws that passed a few years ago? Or is that just a myth.

  3. Joe Pullen says:

    But but . . . it's really for the children.

  4. Ken says:

    @Some Person: the answer is hideously complicated, but it has certainly been tried.

  5. Bear says:

    "[S]ome people seem to see us as petty, deeply mediocre squabblers with a perverted appetite "

    Well… No. The vast majority of local, state, and federal legislators with whom I've dealt would have to engage in many years of self-improvement to work up to that level of merely "petty" evil.

    But I'm probably doing them a huge kindness in the rhetorical assumption that they could improve. History and personal experience indicates otherwise. Most, like Ms. D!psh!t here, simply grab shovels and pickaxes and dig deeper.

  6. Clark says:

    > hilarious masturbation jokes during public proceedings.

    Clicking that link, I read that she was bantering (before the hearing started, it sounds like):

    One of them informed Ugenti: "Michelle, I have a hot date tonight."
    "No you don't, stop it," she shot back. "Your right hand doesn't count."

    Let he who has not joked with friends and coworkers like that throw the first stone.

    That being said, good post.

  7. Michelle Ugenti says:

    Now see?!!!! This sort of thing is exactly the evil, harmful, hurtful, disrepectful-of-you-elected-betters that I'm incessantly whining about. I am NOT addicted to incontinence medications! I just…have a major psychologically-induced medical issue that requires lots of medication. And they weren't squirrels; they were goddamned chipmunks and the little bastards were asking for it! They opened a cheapshot Facebook account in my name. Or something. I think. And I don't even frickin' well know what a parody is, and I'm calling the FBI. And the CIA, so you'd better stop this!

    You meanies.

  8. Bear says:

    @Clark: "Let he who has not joked with friends and coworkers like that throw the first stone."

    Not on camera, as I chaired a state legislature committee meeting.

    But if you'll contribute to my rotating campaign fund, I'm willing to give it a try.

  9. enneract says:

    I'm gonna go off topic here, and say 'FUCK YOU', Michelle Ugenti, you worthless silver-spooned rich bitch.

    Your hair brained legislation regarding tuition serves no purpose except to further raise the barrier to entry to higher education, so that your class can more easily wage war on those who you would have be your serfs.

    [Edited by Ken: this last sentence that I deleted crossed the line. Avoid references to violence against people we disagree with. Or go elsewhere.]

  10. Chris says:

    I know her sister personally, they both got the looks but only her sister got the brains.

  11. derek says:

    I love your blog, Ken!

    What a sanity-forsaken state Arizona is.

  12. enneract says:

    That awkward moment when you realize that you missed the fact that a post was satire, completely.

  13. Bear says:

    That chilling moment when you realize that American lawbreakers (sorry, Freudian slip) -makers have become indistinguishable from their Onion parodies.

    Don't sweat it, enneract; it isn't your fault. Unless you voted for her.

  14. Colin says:

    I don't think anyone has ever summed up Joe Arpaio more accurately than describing him as an escaped Kubrick character. Well done.

  15. Thad says:

    Man, why does it always have to be Arizona?

    There are PLENTY of states at least as embarrassing as us!

    …okay maybe there's nobody more embarrassing than Arpaio. But you already did him.

  16. Jack B. says:

    Seeing how this was a guest post, I was totally expecting some pony references.

  17. ShelbyC says:

    I don't get it. What's wrong with masturbation jokes during public proceedings?

  18. C. S. P. Schofield says:

    In order to mock this twunt one would have to exaggerate her stupidity, and that simply isn't possible.

  19. Grifter says:

    God, I hate this state sometimes.

    And the government of this state all the times.

  20. Another Woman says:

    Gosh. This almost makes the pols here in South Carolina look marginally less stupid.

  21. John_Barleycorn says:

    James Allen, UA student-body president, told legislators that by passing the bill, legislators would make it harder to achieve a higher-education degree.

    Rep. Michelle Ugenti, R-Scottsdale, replied, "Welcome to life."

    Yup, this post confirms it. A slow smile, in conjunction with a spinal tickling belly chuckle that leaves an unmistakeable grin on ones face is indeed one of the top ten coping mechanisms known to mankind to maintain and promote sanity and I ain't talking about masturbation techniques.

    Ain't life a bitch Michelle? I trust you will dispatch your entire staff and instruct them to redouble their efforts immediately.

    Best of luck to you but I would advise against fucking around with goats or the hat of the pope.

    I can't confirm it but rumor is they have powers in the hat to tickle the mind and spine to such an extent it makes masturbation look like a root canal.

    Welcome to life. Hate to say it but you do set your self up for these situations.

    Best of luck to you in your future endeavors.

  22. John David Galt says:

    Relax, honeybunch: as long as Joe Arpaio holds office, you'll be too small a source of humor material for anyone to notice.

    Unless you come out in support of him.

  23. Joe Pullen says:

    Well one can't say Joe Arpaio doesn't have his own set of whackadoo supporters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCwuYULM2Q8&feature=youtu.be&a

  24. MattS says:

    I will respect public servants when they act in ways worthy of respect. I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for that to happen.

  25. a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q) says:

    Golfclap, Patrick.

  26. Southwest Brogue says:

    An Ode to Arizona

    With an air of overbearing, righteous zeal
    the leaders of Arizona will tell you they feel
    that feelings are hurt when others are crass
    but we all know they're talking out their …

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