Transcript Of Senate Judiciary Committee Proceedings: February 5, 2013

Politics & Current Events

The Sergeant at Arms having called the Committee to order, the first speaker was Chairperson Feinstein.

Senator Feinstein: We continue our hearing on Senate Bill 13-367, the Firearms Safety Act, with today's witness Mr. Wayne Lapierre of the National Rifle Association. Mr. Lapierre, I understand you're here today on behalf of your organization, to testify on ideas for preventing future tragedies such as those which occurred at Newtown and Aurora.

Mr. Lapierre: That is correct, Madame Chair.

Senator Feinstein: Let the witness be sworn.

The witness was duly sworn.

Mr. Lapierre: Madame Chair, may it please the Committee, I would like to begin with a statement. On behalf of the National Rifle Association and its four million members, and the thirteen million active sportsmen and hunters we represent, let me say that we all deplore the breakdown in our nation's morals, and mental health care system, that led to these tragedies…

Mr. Thompson: Objection! Out of order, irrelevant, immaterial, impertinent, and scandalous! Madame Chair, on behalf those alleged to suffer from mental health disorders, I move that the witness's last remark be struck.

Senator Feinstein: Mr. Lapierre, who is this man?

Mr. Thompson: I can answer that! May it please the Committee, and even if it may not, I am Jack Thompson. You probably know that Jack Thompson is one of the most outspoken opponents of sexuality and violence in video games. Along with other notables such as Hillary Clinton and Tipper Gore, Jack Thompson has sent literally hundreds of letters, made dozens of media appearances in such respected venues as Hannity and Colmes and The O'Reilly Factor, and even filed several law suits, all attempting to restrict harmful video games from reaching the hands of youth. In addition, it is my pleasure to serve as General Counsel and Media Relations Advisor for the National Rifle Association, and the witness's counsel before this tribunal.

Mr. Lapierre: That's correct. Mr. Thompson's appointment became effective on December 20, Madame Chair. As I was saying, it has long been apparent to our members that this great nation suffers from a sickness of the soul, and that millions of Americans who suffer from mental disease go untreated…

Mr. Thompson: Objection! Sustained! I will caution this witness not to confuse this honorable committee with LIBEL SLANDERS or he shall receive NOTICE! Our Process Servers will be UNLEASHED! Let the record reflect that!

Mr. Lapierre: … and from the deadly scourge of violent and pornographic videogames, which afflict and trouble the youth who commit these rampages.

Mr. Thompson: Now we're talkin'!

Senator Franken: Madame Chairwoman, may I suggest to the witness that his counsel's antics are highly disruptive of this Committee's work, and ask that…

Mr. Thompson: I don't have to take that from a drug pusher like you, Senator!

Senator Feinstein: <gavels> Order in the hearing room!

Mr. Thompson: You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole Committee is out of order! They're out of order! That man, that sick, crazy, depraved man, raped and beat that woman there, and he'd like to do it again! He told me so! It's just a show! It's a show! It's "Let's Make A Deal"! "Let's Make A Deal"! Hey Frank, you wanna make A Deal? I got an insane Senator who likes to beat the shit out of women! Whaddya wanna give me Frank, three weeks probation? You, son of a bitch, you! You're supposed to stand for something! You're supposed to protect people! But instead you rape and murder them! You killed McCullough! You killed him! Hold it! Hold it! I just completed my opening statement!

Senator Feinstein: <gavels> One more outburst from counsel and the Committee will adjourn for contempt proceedings!

Mr. Thompson: Ah hah! But the strawberries that's where I had them. They LAUGHED AT ME and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with GEOMETRIC LOGIC that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist.

Senator Feinstein:  The Committee will adjourn. Mister Sergeant!

Mr. Thompson:  And I'd have produced that key if the Florida Supreme Court hadn't put me out of action. I know now they were only trying to protect Electronic Arts and Activision!

 Whereupon the Committee adjourned.

Last 5 posts by Patrick Non-White

18 Comments

18 Comments

  1. digitrev  •  Dec 21, 2012 @10:40 am

    Hey. No time travel. It messes with my simulations.

  2. ZK  •  Dec 21, 2012 @10:42 am

    While the rest of the speech was alright, the digression into blaming violent video-games and music videos (whatever those are) has not made Mr. LaPierre especially popular with NRA members that have grown up with them.

    I'm pushing for another Cincinnati Revolt (where the NRA's hunter-centric leadership was replaced by more pro-gun members), or at least adding some board members under 30…

  3. TheOtherMatt  •  Dec 21, 2012 @10:46 am

    Epic TBH i thought Ken would subdue us with his trademark WallOText on the videogame angle but, this is much better

  4. Jonathan  •  Dec 21, 2012 @10:51 am

    There has never been a mutiny aboard a US Naval Vessel. However, there has been much mockery of recent proceedings…

  5. Grifter  •  Dec 21, 2012 @10:54 am

    Ahh, the Caine Mutiny. I need to watch that again…

  6. LT  •  Dec 21, 2012 @10:54 am

    … the NRA didn't really hire Jack Thompson, did they? Please tell me they did. Oh, please. That would be such an awesome early Christmas present, to see them shooting themselves in the foot like that!

  7. Derrick  •  Dec 21, 2012 @10:55 am

    6 points for use of "Libel Slanders"

  8. LT  •  Dec 21, 2012 @11:07 am

    Oh, never mind, I see the Thompson link now. Oh, Newgrounds, you were so childish and stupid and entertaining for idiot college kids like me.

  9. Ken  •  Dec 21, 2012 @11:37 am

    Ahh, the Caine Mutiny. I need to watch that again…

    What elevates it from good to great is Jose Ferrar's scene at the end.

  10. ShelbyC  •  Dec 21, 2012 @2:00 pm

    Somin, over at VC, has an excellent take on sensible laws that we can enact after the Newtown tragedy that will reduce gun violence far more than anything anyone else has proposed: Legalize drugs.

  11. Scott Jacobs  •  Dec 21, 2012 @2:27 pm

    I would just like to hear Senator Ma'am talk about how no one needs a gun, and then have someone point our her conceal-carry permit.

  12. Xenocles  •  Dec 21, 2012 @3:18 pm

    @Jonathan – That depends on how you interpret the Somers affair.

  13. Analee  •  Dec 21, 2012 @4:45 pm

    A+ use of "The Caine Mutiny," sir.

  14. Jonsthan Clivaz  •  Dec 21, 2012 @5:29 pm

    @Xenocles Oh well I can always fall back on the 'just quoting' defence if need be

  15. Xenocles  •  Dec 21, 2012 @5:43 pm

    Don't feel bad. It depends on whether you count a conviction on conspiracy charges as a mutiny.

  16. Jonsthan Clivaz  •  Dec 21, 2012 @5:47 pm

    It suits my purposes to say it doesn't count, ergo doesn't count therefore I'm right!

  17. Brett Middleton  •  Dec 22, 2012 @10:35 am

    Watch? While I agree that [i]The Caine Mutiny[/i] is a great film, it would have to be double the length to really do justice to the book. It's worth adding to your holiday reading list. I've probably read the book as many times as I've watch the flick.

  18. Ancel De Lambert  •  Dec 22, 2012 @12:36 pm

    Damn, today's Penny Arcade sums it up perfectly. http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2012/12/21