This Was Inevitable — So I'm Glad It Was Well-Executed

Fun

Re: OFFERED PONY BLOG ARTICLES — POPEHAT
From: pony_articles_com@yahoo.com

Dear KEN ,

I would like to inquire re: your interest in blog post submissions. My associates and I have wide range of experience in many areas. I believe we can offer you web traffic driving articles of interest to your readers, on topics such as PONY , _INSURANCE , and FIRST AMENDMENT OPPONENT. Also of interest may be PONY VICTIM COUNSELING , MENTAL HEALTH , CRAZY FUCKING LAWYER, and BRONY PSYCHOLOGY .

For your convenience and to improve the marketability and sales of your site, we can embed convenient shopping links for blog related items like PONY TACK, PONY HAT , and LIVESTOCK FEED .

Please reply immediately to indicate interest. Tell which article subject you wish most soonest.

Sincerest,

Kolabati Bahkti

Last 5 posts by Ken White

44 Comments

44 Comments

  1. Hughhh  •  Dec 9, 2012 @7:35 pm

    I'm just so happy right now. :)

  2. Jack B.  •  Dec 9, 2012 @7:36 pm

    … and the SEO payoff is almost immediate. Popehat shows up on Page One of google search results for "Kolabati Bahkti" and "crazy fucking lawyer".

  3. Brett Middleton  •  Dec 9, 2012 @7:52 pm

    "Kolabati Bahkti" was a central character in F. Paul Wilson's first Repairman Jack novel, The Tomb. She and her brother were the last keepers of the rakoshi (demons from India). When I did a Google on the name, references to Wilson filled the first few pages, though Popehat did manage to sneak in at the bottom of the first page.

    Something tells me somebody is rattling Ken's chain here.

  4. princessartemis  •  Dec 9, 2012 @8:03 pm

    It's a thing of beauty. whiles away a tear

  5. Bethany  •  Dec 9, 2012 @8:40 pm

    I actually laughed out loud.

  6. Lago  •  Dec 9, 2012 @9:17 pm

    we have a winner!

  7. AlphaCentauri  •  Dec 9, 2012 @10:10 pm

    Headers or it didn't happen ;)

  8. doug  •  Dec 9, 2012 @10:14 pm

    i am so excited that I might be able to by livestock feed thru popehat. just think of the extra income.

  9. Grifter  •  Dec 9, 2012 @10:20 pm

    Don't keep us in suspense!

    Which one did you request?

  10. BebeTaian  •  Dec 9, 2012 @10:22 pm

    I was wondering when someone would write a troll submission on ponies!

    Also, Ken, I did use the pony idea when someone wasted my time this weekend. And thank you. You see, I was off in the merry land of selling stuff online, when I got an e-mail: "Hey, I'm interested! Let's meet this weekend! I'll pay cash!"

    Cool. I stay home. Then, "I can't make it today. I'll have someone send you a cheque to cash and return me part of the money… blah blah blah…"

    FUUU. Fine. "Absolutely! But so you know, for non-cash or Paypal transactions, I require a pony fee. The pony must be exponentially more impressive per item removed…"

    Maybe they don't like Arabian breeds?

  11. adam  •  Dec 9, 2012 @10:37 pm

    you SO have to take them up on that offer….i'd pay money to see the blog post.

  12. Kelly  •  Dec 9, 2012 @10:38 pm

    Ba ha ha! Love it!

  13. Deadly Laigrek  •  Dec 9, 2012 @10:45 pm

    I vote for BRONY PSYCHOLOGY. When I read that, I almost died.

  14. Ancel De Lambert  •  Dec 9, 2012 @10:49 pm

    Teh win, teh utter and complete win. It's over, you're done Ken. The ultimate has been reached, one cannot improve upon perfection. You'll have to find some new bizarre demand to troll with. Maybe cherub dolls…

  15. Grifter  •  Dec 9, 2012 @10:50 pm

    Wait, we're voting now?

    PONY VICTIM COUNSELING!

  16. Deadly Laigrek  •  Dec 10, 2012 @3:11 am

    Hey Ken, can we get both PONY VICTIM COUNSELING and BRONY PSYCHOLOGY?

  17. Deadly Laigrek  •  Dec 10, 2012 @3:12 am

    Shoot.

    and

  18. M.  •  Dec 10, 2012 @5:22 am

    I agree that you've been trolled. Still totally for the greater lulz, though.

  19. AlphaCentauri  •  Dec 10, 2012 @6:35 am

    Pony victim counseling does provide a lot of room for creativity. You have to tailor the therapy to the injuries.

  20. tsrblke  •  Dec 10, 2012 @7:47 am

    Beaten to the punch.
    I considered that this would be humorous to troll, but sadly, also thought it was a bit over the top. (Plus with my email addresses being the same across all accounts, Ken might catch on and I'd never be allowed back.)
    Kudos to whoever decided the humor was worth the risk.

  21. LT  •  Dec 10, 2012 @8:19 am

    I bet I could give you Brony Psychology articles at half the price they're offering!

    … except they'd be biased, as I'm a brony. (Hey, girls can be bronies too.)

    Whoever had the balls to troll like this deserves an award. I nearly snorted my coffee up my nose laughing when I read it.

  22. Tali McPike  •  Dec 10, 2012 @9:48 am

    Oh My….
    I want this to be legit, but I know the likely answer is a troll. Either way my day has been made by this.

  23. Bear  •  Dec 10, 2012 @10:18 am

    @Deadly Laigrek:"Hey Ken, can we get both PONY VICTIM COUNSELING and BRONY PSYCHOLOGY?"

    I think it would be a single article, bronies being a subset of pony victims.

  24. Kirk Taylor  •  Dec 10, 2012 @10:22 am

    Only choice now is to call the bluff and see what kind of articles you get – I bet they'd be worth posting…

  25. mojo  •  Dec 10, 2012 @10:23 am

    I was victimized by a pony as a child.

    No, really! The heartless beast stood on my big toe for at least 30 seconds before I could batter it into movement. I was psychologically traumatized by theis horror, I'm fairly sure. What kind of payout can I expect from the pony bund in compensation for this tragedy?

  26. Deadly Laigrek  •  Dec 10, 2012 @2:54 pm

    @mojo – You have my sympathies, my good man. I, too, was traumatized by a pony as a child. It was an ornery old pony and it refused to go any faster than a slow plod, even at the urging of its handlers. Stupid pony.

  27. Deadly Laigrek  •  Dec 10, 2012 @2:56 pm

    @Bear – Ahhh, I see, so you're saying that bronies are the quislings of the pony world. Of course, of course, it all makes sense now…

  28. Incunabulum  •  Dec 10, 2012 @4:07 pm

    Live by the keyword, die by the keyword.

  29. BRIAN TANNEBAUM  •  Dec 10, 2012 @4:26 pm

    Marc Romano would not appreciate you making fun of his email.

  30. SarahW  •  Dec 10, 2012 @4:36 pm

    Hey, it brought me here. But where are the pony hats?

  31. Careless  •  Dec 10, 2012 @5:23 pm

    @mojo: when I was 9 I had a horse roll while I was riding it and then get up by stepping on my ankle. That hurt.

    In terms of long-term suffering, I think all the My Little Pony my daughter subjects me to is worse. You people joke about bronies, but they're real, and they're terrifying.

  32. Analee  •  Dec 10, 2012 @6:06 pm

    Best troll in the world!

  33. Bear  •  Dec 10, 2012 @6:46 pm

    Marc Romano is a brony.

  34. ElSuerte Diego  •  Dec 10, 2012 @8:58 pm

    Are the comments supposed to be off in the Patterico update thread?

  35. Ken  •  Dec 10, 2012 @9:18 pm

    Are the comments supposed to be off in the Patterico update thread?

    Yes.

  36. Scott Jacobs  •  Dec 10, 2012 @9:48 pm

    This makes me sad. I wanted to reminisce about the comment thread in the post in March. God, that was some epic fisking…

    FISKING, you perverts. I SAID FISKING.

  37. Alfred P Swillinger  •  Dec 11, 2012 @2:48 am

    Ponies to the left of them, ponies to the right of them…

  38. Jenn  •  Dec 11, 2012 @8:13 am

    This made my day.

  39. rev  •  Dec 11, 2012 @9:09 am

    /me checks registrar for ponyhat.com.

  40. Connie  •  Dec 11, 2012 @11:30 am

    My father's mid-life crisis is to be a horse-rancher. He CLAIMS it's to give me the pony every little girl wants. My response: I'm allergic to horses and you know it.

    That aside, this was hilarious.

  41. Scott Jacobs  •  Dec 11, 2012 @3:54 pm

    My response: I'm allergic to horses and you know it.

    Have you considered the possibility that he just doesn't like you very much? :)

  42. Connie  •  Dec 11, 2012 @5:17 pm

    @Scott – It's more likely he doesn't know me very well.

  43. John Pomeroy  •  Dec 11, 2012 @9:20 pm

    Just for your information… IOwnTheWorld.com has a semi-My Little Pony featured article up. http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=160385 Funny picture

  44. Basil Forthrightly  •  Dec 12, 2012 @3:38 pm

    Damn. And all this time, I thought the key to pony SEO was embedding the magic phrase "taint-snorting pony" in page comments. I've been schooled.