You May Be PROHIBITED From Making Fun of Raanan Katz! PROHIBITED!

50 Responses

  1. Anglave says:

    Where can I donate to support the appeal?

  2. David Aubke says:

    Anglave, you sir (or madam) just made the list.

  3. Dan Weber says:

    Ranaan Katz eats paste.

  4. Josh C says:

    Err, doesn't a court order to "not break X law" inherently present double-jeopardy problems? Or is this just a way to turn a civil case criminal?

  5. Art says:

    I once heard Ranaan Katz is actually part orangutan. From his mother's side.

  6. Bear says:

    Not being a lawyer, I am often astonished by the the sheer boneheadedness of many decisions. But this…

    WTF?

    "…makes no findings of facts as to actual violations…" but I hereby order you, and you, and you, and maybe him, possibly her, the Holy Roman Empire, and permanent residents of Tau Ceti not to do it — whatever the hell it might have been… or wasn't… or whatever — anyway (!?).

    Does Leesfield have a "property of" inventory tag plastered to her back? And does that question put me in violation of her order?

  7. Ygolonac says:

    Is there an ongoing "mysterious disappearance" of glass lightbulbs from the fixtures in that judge's office? And a corresponding rash of "plastic bags taped over the smoke alarm sensors"?

    The quoted text above would seem to indicate such…

  8. M. says:

    So, are there any photos of Ranaan Katz with his pets and/or female relatives which could be captioned "Ranaan Katz and dogs?"

  9. Captain Obvious says:

    What will you do about it?

    This – Obviously :-)

  10. Rrr says:

    Well, it is equally obvious upon its very face is that Ranaan Katz is not a son of a beech. Nor is, similarly, Miami-Dade County judge Ellen Leesfield, albeit mainly for genderally opposite raisins (dates consideredely being left out of the picture at this point-&squeeze). Nuts? – nutsoshure. Downpoor predicted. Tar is extra.

    Discclaimer: I'm certifiably everglad to never ever go floridian. Altogether too much crock. Also, I have no idea who these idiost are, except from the Paternal Post. Hey, Rannee, how do i collext me monnye? Not like lessfelt, ok – that's unnatural. Used, low demons.

    Oh also also, in my own wild fuurin MotherTongue, "son of a beech" as in "offspring of a certain tree" might alas be a synonym for "dickhead" – only I do clearly mean something quite alt's unnaturheadless instantly, ftr. Offer void where invalid so plz bring viable goat. YMMV. IANAL. YajeshattobethereMan. = Far Out

    Ceci n'est pas une parodie (or it would have been framed already)

  11. Ken says:

    There's something very Jabba the Hutt-ish about his tongue protruding in that shot.

  12. Dan says:

    On behalf of the entire world (including the defendants), Ranaan Katz is a dickwad.

  13. Grandy says:

    Clearly the only response here is a Downfall clip.

  14. M. says:

    Seriously, "Ranaan Katz." He's practically self-parodying.

  15. W. C. Taqiyya says:

    The judge saw an excellent opportunity to help some lawyers make more money. On appeal, the injunction will be tinkered with a little bit and remanded with vague instructions, leading to endless motions, hearings and further appeals. This is a lawyer's dream.

  16. Brandon says:

    I heard from a generally reliable source that Ellen Leesfield enjoys watching videotapes of Ranaan Katz fucking sheep.

  17. Andrew says:

    Isn't an order "not to defame someone" effectively meaningless, except insofar as it creates two penalties (tort and contempt of court) for the one action?

  18. Joe Pullen says:

    There's something very Jabba the Hutt-ish about his tongue protruding in that shot.

    I was thinking something similar. But more like one of those garden lizards after it has recently dispatched a bug.

  19. Harry Lime says:

    For the record, it's "Raanan" Katz I believe, not Ranaan.

  20. mojo says:

    What's the penalty for telling a judge to "sit on it and spin"?

  21. Laura K says:

    BRANDON–

    MY GOD, WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE SHEEP!?!?

  22. AlphaCentauri says:

    " The remedies are the same as they have always been: appeal, hope that a higher court will hew more closely to applicable precedent and constitutional rights . . . and speak more. Keep writing and talking about Ranaan Katz's litigation campaign."

    Unless you're a sportswriter. Then you might want to play it safe and give the Miami Heat as little coverage as possible.

  23. Colin says:

    I'm hung up on the injunction as against John Doe. "someone, we don't know who, or even if we have personal jurisdiction over the same, may not do X". Also, in the context here of the vagueness here, what is to say that I'm not John Doe? Maybe I need to join the suit to ensure I'm not John doe. Maybe you all do to! It is so vague, how can anyone tell?

  24. OH Krill says:

    Welcome to South Florida.

  25. M. says:

    Whatever, still sounds like "Raanan Katz and dogs" to me. The low fruit is just as tasty as all the rest!

  26. SPQR says:

    Brazenly, jaw-droppingly, unconstitutional.

  27. James Pollock says:

    Forgive my ignorance. Isn't irreparable harm a required showing for preliminary injunction? And isn't it categorically true that "irreparable harm" does not include anything you can obtain damages for in a court of law? (I realize that this is a legal question contrary to the wishes of the esteemed Mr. Katz, so I only dare ask because I'm fairly sure that I will not come under the jurisdiction of any Florida court.)

  28. Chris R. says:

    We should have a blog about how much a douche Ranaan Katz is day.

  29. NotPiffany says:

    Just to be safe, perhaps NBA fans in other cities should stay home when the Miami Heat comes to play their teams? I mean this Katz guy might decide that cheering for the other team insults him or something. (Mainly I say this because I think it would be funny for Mark Cuban to receive a bunch of letters explaining that fans won't be coming to a Mavericks game because they're afraid the Heat's owner would sue them.)

  30. Ancel De Lambert says:

    Raanan Katz enjoys placing ants in his jockstrap; they, as he puts it, "tickle so wonderfully."

  31. Alan Shortmancomplex says:

    I went to see if I could buy ranaankatz.com, but somebody else already bought it. CRYSTAL COX!

    Alankluger.com is still available.

  32. John David Galt says:

    Why don't we make fun of judge Ellen Leesfield, then?

    She's sure proven that you don't have to have a dick to be one.

  33. Matthew Cline says:

    Say, what happened to the threatened lawsuit against Marc Randazza?

  34. Prohest says:

    I have it from unreliable sources that Raanan Katz blows goats for sexual pleasure!

  35. Matthew Cline says:

    About the contempt filing mentioned on TechDirt: here is a copy of the contempt filing, which reference these three blog posts: one, two, three.

  36. G Thompson says:

    Since this weird order now enjoins the whole known universe from doing anything, wouldn't that by itself be proof positive (would a court lie??) that Katz is not just a public figure but the most protected person of all time and therefore absolutely public, since the public by necessity of the order MUST know of him. This then absolutely puts a hguge spanner in the defamation claim these dicks are trying to proceed with.

    Oh and since Katz's own attorneys are by definition part of the "all others" as well, shouldn't they themselves be charged with contempt (and stupidity – though that's obvious) for the "otherwise cause harm to Plaintiffs" since this order they wanted has and will cause more harm and pain to Katz by the chilling effect of the Streisand Effect caused now the world/universe knows of this complete moronic dickwad who yes bears a striking resemblance to Jabba the Hut

  37. Joe Pullen says:

    @Adam – OMG I thought you were kidding but you weren't

    Registered through: GoDaddy.com, LLC (http://www.godaddy.com)
    Domain Name: RANAANKATZ.COM
    Created on: 03-Jul-12
    Expires on: 03-Jul-13
    Last Updated on: 26-Sep-12
    Registrant:
    Reverend Crystal Cox
    PO Box 2027
    Port Townsend, Washington 98368

    It appears Katz may soon come down with a case of Coxitis. I can just imagine these two going up against each other and predict nuclear type explosions soon.

    Unfortunately the blogger caught up in all of this may end up looking the worse for Cox's involvement.

  38. Boxy says:

    Actually, this could be interesting. Since Mark Randazza is a mutual foe of Crystal Cox and Ranaan Katz, maybe she's going to be nice to him, in her own psychotic way. Imagine a fansite, engineered by Crystal Cox.

    *Grabs popcorn*

  39. JustinM says:

    I think a psych eval is in order for the judge in this case because there is no way a sane person could possible come out on Katz' side of this…. right?! *Rocks back and forth in the corner*

  40. Personanongrata says:

    A hearty Bronx-cheer for Raanan Katz and Miami-Dade County judge Ellen Leesfield:

    Thppppppppt

  41. Sunioc says:

    Why haven’t we had an official response to the rumor that Raanan Katz raped and murdered a girl in 1990?

  42. Chris R. says:

    @Sunioc, if it weren't true, I'd deny it. I do wonder why he hasn't.

  43. JJB says:

    I'm thinking that shortly after a South Florida judge leaves the bench the judge will find amazingly well-compensated employment with a venture associated with Mr. Katz. It is possible that friends and relatives have already hopped on the Katz Crazy Train to Wealthville. Of course, downright stupidity could be another possible explanation.

  44. AlphaCentauri says:

    I think stupidity has to figure prominently. She's not doing him any favors with a ruling that will be so easily overturned on appeal.

  45. mojo says:

    "Enter defamatory blogs" can be read a number of ways, none of which are within the court's purview.

    Does it mean they cannot log on to a blog that is "defamatory"? Probably not, but we are dealing with lawyers here. Straining at gnats is core curriculum.

    Does it mean that the court has issued a nonsensical ind unenforceable order? That's my bet.

  46. What provision does Florida have for impeaching judges? In my native Massachusetts, the legislature can send a "letter of address" (quite rare) to the Governor, who would have to sign off on it. If Florida's legislature has a similar power, I don't think legislators of either party would want to seek reelection while defending so flagrant an abuse of judicial power.

  47. andrews says:

    There is no provision for impeaching judges. For many, no doubt including the one in question here, there is an every-6-years merit retention election.

    The normal method for getting rid of unfit judges is to complain of violations of the canons to the Judicial Qualification Commission (JQC). A bad order, even one as patently hare-brained as this one, is most certainly not cause for removal. Were it otherwise, judges could not rule for fear that the offended party might have a connection into the JQC.

    That said, I must observe that it appears that the order was prepared by the offended plaintiff, and certainly shows the risks of judges simply signing orders prepared by the parties. We'd be better served if judges had to write their own orders, and in so doing were perhaps forced to reflect slightly. Would a real judge ever write an order imposing preliminary injunction which order expressly declined to make findings of fact?

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