In Which Drat, I Scared Them All Off Too Early

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22 Responses

  1. adam says:

    i'm beginning to think you have WAY too much fun with this. but man, it's hysterical.

  2. W. C. Taqiyya says:

    Dear Mr and/or Miss Popehat:

    RE:
    It has come to our attention that your firm is interested in purchasing pony insurance and in filing claims against ponies. We here, at Four Legged Menace, LLC are happy to admit that we are the very essence of this new and exciting field of animal husbandry and bitchery. We are proud of the fact that in the field of critter insurance we have moved the fence-line a lot farther than it extended before. It now extends well into the next county and encompasses not only ponies but also horses, donkeys, dogs, cats, goats and asses. Crossbred into the insurance part of the business we have a thriving, energetic and hormone free litigation business whose primary task is keeping animals responsible for their misdeeds. We love to sue animals and I can tell you that ever since they gained the right to vote, choose where and how they live and what they can eat, the lawsuits are pouring in. In fact, one of our subsidiaries is representing a group of cows right now demanding the right to practice the religion of their choice. If, as we expect, the courts rule in our favor, the business opportunities will expand exponentially. Needless to say, the potential in the fields of disability and gaining disadvantaged minority status is awesome.

  3. W. C. Taqiyya says:

    I mistakenly hit the submit button a bit too early. Anyhow, we would love to help you with your insurance and litigation needs. With your permission, we will send a detailed insurance proposal along with a prospectus thing containing our thrilling investment opportunities. Don't just sit in that saddle, grab the reins and help make the animals behave responsibly. Remember, we all need to think about the children. Thank you so much for your kind consideration. Please don't hesitate to let us know how often you would like to be informed of new developments in this fast paced, growing enterprise.

  4. bbeenie says:

    She said she'd write about "any topic related to your blog theme" in exchange for a link…you'd think she'd take you up on a pony article. I'm disappointed in Tracy.

  5. Michael K says:

    "I came across your blog and must say that the informative content of your blog is worth reading."

    This should be a wake-up call to punch up the non-informative content, guys. It's apparently not worth reading yet.

  6. Connie says:

    I'm waiting for the Brony community to file a libel suit against Popehat for their continued degredation of ponies, pony loving community, and the word pony in general.

  7. Dave says:

    I'm waiting for the day Popehat receives spam from an actual pony ranch of whatever you call a place you breed those things. I suppose in Manchester, it would be called a collyswopdopwobble spanner.

  8. Brony says:

    @Connie

    Oh the suit is coming, just you wait. We have hired a top notch lawyer to represent us. Perhaps you have heard of Mr. Charles Carreon?

    We are lucky have get a lawyer of his caliber on our side. We're also lucky that some current hardships have reduced his fees to a level we could afford. He was willing to represent us for a carrot, two lumps of sugar, and a half-chewed apple.

  9. Connie says:

    @Brony – Speaking of Mr. Carreon, I read that they finally managed to serve him! I'm sure he's happy to have you as a client in light of this disturbing news.

  10. PhilG says:

    Bronies: The Quislings Of The Pony Occupation?

    Friendship is turning on your species!

  11. Boxy says:

    Speaking of bronies, I was contemplating posting PopePony to a certain infamous image board on its pony forum, for science. I hesitate because it could possibly draw a certain type of attention to this blog, filling the comment filter with racist, bestial canned meats.

  12. Geoff says:

    After a truly shitty day, I really needed those lulz. Thanks Ken.

  13. AlphaCentauri says:

    Shoot, we'd have fun writing blog posts on those topics, and we wouldn't demand backlinks.

  14. Kelly says:

    Ha! Thank you for the laughs, Ken.

  15. Chris R. says:

    Spammers have all the fun.

  16. garrick says:

    Thank you for the large, long laugh this morning as I begin my day.

    MOAR COFFEE!

  17. Mike says:

    I'm still waiting for the Humpty Dumpty reference: http://i.imgur.com/lXT1N.gif

  18. Paul says:

    I really would like to read "Screaming "Pony" In A Crowded Theater: A Post-Brandenburg Analysis." I hope Tracy gets back to you. Or someone else takes it up.

  19. Artor says:

    I was just reminded of a childhood campout on Chincoteague Island, which has been overrun by feral ponies since a Spanish galleon sank nearby in the 1700's I was 4 or 5 years old, sitting around a bonfire with my family, roasting marshmallows. I had finally mastered the skill of roasting a marshmallow without turning it into a flaming cinder, but as I pulled my stick out of the fire & turned to show off my mad skillz to my mom, a wild pony crept out of the darkness with ninja stealth and ate the marshmallow right off the end of my stick!

  20. Kristin M says:

    A "super media professional" (seriously, that's what he called himself) came into our law office today offering to increase our Google ranking. Of course, he had no idea what we did, who we were, or any of the other basic information you would learn from the smallest amount of research or even just looking at our webpage. So apparently the marketeers are now going door-to-door.