PONIES HAVE ENTERED THE POPEHAT! PONIES HAVE ENTERED THE POPEHAT!

Fun

From: anthony@outsourcedcontenttoday.com
To: ken@popehat.com

Re: Pope Hat Contact

Hi,

I have a client who is interested in purchasing an advertisement on your website, popehat.

Please let me know if you accept advertising.

Thanks in advance.
Anthony.

If you do not wish to receive any further communication from our company, please respond with "NOT INTERESTED" in the subject line.

Anthony:

Your email came in a time of desperate need. It's last stand time here. David is gone. Grandy is missing. Patrick is posting — well, best not to characterize it. Only I am l left.

We need funds to continue the defense, or Popehat will fall . . . to them.

What type of advertisements are you offering? What kind of remuneration might we expect?

The forces arrayed against us . . . I've said too much.

Please respond.

Desperately,

Ken
www.popehat.com

Hi Ken,

Thanks for getting back to me so quickly – great site by the way!

I am seeking to place a single text link on your site for my client. I have been given a flat budget of $75.00 per year to place the link on your site.

Please let me know your thoughts on this when you have a moment or two.

Also, I am available via Skype, so if you have a Skype account please provide me with your username if you prefer to communicate in that manner.

Have a wonderful day :)

Best,
Anthony.

Too late. Too late.

Popehat pony, sans text, courtesy of Arthur.

Last 5 posts by Ken White

36 Comments

34 Comments

  1. Grifter  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:08 am

    I think that pony swallowed my soul.

  2. Dan  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:11 am

    Thank you for providing an image that will haunt my dreams.

  3. David  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:12 am

    What has been seen cannot be unseen.

  4. SamLR  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:13 am

    All hail, the holy see: Pope-pony!

    Ken, thought you might appreciate this glorious grasp of law from "Our Valued Customers"[1] (yes, it's off topic it just happened to appear on my feed below this post).

    [1] http://ourvaluedcustomers.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/to-his-friend_24.html

  5. Keith Lee  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:14 am

    Got this one this morning as well. So lame.

    To: associatesmind@gmail.com
    Subject: Contact Form Submission from Anthony Ford
    X-PHP-Script: associatesmind.com/index.php for 72.185.81.241
    Date: Wed, 24 Oct 2012 11:03:42 +0000
    From: "<anthony@outsourcedcontenttoday.com"
    Message-ID:
    X-Priority: 3
    X-Mailer: PHPMailer 5.2.1 (http://code.google.com/a/apache-extras.org/p/phpmailer/)
    Reply-To: anthony@outsourcedcontenttoday.com
    MIME-Version: 1.0
    Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
    Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
    X-Identified-User: {:box780.bluehost.com:XXX:box780.bluehost.com} {sentby:program running on server}

    Name: Anthony Ford

    Email: anthony@outsourcedcontenttoday.com

    Comments: Hi,

    I have a client who is interested in purchasing an advertisement on your website, associatesmind.

    Please let me know if you accept advertising.

    Thanks in advance.
    Anthony.

    If you do not wish to receive any further communication from our company, please respond with "NOT INTERESTED" in the subject line.

  6. PhilG  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:20 am

    Why would someone ever create that po-nightmare? Why? I'm never going to sleep again.

  7. Matt Cole  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:26 am

    Creepy. And yet, I imagine, effective.

  8. Nicholas Weaver  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:28 am

    Ahh, Google Juicing…

    The question: what are they juicing for, and they are far too cheap about it. $75? BAH!

    Again, however, in the disrupt the business model world, next time, be sure to ask for the URL to their site they want juiced first… There might be ways to make it hurt…

  9. adam  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:38 am

    dear god, i will never get that image out of my head. haunt my dreams, indeed.

  10. Josh C  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:43 am

    Hilarity aside, I'm not actually sure what's offensive about getting asked "do you sell advertising?"

  11. Nicholas Weaver  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:45 am

    Josh: Because this isn't about advertising, once the terms were clear, this is about Google Juicing: trying to artifially raise the status of the target site by buying links on highly rated websites. Its actually a big problem with universities, with students accepting payment for this.

    The Juicers themselves can range from just kinda spammy SEO (Search Engine Optimization) types to real crud like the online pharma vendors.

  12. Ken  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:47 am

    @Josh C

    Hilarity aside, I'm not actually sure what's offensive about getting asked "do you sell advertising?"

    A fair question.

    1. Spamming is scummy.

    2. Anthony is, like most spammers, a liar. He does not "have a client who is interested in purchasing an advertisement on your website, popehat," any more than he has a client interested in purchasing an advertisement on Keith's web site. Rather, he has spammed multiple web sites with a shoddy come-on.

  13. S. Weasel  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:53 am

    Yeah, but what's the real pitch? What actually ends up happening if you pursue it? I get those, too, and ignore them (of course), but I've always wondered.

  14. Nicholas Weaver  •  Oct 24, 2012 @8:59 am

    S. Weasel: The pitch is to put a link to their site on your page someplace, in a way that Google etc think its a real link and not an advertising, so pagerank type popularity algorithms (where both the number of links and the reputation of the source of the links) is used to judge the quality of the page and thus its location in search results.

    Those participating can range all over the place: There is the typical SEO "optimizers" who are the website equivelent of the #LMAOtech crowd, all the way to those selling black-market pharmaceuticals (they don't just SPAM for the V-word…).

  15. S. Weasel  •  Oct 24, 2012 @9:08 am

    Oh. That seems a pretty work-intensive way of getting links (I assume they don't pay out, but that takes an actual human being writing real emails to put it over).

  16. Dan Weber  •  Oct 24, 2012 @9:12 am
  17. Grandy  •  Oct 24, 2012 @9:18 am

    Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash could beat up Nyarlaponytep.

    Fact.

  18. Nicholas Weaver  •  Oct 24, 2012 @9:19 am

    Well, thats the reputable way to do it, which makes it more likely to be a scummy SEO Marketeer who's charging $3000 to the client (and only spending $300 on links).

    The disreputable way is to simply hack webpages…

  19. Nicholas Weaver  •  Oct 24, 2012 @9:23 am

    Don't Forget: Apocalypse Ponies.

    Punish mankind for his sins!

  20. David  •  Oct 24, 2012 @9:37 am

    "Ph'neigh mglw'neigh Cpony R'lyeh whin'nie fhtagn."

  21. C. S. P. Schofield  •  Oct 24, 2012 @10:03 am

    David,

    Exactly! The consequences of crossing a "my Little Pony" Pony with a Shuggoth. Hail Nyarthalotep! Hail Shub-Niggurath!

  22. mojo  •  Oct 24, 2012 @10:05 am

    "Bad monkey!"
    – Ghost Busters

  23. kenB  •  Oct 24, 2012 @10:40 am

    How do you know it's too late? Maybe his advertisements are for pony products.

  24. Dwight Brown  •  Oct 24, 2012 @10:52 am

    The ponies are in the wire! THE PONIES ARE IN THE WIRE!

  25. DanH  •  Oct 24, 2012 @11:18 am

    75$ can't even buy you proper pony repellant. Sure, you could get the cheap imported brand, but that fails to repel ponies more often than not.

    By the way, is it Pope Hat or Popehat? I MUST KNOW!

  26. Windypundit  •  Oct 24, 2012 @11:22 am

    Geez, I just quote them my advertising rates. That usually makes them go away. Your way sounds like more fun, though.

  27. Bill  •  Oct 24, 2012 @12:46 pm

    @Ken – I believe you, but how do you know? If he doesn't have a client or isn't paying the cash, what does he expect to accomplish?

  28. Anonymous  •  Oct 24, 2012 @1:01 pm

    Wait, $75 per year?

    I don't even get out of bed for less than $40 an hour.

  29. Ken  •  Oct 24, 2012 @1:03 pm

    @Bill: I know because he sends the same thing to Keith, and because the whole pitch is identical.

    He probably has a stable of clients — pardon the pun — who want to be placed on sites based on traffic. None of them know the sites and none have asked for any particular site.

  30. JLA Girl  •  Oct 24, 2012 @2:03 pm

    Ohmygod that is the most hideous thing I've ever seen! I may never sleep again.

  31. Analee  •  Oct 24, 2012 @2:06 pm

    Is that pony the Gatekeeper or the Keymaster?

  32. darius404  •  Oct 24, 2012 @2:37 pm

    He probably has a stable of clients — pardon the pun

    You are NOT pardoned. You may find such a thing amusing, with your pony-corrupted mind; but I assure, WE DO NOT. We'll be watching you closely, Ponyhat.

  33. Bill  •  Oct 25, 2012 @8:53 pm

    @Ken – that makes sense. I was just curious if there was some other give away, but yah, your explanation is enough to sway this jury.

  34. Anony Mouse  •  Oct 27, 2012 @12:14 am

    This is the police. The pony is posting from inside the website! I repeat, the pony is inside the website!!!

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