A Dialogue With A Guest-Post Spammer

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20 Responses

  1. TJIC says:

    > My blog is not a tool for clumsily marketing your law firm.

    Mine is! Contribute to my legal defense fund, and I'll not only bring my blog back, but I'll throw the considerable – ahem – reputation capital I've amassed behind your firm.

  2. Pierce Nichols says:

    I don't suppose a blast email to a number of the firm partners with a pointed warning is in order…

  3. RyanE says:

    > You know what kind of guest-post-spam might make me bite?

    The kind that offers ponies, or pony-related materials, obviously.

    :)

  4. Grifter says:

    Assuming a base level of writing competency, it's really not hard to come up with a few specific, if perhaps mediocre, blog posts that are actually relevant to various types of sites. It seems really insulting not to even bother. God forbid they spend 5 minutes researching a site before sending their spam! Nope, they only want idiots and marketeers (but I repeat myself) to bite their bait, thus ensuring that their marketing is entirely ineffective, considering the people who'd use that in their decision on who to choose would likely respond just as well to a billboard with an eagle on it (a real, non-Carreon firm out here in Az…)

  5. >a detailed, thoughtful, and non-generic treatment of an issue

    No go. Anyone writing such doesn't have to shop it around to strangers.

    @TJIC, let's talk numbers.

  6. Shawn says:

    I would just find a couple of the personal email addresses for some of the partners at said law firm and have them look at this post!

  7. Grandy says:

    I estimate the following things about the sender of this email:

    Over-under on # of owned iDevices that see active use: 5.5

    Desk contents, starting at surface

    The top features the chords for connecting one of two Apple notebook computers (neither present) as well as hooking up various iDevices to power them. Desktop lamp, style post modernist. A rubber ducky, displayed ironically.

    Top drawer:

    Box of paperclips that come in 5 different, slightly pastel colors. Half full. Moleskin notebook, partly filled. Contains observations of the world as seen through the eyes of a soul that is perhaps trapped. Also poetry.
    Various pens found here: http://www.e-potpourri.com/index.php/2008/02/02/parafernalia-woodstock-fountain-pen-a-designer-writing-instrument-that-fuses-the-classical-the-modern/

    Middle Drawer:

    Several filled moleskin notebooks, filled with same as the one in the top drawer.

    They sit on top of a manuscript that is an unfinished sci fi novel that is not so much a thinly veiled metaphor about modern man throwing off the shackles of Micro$oft/the old order and embrace the i-Essence, but a story about that exact thing with the key names changed, and a few "hey, think we will have such-and-such technology in 30 years?" bits. No comment on whether the protagonist is merely a stand in for the author.

    Bottom:

    The top-most book is a copy of Chomsky for Beginners. In it is a bookmark about 3/4s of the way through the book. Written on the bookmark is a piece of Buddhist philosophy.

    Copy of Hegemony or Survival: America's Quest for Global Dominance. Bookmark can be found towards the very beginning. Bookmark appears to be a piece of Apple schwag.

  8. Michael K. says:

    Why does guest post spam suck so bad? Because the transaction is so backwards. They're asking you for something they need, and making it seem like an offer. "Hey, you've spent so much time and energy turning your blog into an awesome and popular resource that attracts thousands of eyeballs. Please invest your bandwidth and risk your reputation on my shitty, generic content for no possible return! You have nothing to gain and everything to lose, so please promote me as one of your own!

  9. Michael K. says:

    "

    Dammit, I almost quoted the whole goddamn Internet.

  10. Doug says:

    there really should be a "thumbs up" button for some comments.

  11. Ken says:

    @grandy:

    He's using XP to browse us. Perhaps ironically.

  12. docrailgun says:

    But it is a tool for worshipping ponies.

  13. Jeff W says:

    What the hell is a consumer education initiative? It doesn't sound like a real thing.

  14. Penguin says:

    So you posting about this is an affirmation that you like clubbing baby seals, or that you are an open liar?

  15. Ken says:

    @Penguin:

    I think that writing about your solicitation would feel a little like clubbing a baby seal, so I'm not going to name and shame, as is my normal practice to deter this conduct.

    A more honest reader might pick up that I'm talking about writing about him and his firm by name, as opposed to writing about them with their identifying details removed.

  16. perlhaqr says:

    Well, at least he was polite when you pointed out that he was juggling flaming orbs full of hydrofluoric acid.

  17. Ken says:

    Mickey is still lurking about, reading the blog, by the way.

  18. JLA Girl says:

    @Ken — In that case:

    Hi, Mickey! Be glad Ken was in a kind mood when you wandered onto his radar. Most of us like it when he names and shames people!

  19. Pandora says:

    So what advice can the Popehat collective offer to someone who foresees the largely-unsupervised marketing person at their workplace heading down this horrifying path? (Keeping in mind of course that Pandora is below said marketing person in the company food chain.)

  20. Jules says:

    Yes, Mickey, you caught Ken in a rare avuncular mood. Consider it a Sign, go and mis-market no more.