Your Pony Is In Good Hands With Popehat
I was just reading through your blog and thought it was very helpful. I was wondering if you would allow a guest post?
I was considering a topic related to the legal trouble you can get into if you don't have the proper auto insurance.
Is this something you would consider?
I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks!
Kelly Blogger (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Thank you for your inquiry.
Actually, we've already had guest bloggers covering the need for auto insurance. If we repeat similar topics too often, our readers get unruly, and may start either posting unpleasant pictures in the comments, or else abandoning us entirely for sites that cater to their most base and contemptible desires, like Huffington Post.
There is a related topic you could cover, however: the legal trouble you can get into if you don't have proper pony insurance.
Ponies are cute and frolicsome and endearing, Kelly — at least on the surface. But ponies are also deadly. A pony can take away everything you've got and everything you're ever going to have. You won't know it to look at them — unless you look close, in the eye. A pony's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes.
So you can just imagine our concerns about liability, legal and moral, arising from the stable of ponies we've accumulated as payment for advertising and guest-posting. Why, my co-blogger Clark went into that stable just the other day. There was a sound — a harsh and terrible keening, Kelly, a sound like I have never heard before and pray to God I shall never hear again — and Clark came out a different man entirely. He was a changed man — and not even in a good way. He seemed a man emptied of all that was good and hopeful and filled up with something else, something dark and other, and now he sits in the corner in the shadow rocking and muttering softly in some language that not even David can pretend to recognize.
Apparently that sort of thing is not covered by our current pony insurance policy. So you can see my dilemma.
I look forward to your guest post about the hazards of uninsured pony-related activities. Please don't use us as a cautionary tale: it's still too painful.
Very truly yours,
P.S. No Brony stuff.
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