You Forgot To Put A Cherry On Top

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16 Responses

  1. Chris Berez says:

    So… wait. I don't get it. Did they file all these reports and not even bother to look at the photo in question? Seriously? One mentally unstable parent freaks out over some delusion and they just run with it?

  2. Hal_10000 says:

    Oh, the reporter was probably strung out on vodka-soaked tampons.

  3. Patrick says:

    I don't know what happened specifically, because the stories are gone.

    All I know, based on the terms of that retraction, is that WSOC was facing firepower of such magnitude that Admiral Ackbar couldn't repel it.

  4. V says:

    Ugh all-caps. Must be written by people from a legal department.

  5. bluntobject says:

    And Hal wins the thread.

    Normally I find news-site comment threads to be the most virulent form of stupid on the internet, but I was disappointed to find none beneath that all-caps retraction/apology.

  6. The picture itself can be found via Google. I went looking, feeling I needed that to complete the story. The retracted headlines paint a much racier picture than reality, but the picture still made me say, "Da hell?"

  7. Hiccup says:

    "THAT THE YOUNG LADY THOUGHT ABOUT MAKING THIS LASTING IMPRESSION VAGINA FIRST…"

    I'm reading this as either she is going to start the movement by first showing her vagina, or that she considered taking her vagina on the road to do a bad Al Pacino in "Scent of a Woman" act.

    I know it's the first one.

    All I can picture now is someone on stage, sitting crosslegged on a stool. The lights come on and the legs come uncrossed, and from between them comes "Hoo-ah!"

  8. eddie says:

    "Admiral Ackbar couldn't repel it."

    IT'S ALL CAPS!

  9. Beauzeaux says:

    A motto to live by: Make a Lasting Impression — Vagina First!

  10. a_random_guy says:

    Here is a link, as long as it is live. Cut out of context, so it's hard to evaluate. If anything, it looks like the gown is badly designed and gaped open. She is holding a magazine. It doesn't look like an intentional pose, and the resolution is so poor that you really can't tell what underclothes she might be wearing.

    In short: much ado about nothing.

  11. a_random_guy says:

    Let's try that again. This ought to be a link

  12. AlphaCentauri says:

    I'm looking at the size of her shoulders and the apparent length and girth of her thigh — we can't be seeing up as far as we seem to be seeing.

  13. John Pomeroy says:

    But this story is nowhere near as interesting as one below it: "Shelby woman castrates man with bare hands, police say" Her BARE HANDS. I can't even imagine it.

  14. Sass says:

    I agree with AlphaCentauri.

    Whether it is or isn't, though, it's time to return skirt lengths to something lower than crotch length. A little mystery is a good thing.

  15. AlphaCentauri says:

    Sass, yeah short skirts/low cut waistlines + thong underwear is just too much information.

  16. GeekChick says:

    Ah reminds me of:

    Archie: I do. I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.