It's been over two months since we last explored what brings you hobbitses to this site. So it's time for Road to Popehat, the feature in which we review search logs to examine the hidden things, long forgotten in dark places, that bring new readers into the light spaces of Middle Earth.

This month brought out a number of people who are even geekier than we are.

Thief! Thief! Baggins!: It stole our precious, yessss it did, and when we catches it, we'll squeeze it!

O.J. didn't do it: That tricksy Baggins probably did it.

I have the right not to be offended: Then why are you coming here, praytell?

Cuckold say uncle: Cuckold need food, badly! Really, you've already cheated with his or her spouse. Do you have to twist the arm as well?

Please tell me that it is not likely that amendment one will pass in NC: We tried to warn you that it was likely to pass. Did you bother to bother to move to North Carolina so you could vote?

Crystal Cox batshit crazy: Do tell.

Koreans anal: Perhaps you should have typed 항문 instead?

How to avoid a probable cause affidavit in Colorado: I hear Utah's lovely this time of year.

Narcissistic disorder excluded from DSM: The original entry consisted of a photo of Ken, but a cease-and-desist letter took care of the problem.

Last 5 posts by Patrick Non-White

• A Word From Our Sponsor - May 8th, 2013
• Lesson Plan And Syllabus For Second Semester Seniors, Princeton High School - May 3rd, 2013
• A Day Reading Popehat Is Like A Day At The Farm. Every Post Is A Banquet! Every Amazon Purchase A Fortune! Every Comment Thread A Parade! I Love Popehat! - May 2nd, 2013
• I Demand A Senate Investigating Committee - April 27th, 2013
• Be Aware That You Have Threatened, Tried To Blackmail And Accused Our Company Of SCAM With Your E-mail! - April 26th, 2013