Icelandic Parliamentarian Moves For Protection Of Elves; Dwarves Outraged

Geekery, Politics & Current Events

According to the Iceland Review, Icelandic MP Árni Johnsen has taken steps to protect a family of elves by relocating a thirty ton boulder. Johnsen explained that the boulder was home to three generations of living elves.

It appears that Johnsen, of the Icelandic Independence Party, was not motivated by purely altruistic purposes. A source revealed to the Review that in 2010 Johnsen was involved in a single car auto accident, in which the MP's vehicle was destroyed. Johnsen, however, escaped from the collision unscathed. It is speculated that Johnsen's miraculous survival, from an accident which would have killed most men, was the work of elven magic. According to the Review, while Johnsen admits that a number of elves, "from all neighboring settlements", were present in the aftermath of the accident, the parliamentarian claims that his salvation was solely attributable to the intervention of one Ragnhildur, a previously unknown entity which Johnsen described, in conflicting statements, as  a "large being" (a term taken by many outsiders to refer to a minor god of the old Norse pantheon), and, after controversy arose, a purely benevolent "protecting spirit".

Despite Johnsen's efforts to portray what many believe to be the extension of unfair privileges to the Icelandic Elf community as an act of goodwill, many outside observers were unconvinced, noting that Ragnhildur, the Norse godling or protective spirit, goes unmentioned in all but two of the Icelandic sagas, and is relegated to a mere footnote on page 542 of Edith Hamilton's Mythology.

Authorities on Icelandic politics say that while it is not unusual for legislators and executive officials to have dealings with elves, Johnsen's efforts on behalf of the Old People, such as  moving a thirty ton boulder for the sole benefit of one elvish family, are extreme even by Icelandic standards. At present Johnsen is not under official investigation for what even his supporters admit has the appearance of elvish favoritism, but many outside the government speculate that pressure from Iceland's dwarves and trolls will lead to such a probe as parliamentary election season approaches.

Last 5 posts by Patrick Non-White

8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Matt  •  May 17, 2012 @7:21 am

    Where's Ken?

  2. Brad Warbiany  •  May 17, 2012 @7:49 am

    Is the Iceland Review their version of The Onion??

  3. C. S. P. Schofield  •  May 17, 2012 @7:51 am

    I wish to hell OUR legislators spent time dealing with elves. It would make such a nice change from the usual nonhuman vermin.

  4. nlp  •  May 17, 2012 @8:19 am

    In Michael Lewis's Boomerang: Travels in the New Third World there is a section on Iceland, and he discusses the problems with elves, including the difficulty in doing anything regarding real estate, where any builder has to make sure that no elves will be inconvenienced.

  5. SPQR  •  May 17, 2012 @8:33 am

    Funny, she doesn't look Elvish.

  6. Grandy  •  May 17, 2012 @9:54 am

    Matt, Ken is everywhere except specifically where you are.

  7. John  •  May 17, 2012 @10:07 am

    I suspect Icelandic elves are to be found at the bottom of bottles. But then, many fine things are!

  8. Grandy  •  May 17, 2012 @10:10 am

    Since I'm having dinner with an old friend tomorrow night who is of Icelandic descent, and a dual citizen of both the USA and Iceland, this is going to come up. In spades.