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I Wrote An Email

Sep 9, 2011
By .
Fun

I wrote it to the registered agent for service of process of a company that I believe is engaging in a fake-invoice-for-services-not-rendered scam. I copied the company's various public email addresses.

You know how those set me off.

I wish I could share the whole thing with you. But for various reasons I can't.

But if I had a tail, it would have been wagging when I wrote it.

I'll just share a little.

Do you Google, Mr. —? I Google. Some people say that I Google like a motherfucker, but I prefer not to use language like that. I Googled today, Mr. —-, and I observed multiple reports on sites like ripoffreport.com and scaminformer.com and scamchasers.com suggesting that other businesses had gotten invoices from [Scammer], Inc. for services not actually rendered. I also noted that [Scammer], Inc. has a license that is under suspension for failure to comply with a civil judgment. How unpleasant for them!

I live in hope, Mr. —-. I live in hope that this is all just a misunderstanding. Perhaps [Scammer], Inc. did render “preventative maintenance” to us, and we’ve lost the records and everyone is suffering from amnesia. Perhaps [Scammer], Inc. has pure motives and never intended to send out what appears to be a fraudulent invoice, but just needs some constructive criticism about invoice nomenclature. We’d be happy to meet with the folks from [Scammer], Inc. and brainstorm about this, Mr. —. I don’t know what kind of useful advice that former federal prosecutors and a ———— could offer to a company engaged in what skeptical or judgmental people might term a large-scale mail fraud scheme, but I’m sure we’ll think of something. Perhaps we could invite some friends of ours as well. We have many friends from our former jobs.

If you speak with the good people from [Scammer], Inc., Mr. ——, please give them my best regards. Tell them that I hope they will see us – or, perhaps, our friends – soon. Very soon.

Edited to add:

I've decided to have a go at this scammer, as an object lesson. The trail starts here:

Chapter One.
Chapter Two.

Last 5 posts by Ken

21 Comments
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18 Comments

  1. Scott Jacobs  •  Sep 9, 2011 @1:15 pm

    It's like pure evil…

    I love it.

  2. slambie  •  Sep 9, 2011 @1:28 pm

    "Google like a motherfucker" – isn't that a song?

  3. C. S. P. Schofield  •  Sep 9, 2011 @2:00 pm

    Oooooooooo! THAT's gonna leave a mark!

  4. Ken  •  Sep 9, 2011 @2:35 pm

    The scammers, and their lawyer, are making repeated panicky visits to my firm's web site. Watching on Woopra. I am singing a little tune.

  5. Scott Jacobs  •  Sep 9, 2011 @2:51 pm

    How much for you to show the rest of the e-mail (sans identifying info for both them and your firm)?

    And how much to see their reply e-mail?

  6. Scott Jacobs  •  Sep 9, 2011 @2:53 pm

    I don’t know what kind of useful advice that former federal prosecutors and a ———— could offer to a company engaged in what skeptical or judgmental people might term a large-scale mail fraud scheme, but I’m sure we’ll think of something. Perhaps we could invite some friends of ours as well. We have many friends from our former jobs

    I find the veiled threat of calling the feds to be extra awesome.

    Ken, can I come work for you, just so I can bask daily in your presence?

  7. Doug  •  Sep 9, 2011 @3:40 pm

    i just threw my fake invoice notice away. I recently paid to self host my family blog and received a "bill". Wish I had sent them a letter like that.

  8. Ken  •  Sep 9, 2011 @4:39 pm

    Bold little cocksucker. He just called me directly, playing the oh-gee-can-you-explain-what-I-did-wrong. Told him to tell it to the FBI.

  9. Ken  •  Sep 9, 2011 @5:06 pm

    I found a place on the internet where someone else uploaded the invoice. here.

    The scammer on the phone was saying that it's not fraudulent because of that disclaimer. When I was a fed I put people in jail for trying similar gambits.

  10. perlhaqr  •  Sep 9, 2011 @5:08 pm

    "Does Marsellus Wallace look like a bitch?"

  11. David  •  Sep 9, 2011 @5:19 pm

    Nelson Ha Ha

  12. SPQR  •  Sep 9, 2011 @8:49 pm

    Ken, these people do need to be prosecuted. The local community college where I sometimes teach was flooded with similar scam invoices, and there is an estiimate that the scammers got six figures of state money before the moronic auditors caught on.

  13. SPQR  •  Sep 9, 2011 @8:52 pm

    Oh, and Ken, if their little scummy lawyer tries to contact you, dump an attorney regulation complaint on him.

    We can't threaten criminal or administration action to obtain an advantage in a civil matter, so my rule of thumb is to file the complaint first …

  14. Doug  •  Sep 10, 2011 @12:59 pm

    the notice I recieved was similar, but way from New York. It had similar wording.

  15. Ken  •  Sep 10, 2011 @2:03 pm

    SPQR, since I am not pursuing a civil matter against then, I can threaten whatever I want.

    I've found scammer's personal and entity bankruptcy cases, and all the adversary actions filed against them.

  16. Ken  •  Sep 10, 2011 @2:38 pm

    Decided to make the scammer a project and object lesson in use of online resources. Digging into his life.

  17. Chris Berez  •  Sep 10, 2011 @3:36 pm

    Have I ever told you you're my hero?

    Goddamn this is awesome.

  18. Mark Bennett  •  Sep 10, 2011 @6:28 pm

    Hmmm…

    Registered Agent: DENNIS BARANOWSKI (website)
    Registered Agent Address: 10700 CIVIC CENTER DR, RANCHO CUCAMONGA CA 91730-3897

    OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS:

    UST DEVELOPMENT, INC. – As of: 02/22/2011
    Officer: BRANDEN TOMERIC BELL, PRESIDENT, 6241 CARROTWOOD CT, RANCHO CUCAMONGA CA 91739-1737

    UST DEVELOPMENT, INC. – As of: 08/31/2010
    Officer: DAVID BELL, PRESIDENT, 3305 PARK VISTA DR, LA CRESCENTA CA 91214-3356

    UST DEVELOPMENT, INC. – As of: 08/25/2009
    Officer: DAVID BELL, PRESIDENT, 3305 PARK VISTA DR, LA CRESCENTA CA 91214-3356

    BELL, BRANDEN TOMERIK DOB Oct 6 1974

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