Asshole Spammer Lawyer Friday

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8 Responses

  1. David says:

    …publicly throws his or her marketeer under the bus.

    … and divorces him!

  2. Nearly Legal says:

    Well, as a Brit, it is incumbent upon me to point out that Havilands & Co consists of two lawyers in Romford, Essex.

    Details via the Law Society here.

    And those two lawyers practice in: Conveyancing residential, Debt and money advice, Family law, Immigration law, Insolvency and bankruptcy, Landlord and tenant – residential.

    What is more they intend to be innovative (and I quote):

    "We intend to be one of the leading firms in the UK to integrate Information Technology on all our cases (case tracker).
    We intend to use our success in this area as a global advantage for a prospective expansion in the future"

    Hurrah for them, I say, despite the non-functioning 'blog' and 'articles" tabs on their site. It is tough using your success as a global advantage, after all. They need our goodwill.

  3. Ken says:

    Nearly Legal, please rest assured I meant no ethnic invective by "wig wearers," just as I mean no offense by other terms such as "crumpet monkeys," just as you mean no offense by terms like "loutish, fatuous Yank."

  4. Nearly Legal says:

    I'd love a wig. Really. I'd love to have the right to ponce around in a slightly smelly and tightly curled periwig. Sex on legs.

    Sadly, only solicitors with higher rights of audience get to wear the horsehair. Otherwise it is just those damn barristers. Even judges go without these days. A poor show, even on a hot day in court.

    I suspect that Havilands haven't been near a wig, or at least a legal one. Still, it is unfair of your fatuous self to mock their global expansion plans. I'm sure that the two of them can competently handle all the business that their spam provides.

    As to loutish, I couldn't comment till I see how you handle a bottle of beer. Obviously, I have my suspicions…

  5. Ken says:

    A warm beer, no doubt. ::shudder::

    Speaking of beer, I very much miss bar towels. I mean, not that I hang in bars any more. But the student tradition of swiping bar towels from different pubs is a fine one. A friend of mine made a spectacular duvet cover out of her collection. I was always too timid to get one.

  6. Old Geezer says:

    "…if we are confident justice needs to be done." IF? So, there are times when they just don't think justice needs to be done.

    Also, I assume some firms do not use the term "outcall" because they do not aspire to the higher ethics implied by its use.

  7. eddie says:

    Re "outcall" – bear in mind that most people aren't familiar with legal jargon.

  8. Charles says:

    "If we don't think justice needs to be done we will fritter away your retainer on beans and toast before telling you that we need to terminate representation."