Asshole Spammer Lawyer Friday
It's time to name and shame some scummy attorney comment spammers: that subset of the legal profession that either (a) thinks that comment spam is an appropriate way to market legal services, or (b) thinks that it isn't necessary to supervise marketeers. Both sentiments are wrong. A lawyer who thinks that leaving unwanted, irrelevant advertising on strangers' blogs reflects well on him is a jackass with poor judgment, and it's dangerous to hire a lawyer with poor judgment. A lawyer who thinks that she need not supervise how she is marketed by marketeers soon discovers that when you outsource your marketing, you outsource your ethics and your reputation.
This week's contestants:
1. The wig-wearers of Havillands & Co. Solicitors. They are the English kind of solicitors, not the prostitute kind, despite their having spammed us with six bloody pages of linkspam. What's their approach to the law:
Irrespective of the type of case and the stress involved, we go all the way if we are confident justice needs to be done.
How . . . very comforting.
2. "KEL Attorneys", the lawyers of Kaufman, Englett and Lynd, PLLC, who have deluged us with dozens and dozens of spam comments. In an effort at innovation, KEL Attorneys link their spam to pages about them or mentioning them rather than directly to their website. If your web site was as overpoweringly dull and generic as theirs, you might prefer to link to various yahoo! pages as well.
3. Mitchell & Mitchell, a Tennessee firm specializing in auto accidents and divorce, which is particularly useful if you run over your spouse in your car and he or she just stop giving you shit about it:
Mitchell & Mitchell provides high quality legal services to individuals, families, and businesses while specializing in divorce and auto accidents.
The implication is that when they work on anything else, they are strictly ass.
4. McAfee Law Offices, a California bankruptcy firm. Spammers are ethically bankrupt, so that fits.
5. Matorell Law, the firm of Frederick J. Matorell, who does not know the difference between a blog and a clumsy, butt-ugly SEO optimization page.
6. Hargrove & Associates, a personal injury firm, the chief selling point of which appears to be that its lawyers will drive to see you. Just say "outcall" and save some space, guys.
All of these firms, either through deliberate fuckwittery or abject failure to supervise marketeers, has sent us unwanted and unwelcome comment spam. Shame on them.
My typical offer stands: I will remove any name if the spammer (1) sincerely apologizes for his or her own spamming, if it was deliberate, or (2) publicly throws his or her marketeer under the bus.
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