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A Topical Note For Our Friends In The United Kingdom

Aug 9, 2011
By .
Politics & Current Events

Via Instapundit, I see that the fastest "movers and shakers" on Amazon UK's sporting goods site are baseball bats, long bars of metal disguised as keychains, stilettos disguised as fountain pens, and, at number one, some weird tonfun-like folding mace.

Regarding the baseball bats, I thought you people didn't play the game, but if you do, you're doing it wrong.

You're buying aluminum bats.  The aluminum models don't pack the mass, and therefore energy, of a baseball bat made of ash wood.  Ash is one of the hardest of hard woods.  A wooden baseball bat will hit the ball further, and stands up to repeated use at least as well as an aluminum bat, which can warp and become unusable with one hard blow.  Only kids play with aluminum bats.  Real men, and real women, hit with ash.

Or as one of your countrymen put it, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is useful.

As long as it's used peacefully, of course.

Last 5 posts by Patrick

20 Comments
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20 Comments

  1. Patrick  •  Aug 9, 2011 @2:44 pm

    And in the past ten minutes, I see that Amazon has either stopped selling, or sold out of, the weird tonfun-like folding mace. I'm betting that they stopped selling it, because the page has been removed entirely. And I'm betting that they stopped selling it because they were told to stop selling it.

    You people are pathetic. You deserve to have your homes and businesses burned.

  2. Wilhelm Arcturus  •  Aug 9, 2011 @3:05 pm

    Cricket bats are pretty formidable, even if made of willow, and probably more readily available in the UK, so I am not sure why they would rush to baseball bats.

    And aluminum bats no less. Their beer cans are made out of aluminum (or aluminium) so they have to know this is not the most fearsome of metals.

  3. aczarnowski  •  Aug 9, 2011 @3:10 pm

    The wooden ones are cheaper too.

    Though with their surely atrophied swinging muscles I'd recommend an axe handle. All the hardness but trading weight for speed.

  4. Patrick  •  Aug 9, 2011 @3:11 pm

    I think a baseball bat is superior, unless one is playing cricket, due to superior aerodynamics.

    Of course, a head is much larger and more fragile (on the inside) than a baseball or a cricket wicket, so it may not matter.

  5. JC  •  Aug 9, 2011 @3:14 pm

    Not sure about the wood/aluminum argument. Because the mass of the metal bat is more evenly distributed, can't you can swing it faster, thus generating more force? I'll agree with you one solid hit leading to warping though.

  6. Wilhelm Arcturus  •  Aug 9, 2011 @3:14 pm

    As an aside, the reviews of baseball bats on Amazon UK… well… they are worth reading for a chuckle.

  7. bill.  •  Aug 9, 2011 @5:24 pm

    like this one:

    "Bet you wish you had a Second Amendment about now, eh? Want to trade your mythical gun-free society for a shotgun, anyone? "

  8. ecurb  •  Aug 9, 2011 @5:59 pm

    >>bill.

    And the response to it? Wow… "only throwing bottles"? Guess all those shops must have spontaneously combusted.
    What a pathetic country. I'm glad I got out years ago.

  9. SPQR  •  Aug 9, 2011 @7:22 pm

    There used to be a great nation among those islands …

  10. Patrick  •  Aug 9, 2011 @8:53 pm

    Now the number one item is a set of telescoping nunchaku.

    A foolish weapon, for foolish people.

  11. ecurb  •  Aug 9, 2011 @9:23 pm

    It's still below a sharpened entrenching tool at #1, sales of which have increased 284,100%.
    Soldiers use them as melee weapons, yeah, but 1) only because they didn't carry anything better, and 2) because they weren't using £7.29 Chinese discount copies…

  12. G Thompson  •  Aug 9, 2011 @11:52 pm

    hmmmm a very inciteful,/strike>insightful article . o_O

  13. John Farrier  •  Aug 10, 2011 @7:25 am

    I am so glad that I now own a gun.

  14. John Burgess  •  Aug 10, 2011 @8:30 am

    Cricket bats would get the job done. I sort of like the aerodynamics of them, in fact. Edge-on, you've got at least as good a force/sq. in. Use the broadside when the opponent is under 12.

  15. bw1  •  Aug 10, 2011 @10:18 am

    Aluminum bats perform better than wood and their absence in some leagues is due to being banned for reasons of competetiveness or safety (line drives off aluminum bats have killed a few infielders.)

    See:
    http://www.kettering.edu/physics/drussell/bats-new/alumwood.html

  16. Dyspeptic Curmudgeon  •  Aug 10, 2011 @2:38 pm

    I thought that wooden bats were used in the majors, because metal bats strike harder.

    There is one particular advantage to a metal bat, especially if you are home-owner protecting your property. You cannot remove blood/dna from the pores of a wooden bat, while a quick wipe with bleach will return your metal bat to a forensically clean pristine state.

    Given the proclivities of the cops over there, being forensically clean might be an advisable state.

  17. SamD  •  Aug 10, 2011 @7:12 pm

    saw a Lester Maddox autograph model pick handle on flea bay the other day

  18. marco73  •  Aug 11, 2011 @5:04 am

    I think one of the advantages of having a wooden bat is that if you get it particularly blood stained, rioters will think twice about their chances against you and your bloody club.

  19. Mannie  •  Aug 11, 2011 @11:05 am

    Pick handles. Axe handles. Hell, axes. Those four pronged digging forks that inhabit every garden shed. Iron pipes. Pointy sticks.

    A f(r)iend was prepared to defend his manse with his military ceremonial sword. It appears that when Citizens were willing to stand together, even in small numbers, they successfully drove off the "youths."

    Instapundit commented that London lacks AR-15 armed Koreans to sort out the rioters. I'm with that. But the British don't want to be armed. They have abdicated their ability and responsibility to defend themselves.

    It's dry.

  20. A Critic  •  Aug 15, 2011 @10:04 am

    The aluminum models don’t pack the mass, and therefore energy, of a baseball bat made of ash wood.

    Aluminum bats are hollow for a reason – you can easily fill them with sand or lead shot. The ones I've seen come with a hole conveniently predrilled in the base of the handle. I recommend modifying one and testing it out on a wood or concrete block or the nearest yob before you dismiss the potential of these inexpensive readily available clubs.