HERO CHILD SMASHES EASTASIAN CRIMETHINKER PLOT! VICTORY ON MALABAR FRONT ASSURED!

Politics & Current Events

Well, not really.  A kid in Charlotte turned in his parents for having a stash of pot.

But you wouldn't know that from listening to D.A.R.E. officer Stason Tyrell as he smugly congratulates the squealer on turning in his parents.

Something has gone genuinely wrong in this country, when the government pins a medal on a kid's chest for helping the Man bust his parents.  If anything was ever right about this country in the first place:

The 11-year-old student is in 5th grade at a an elementary school in Matthews.  Police say he brought his parents' marijuana cigarettes to school when he reported them.

Matthews Police say he reported his parents after a lesson about marijuana was delivered by a police officer who is part of the D.A.R.E. program, which teaches kids about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, and tobacco.

"Even if it's happening in their own home with their own parents, they understand that's a dangerous situation because of what we're teaching them," said Matthews Officer Stason Tyrrell.  That's what they're told to do, to make us aware."

Tyrrell says the town's D.A.R.E. officer spends time at each of the three elementary schools in Matthews teaching kids to make the right choice when it comes to drugs.

The right choice, in this case, was to destroy the child's own family.

Police arrested the child's 40-year-old father and 38-year-old mother on Thursday.

Both were charged with two misdemeanor counts each of marijuana possession and possession of drug paraphernalia.

They were not jailed and were released on a written promise to appear in court.

"I don't give drugs to my kids," the father told us when we went to his house.

When we asked him how his kid got ahold of his drugs, he replied, "That's no one's business."

No, it's everyone's business. Because if a boy can't turn his parents in based on what he finds while rooting through the cigar box in dad's bedroom closet, we might as well live in Russia.

Last 5 posts by Patrick

10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. Mike  •  Nov 1, 2010 @10:01 am

    Awesome title!

  2. SPQR  •  Nov 1, 2010 @11:01 am

    I'm not a legalization advocate but I've long thought that DARE was an ineffective joke. Driving tarted up Corvette's to schools with lame anti-drug messages are not going to address drug use at all. Its a featherbed job for favored cops.

    I was trying to remember where I saw studies of DARE that showed it counter-effective.

  3. Dan Weber  •  Nov 1, 2010 @11:22 am

    This hits so close to home it's scary. Not because I've got dope in the house, but the physical and temporal proximity.

    What would happen if a kid brought in a beer?

  4. Ken  •  Nov 1, 2010 @4:49 pm

    Any one of my kids would dime me out in a hot second for half a tootsie pop.

  5. Piper  •  Nov 1, 2010 @4:58 pm

    It's probably growing up in Marin, but raiding the folks' stash was a high school pastime for some people I knew. Why would you kill the goose that laid the green buds?

    On the flip side, at least one parent (in that situation) developed such a problem with marijuana that it led to divorce.

  6. Patrick  •  Nov 1, 2010 @6:23 pm

    This will certainly be wonderful for the old marriage won't it Piper?

  7. nrasmuss13  •  Nov 1, 2010 @8:24 pm

    Proper headline: "Small minded fool thrilled to death to discover ridiculous effects of own idiotic conduct."

    Good job, officer. If your department faces budget cuts, may I suggest inquiring about a position with the Stasi?

  8. Base of the Pillar  •  Nov 2, 2010 @9:56 am

    I'm imagining how the kid would feel 10 years from now if he got put into foster care as a result of turning in a blunt.

  9. Nim  •  Nov 8, 2010 @2:01 pm

    My son's school did the DARE program when he was in 6th or 7th grade. I read through all the materials that he brought home at the time and was appalled. According to DARE, I must be some sort of drug addled freak because I have tattoos, because we all know how tattoos are the international symbol for drugged out criminals..

    At the very least though, it gave me a great opportunity to have a good discussion with my son about having critical thinking skills and not believing everything that people tell you.

  10. Dennis  •  Nov 22, 2010 @7:39 am

    On Veterans' Day, did you remember our boys in the floating fortresses on the Malabar Front? They keep us all safe.