Contact
Subscribe


Glen Beck Wouldn't Lie, Right?

Jul 27, 2010
By .
Politics & Current Events

I'm sure you have heard that my favorite raving crazy person Glenn Beck is hosting a (surely non-offensive) rally on the anniversary of Dr. King's "I Have a Dream" speech at the Lincoln Memorial. And, I'm sure you agree that there is absolutely no way this could be possibly be a bad idea. Well, in case you don't, Glenn offers these calming words in a press release about the event: "The Restoring Honor Rally is neither a 9/12 nor a Tea Party rally. There will be absolutely no politics involved."

See, case closed. Glenn tells us it's a non-political event. Wait, what's that? The featured speakers are Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck? Well, they are certainly noted for their non-partisan nature, aren't they?

A few random notes & observations about Beck's Meisterwerk:

- A few weekends ago, he had cousins of the King Family on to make it seem like this was okay with the family, or that this rally was somehow a tribute to Dr. King. It was sort of funny, but also really sad. Good to know that even the King family has crazy uncles.
- I wonder how much Sarah Palin is getting paid to speak here? Her going rate seems to be about 100K (75K at CSU Stanislaus 100K at the tea party convention)
- Among the things you cannot bring to this rally: pets, helium balloons, glass containers and fireworks. Good news gun nuts, nowhere does it say you can't bring firearms. Oh, sorry, firearms are still prohibited at the Memorial.
- The most notable prohibited item: signs. Perhaps learning from the follies of tea parties past that maven of the First Amendment Glenn Beck is denying you the right to express yourself on cardboard. Who's the fascist now Glenn? Sayeth Der Beck "signs (political or otherwise) may deter from the peaceful message we are bringing to Washington." You know what what else deters that message? Pretty much everything you say.
- But, they do suggest you bring your flag.
- By the way, nice to see Jo Dee Messina getting work. I wonder if Lee Greenwood was busy?

Last 5 posts by Ezra

7 Comments
Tags , ,

7 Comments

  1. Ken  •  Jul 27, 2010 @2:04 pm

    Will this be televised? Because I'd like to make a drinking game out of it.

    Speaker says something nutty: drink.
    Speaker says something political: drink.
    Speaker says something simultaneously nutty and political: drink three times.
    Speaker engages in some version of Apophasis regarding politics (e.g. "Here we are just yards away from Obama being socialist. But I'm not going to talk about politics."): drain your glass.
    Speaker raises, and ridicules, the notion that his or her words are obnoxious: ("some people will say that I am racist for saying that those Negroes need to get off their ass. But it's just the truth."): Drain your drink in under five seconds.

  2. Ken  •  Jul 27, 2010 @2:07 pm

    Glenn Beck says something that makes you re-question your prior conclusion as to whether he is a non-sincere opinion-pornstar/genuine crazy person/political fanatic: pound your drink, cry.

    Someone manages to slip in a reference to Glenn Beck killing and raping a girl in 1990: pound your drink, throw glass against wall, scream BOOYAH.

  3. Charles  •  Jul 27, 2010 @3:08 pm

    Are you already on the liver transplant list or something? That sounds like a game for college freshmen during hazing week.

  4. DMG  •  Jul 27, 2010 @3:45 pm

    Ken, you just made this worth watching.

  5. Scott Jacobs  •  Jul 27, 2010 @11:17 pm

    Good idea, Ken… however, make sure you don't play the follow-up game: That night/the next day, take a drink every time someone on MSNBC calls the rally or any part of it "Racist".

    I ask you not to play this game, because you will end up with alcohol poisoning within the hour…

  6. Ezra  •  Jul 28, 2010 @3:22 pm

    And, if Beck can sneak in a reference to how valuable gold and silver are, and how we should be stocking up, down the bottle.

    Scott, I just set my DVR for the 8/30 Olbermann show. I have a feeling I won't be drinking a whole lot. Something tells me they won't need to call it racist. They can just go right to reprehensible.

  7. William W. Wexler  •  Aug 11, 2010 @10:48 am

    I like the idea of the drinking game. In fact, it's hilarious!

    I don't actually use alcohol any more, but I believe that this game could be easily adapted to marijuana. For medical uses only, of course.

    Thanks for the article, Ezra, please stop by and visit us sometime.

    -Wexler