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This Is Exactly Why It's Risky To Show A Cop Your Identification

Jul 12, 2010
By .
Irksome

I've often mentioned that I enjoy Cracked Magazine, the superior online version of what was once an also-ran to Mad. Cracked frequently manages to say things in the guise of satire that people are reluctant to say outright, which is supposed to be the function of satire in the first place.

This week, in a riff on one of our frequently discussed themes, Cracked tackles Six Completely Legal Ways Cops Can Screw You. Their #1 way is well-chosen. Read about how Ohio cops stole the identity of innocent citizen Haley Dawson, who is not a stripper, and gave it to criminal justice student and cop-wannabee Michelle Szuhay, who used it to go undercover as a stripper at a club suspected of promoting drugs and prostitution. Szuhay used Dawson's social security number and a copy of her driver's license to work as a stripper in the suspect club, but things when south when she began to get chummy with the owners.

The police did not get Haley Dawson's permission to use her identity it what sounds like the plot to a Cinemax movie. I doubt the police will clear up any legal or credit or tax consequences for her. The police say they are allowed to do it. For the good of the citizens.

Last 5 posts by Ken

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5 Comments

  1. nzc  •  Jul 12, 2010 @1:56 pm

    Also remember that when you are driving your car, you are essentially waving your id all over the place.

    I recently got a citation in the mail claiming I had parked illegally in Brookline, Massachusetts, on a day when I can document that the car in question was in a parking lot in New Hampshire. I tried to contest it, assuming it was a mistake, but the police had a correct description of my car. Oh, and I got the notification in the mail claiming it was my second or third notice, and so the fine was something like a c-note. I paid it, because the alternative was too wasteful of my time. We speculate that I pissed an off-duty Brookline cop off in traffic, and he wrote me up for the parking violation. What other explanation can there be?

  2. mojo  •  Jul 12, 2010 @2:14 pm

    So – cops in Ohio (The State that says "Hello!" in Japanese) are allowed to ignore federal identity-theft laws?

  3. Rick H.  •  Jul 12, 2010 @5:54 pm

    mojo, actually it's the State that says "Good Morning!"

  4. mojo  •  Jul 13, 2010 @8:27 am

    "ohio gozimas" is "good morning"

  5. Justin  •  Jul 13, 2010 @11:19 pm

    It gets far more disturbing than that.

    They used some poor intern's dream of being a cop in order to get her to dance naked (for $100 a night, oh boy) while everyone else in the department watched (if not there, then on the internet). Quoting one of the officers:

    "Watching her dance was quite different than the other girls. She was doing some things I think she was ashamed of. . . . I think it was more about what she thought her family would think, and her dad in particular."

    Oh yeah, and two of the officers in the case had sex with her. But I'm sure that was a purely consensual thing, and the good officers didn't use any sort of "future job" coercion.

    And after all that, what does she get? Trumped up charges of perjury and obstruction of justice because the police found her "difficult to work with" (Gee, wonder why?). From that article:

    "The perjury charge related to an accusation that she lied during her testimony by saying she wasn't wearing a wig; she was."

    Yup, sure sounds like something a person would commit perjury over instead of being mistaken about. That's why you always answer "I don't remember". Never know when some cop or prosecutor will get some hard-on for you.

    I'm guessing a certain someone doesn't want to be a cop anymore.

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