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What's Our Secret Plan To Drive Big Traffic To Popehat?

Jul 1, 2010
By .
Politics & Current Events, WTF?

In a word: socialism.

See, it turns out that Google, Yahoo!, and the other big search engines are part of a secret plot to drive traffic to socialist sites rather than decent, God-fearing, pro-American-values sites.

I learned about this courtesy of "Reasonjester" at "Tea Party Nation."

IT IS MY SUSPICION THAT GOOGLE AND YAHOO ARE STEPPING UP GOVERNMENT PROPAGANDA BY MOVING UP SOCIALIST-FRIENDLY (AKA STATE-FRIENDLY) LINKS IN THE SEARCH HITS.

Many people have suspected this before, but I am really starting to see some strange behavior out of Google, in particular. And it is not just a reflection of more aggressive AP and MSM bias, there are numerous leftist blogs that are being moved up.

The explanation is simple: The U.S. government has signaled to the search engines that if you don't play hardball, the government will shut you down. This type of intimidation can be seen with the Chinese instructing Google to censor hits while threatening not to renew its license.

I'm pretty sure Reasonjester meant "if you don't play ball," rather than "if you don't play hardball," but it's possible that incipient socialism has caused me to see mixed metaphors where there are none.

Reasonjester's commenters agree:

Ive also noticed when you try to inter a web sight that is against liberal beliefs the sight freezes up and stalls on you like a connection problem causing you to have to wait forever ,

But a sight that has liberal postings and debates you get in and have no problems .

One of two things .

Either thay are lagging you on purpose are liberal sights are not as active as thay build them up to be making less traffic on the forum's.

So when freerepublic.com crashes, that's because the tubes have been deliberately broken by communists to thwart conservative speech.

I have long suspected it.

Well, as you know, we're total traffic whores here. So we'll be moving to an all-socialist, all-the-time format. I've stopped bathing. Patrick is regrowing the beard he had in grad school. Ezra is — well, Ezra is Ezra.

Fortunately the definition of "socialist" seems somewhat broader than it was when I learned it in school, so we should still be able to bring you a broad range of topics.

Thanks, Tea Party Nation!

Last 5 posts by Ken

14 Comments
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14 Comments

  1. Imaginary Lawyer  •  Jul 1, 2010 @5:22 pm

    Reminiscent of Red State's claim that it was liberals' fault they were having site problems, because liberal IT people won't offer their upgrading/maintenance skills for free to Red State, thus the liberal conspiracy prevented Red State from getting all the free IT help it deserved.

  2. Old Geezer  •  Jul 1, 2010 @5:34 pm

    It must be true. Otherwise they would have access to spell check and grammar check.

  3. Psmeberg  •  Jul 2, 2010 @4:25 am

    WHAT MORE DO YOU RIGHT WING EXTREMISTS WANT??CAN'T YOU LEAVE US SOMETHING NOW THAT YOU HAVE TOTALLY HARNESSED OUR GOVERNMENT FROM EVER PROGRESSING TO ANYTHING MORE THAN THE PLUTOCRACY IT IS NOW. Has anybody noticed that the middle class was wiped out during the past 5 years or are all of you who used to be in the middle class still trying to convince yourselves that this is not so; that this could not possibly happen in our wonderful democracy where even a black man can be president…..Has anyone noticed that the people who live in so called socialist-type countries like England, Canada, Italy, France, Sweden have a large and by all standards of living much happier middle class and are living fuller lives than 90+% of us in the USA are at this time?? And don't give me that age-old crap about how they pay more TAXES THAN US???

  4. Patrick  •  Jul 2, 2010 @6:42 am

    Jeebus!

  5. jdub  •  Jul 2, 2010 @7:02 am

    Well, as you know, we’re total traffic whores here.

    Actually, that wasn't my first impression, based on the harumph harumph.

    So we’ll be moving to an all-socialist, all-the-time format.

    Moving to?

    I’ve stopped bathing.

    Stopped

    Ok, seriously, though, fellas. This is effort?
    Love the blog, but come on. Low-hanging fruit much?

  6. jdub  •  Jul 2, 2010 @7:04 am

    Wow, the formatting on that comment was awful.
    I've made a fool of myself again, I see.
    You'll pay for this, Popehat. Dearly.
    As soon as Halliburton, the Trilateral Commission, the Bilderbergers, Orly Taitz and the Birchers get around to it.

  7. Grandy  •  Jul 2, 2010 @8:03 am

    WHAT MORE DO YOU RIGHT WING EXTREMISTS WANT??CAN’T YOU LEAVE US SOMETHING NOW THAT YOU HAVE TOTALLY HARNESSED OUR GOVERNMENT FROM EVER PROGRESSING TO ANYTHING MORE THAN THE PLUTOCRACY IT IS NOW. Has anybody noticed that the middle class was wiped out during the past 5 years or are all of you who used to be in the middle class still trying to convince yourselves that this is not so; that this could not possibly happen in our wonderful democracy where even a black man can be president…..Has anyone noticed that the people who live in so called socialist-type countries like England, Canada, Italy, France, Sweden have a large and by all standards of living much happier middle class and are living fuller lives than 90+% of us in the USA are at this time?? And don’t give me that age-old crap about how they pay more TAXES THAN US???

    The 12 hour or 1/2 Day clock is an intended EVIL against humanity – indicting every human on Earth as Dumb, Educated Stupid and Evil – for imaginary Cubed Earth has 4 Days within simultaneous rotation.

  8. Patrick  •  Jul 2, 2010 @8:29 am

    "I have SuperNatural Wisdom. NO God mentality can Know my 4 Day Cube. No Bible Word equals my TimeCubed Earth."

  9. Dwight Brown  •  Jul 2, 2010 @5:27 pm

    "UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this IMPORTANT Information is ENCOURAGED, ESPECIALLY to COMPUTER BULLETIN BOARDS."

  10. Al  •  Jul 3, 2010 @8:43 am

    "EDWARD and BELLA have the KIND of TRUE LOVE that we ALL WANT!"

  11. Patrick  •  Jul 3, 2010 @9:14 am

    Yog Sothoth KNOWS the gate. Yog Sothoth IS the gate. Yog Sothoth is the KEY and GUARDIAN of the gate. PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE, all are ONE in Yog Sothoth. He KNOWS where the OLD ONES broke through of old, and where THEY shall break through again. He KNOWS where THEY have trod earth's fields, and where THEY still tread them, and why NO ONE can behold THEM AS THEY TREAD.

  12. Charles  •  Jul 3, 2010 @9:14 pm

    I've got to start posting enough that I merit a reference in this kind of post.

    Also, it is nice to see the Jews off the hook for a change.

  13. Derrick  •  Jul 5, 2010 @6:33 am

    wait, I thought our secret traffic plan was porn?

  14. matt  •  Jul 5, 2010 @9:25 am

    no thats the public plan