Hi! Your Criticism of Spam Suggests You'd Like My Spam!

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Trish Williams at SearchEngineRanking.ass wants to help me grow my personal injury practice in Seattle, according to an email she just sent me.

Hi! My name is Trish Williams and I am an internet marketing specialist. I googled the word "Seattle personal injury lawyers" and your website is currently ranked 64 for that term.

If you want to get your website to the TOP 10 – We can help! With both Local Business Listing and Organic Search Ranking.

Wait a minute, Ken, you might say. We, your faithful readers, know that you don't practice personal injury law (much), and that you don't practice in Seattle, and that Popehat is not a site you use to promote your practice anyway. What gives?

Well, Trish is apparently confused. She must have looked at several posts ridiculing sleazy Seattle lawyers for promoting themselves through comment spam, became disoriented, and concluded that we are ourselves Seattle lawyers promoting ourselves on this site. Perhaps Trish has special needs. Perhaps Trish has recently sustained a major head injury.

Or perhaps, more likely, Trish and her company use some sort of program to spam blogs with emails automatically when pre-selected search terms appear upon them, without any human being checking first to see if the search term actually has anything to do with the blog. Perhaps Trish is a friend or associate of SEO spammer Jamie Spottz, who previously offered us some entertainment, and uses a similar brand name. Perhaps Trish has relied upon impersonal software and has not, personally, contemplated the irony of sending marketing spam to a web site based on its posts ridiculing and criticizing spam marketing.

Perhaps potential customers of Trish and SearchEngineRanking.ass should ask themselves — why would I pay good money to "marketing experts" who themselves market through irritating spam? Why would I trust my reputation to people who would promote themselves that way? Why would I trust my reputation to people who would not only market themselves through offensive and impertinent spam, but would use their own names and put their own pictures on the internet while they do it?

When you outsource your marketing — including search engine placement — you outsource your ethics and your reputation.

Last 5 posts by Ken White

4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Charles  •  Apr 29, 2010 @12:32 pm

    Come on, Tim! Take off your Time-Life Lady headset for your web portrait.

  2. Patrick  •  Apr 29, 2010 @12:49 pm

    Tim looks like a man dancing the high wire between sanity and mayhem, a man who could snap at any time. Children run screaming to their mothers when Tim walks the streets. Tim's neighborhood is plastered with "Have you seen this dog?" flyers.

    Tim frightens me.

  3. Patrick  •  Apr 29, 2010 @12:57 pm

    Also, I can't believe we're the 64th ranked personal injury firm in Seattle, according to Google.

  4. Nancy  •  Apr 29, 2010 @1:05 pm

    I'll never understand why people insist on including personal information when writing their little bios. Do they think that I'll be impressed that someone is married and managed to get a kid into Notre Dame? Do they think the warm and cuddly bit will make me hire them? I'd rather know where they learned marketing and how much IT experience they have. (Okay, I'll admit that my vets' site, which shows all the vets with their pets, gives me some confidence that they genuinely like animals. But that's not why I go there). But in general, telling me that someone is married and has two kids leads me to think, "so what?"