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Finally, A Principled System for Resolving Disputed Elections

Nov 30, 2009
By .
Politics & Current Events

Dave Barry reveals that in the town of Crested Butte, they solve disputed votes not with litigation, but with a rousing game of Bear-Ninja-Cowboy.

Ronald Mason and Phoebe Wilson tied in votes for a city council seat. Did they bring in droves of lawyers to dispute ballots? They did not. They settled it like rational adults:

According to the witnessed affidavit submitted by Hughes, on the count of three, each candidate would turn around and assume one of the positions.
The official document describes the following:
“Round One: Mason bear; Wilson bear: outcome—tie.
“Round Two: Mason cowboy; Wilson bear: outcome—Mason wins.
“Round Three: Mason bear; Wilson ninja: outcome—Mason wins.
“Final outcome: Mason wins a four-year seat. Wilson gets a two year seat.

I would totally vote for anyone who would do that.

I'm not clear on why there is no pirate involved, though.

Last 5 posts by Ken

7 Comments
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7 Comments

  1. Vedrfolnir  •  Nov 30, 2009 @11:51 am

    Bear? Bear!? 'Tis a pirate, 'tis! Death to the bears, mateys! Arm the cannons and come about Mr. Spinky! Man the starboard rails and prepare to board 'er. Yaharr!

  2. Scott Jacobs  •  Nov 30, 2009 @12:10 pm

    "I’m not clear on why there is no pirate involved, though."

    Probably because no one could decide which would trump which, Pirate or Ninja…

  3. Chris  •  Nov 30, 2009 @1:53 pm

    Individual, or in their usual quantities? Ninjas suffer from the specific theory of badass relativity, where any quantities of ninjas, in aggregate, are equally badass. One ninja is a fair fight for the spanish armada, while a few dozen ninjas would easily be taken by an average pirate vessel.

  4. mojo  •  Nov 30, 2009 @3:49 pm

    To err is human. To ARRRRRRR is Pirate.

  5. Tscott  •  Nov 30, 2009 @8:04 pm

    Interesting game. I wonder if it is compatible with the Lizard Spock Expansion?

  6. Eduardo  •  Nov 30, 2009 @10:27 pm

    That… that is my home town. What a bizarre thing to have happened.

    I should mention its full of stoners, hippies, and ski-bums.

  7. Soronel Haetir  •  Dec 2, 2009 @8:21 am

    I've seen articles about tied elections being settled by coin flips and high card draw. This is far more humorous though.